what do i do to get better after being depressed for more than 3yrs?

i got 14 out of 17 on this quiz from this site:

http://parentingteens.bizcalcs.com/Calculator.asp?...

what's my next step i dont know what to do ive been hiding everything for the past 3 yrs and i cant talk to my parents because ive tried hinting but they dont get it and we arent close and don't get along and frankly most of my suicidal thoughts stem from them making me feel bad or making my special days all about them

my parents got in a fight over where to park on the day of my middle school graduation and then when the other person walked away they procceded to complain about the other person to me and they didnt even try to make i special and sometimes it feels like they only care about themselves or my brother, its sad to think that 3yrs later the most signifigant thing i remember is that it was the first day i considered killing myself just to get away from them and everything else

my mom would make a big deal if i didnt go to homecoming or prom and yet she wont help me curl my hair when i ask and refuses to buy me a dress or shoes and if she takes me she makes me pay for it out of my college money and im always being told how im not smart enough to go to college or that i dont try hard enough and yet when i get good grades or a good score on i test i tell them was really hard they dont even give a sh*t, yet they complain if a get bad grades and wont leave me the f*ck alone which is my only motivation for doing anything

im pretty sure i would feel better if i could get away from them but i dont have any family i could turn to since im not close to any of them and my friends just dont have room to let me stay with them and if i did their parents would ask a lot of questions idont want to answer

im at the point where the only reason im not dead is i dont know how much drugs to take to make sure i dont end up half dead in a hospital or mental institution

im just too stressed and im starting to fall behind again in school and im not sure ill be able to catch up and in the last yr ive only asked my parents for 3 things (granded they are big but i havent asked them for anything except clothes in a long time): to go on this school trip to costa rica of which i was going to pay for at least half of it or more and most of the rest would have been fundrasising and academic scholorships but they wouldnt let me go because of the money(which pisses me off cuz i basically was working my *** off so they only had yo pay the 99$ deposit)(im not being selfish or greedy we have a good steady income with money to spare they just hardly ever spend any on me and they wont even buy my clothes anymore)(they bought a new big screen tv for their upstairs tv room and surround sound and stuff a few yrs ago), also i wanted color contacts since i dyed my hair and the color makes my eyes look dark i wanted to try a different color(again im paying) but the wont even stop for a few seconds to make me an eye appointment, and i wanted my belly button pierced and ive tried not to push bit i asked almost 4/5 months ago and still havent gotten an aswer so i hint and finaly i came out and asked my dad what he had decided(cuz my mom wasnt really apposed) and he said no cuz he didnt want me to act like more of a slut

im not a slut but does he know how that makes me feel when he says that that he really thinks thats the person i am when i dont even act like that at all

sorry venting it all out

i would go to a therapist but i wont talk to my parents about any of this and im pretty sure i also need doctor/parent permission for antidepressants