from a man view, is this normal or could he turn abusive. Men I need you help here, I do not want to get hurt?

This is classic controlling behavior, and you would do well to ease out of this relationship.

To say it would definitely escalate to full-scale physical abuse would be dishonest, but is it ENTIRELY possible? Absolutely. But that's just a possibility. Let's look at what we already know for a fact:

1. He doesn't want to listen to your perspective on problems. Do you want to spend the rest of your life being wrong? Do want to spend the rest of your life having no say in the direction it's heading? Do you want to be a "silent partner" in your marriage, standing in the corner while your "man" does all the talking? Do you want to be a child to your husband, instead of his partner?

If these things don't appeal to you, you better seriously reconsider staying with this man. Trust me, you will become very frustrated not being able to talk about your problems with the person who is supposed to be the second most important person in your life (the MOST important being YOU). A relationship between two adults requires respect and communication. All the time. Not just after he cools down and want to placate you with smooth words. You deserve to be respected as a person with ideas and a unique point of view. Right or wrong, you deserve to be heard by someone who claims to love you. I've been there, and it is frustrating and you will start to become angry yourself, and you do not want to live like that.

2. He hits stuff. This is not NECESSARILY an indication of future physical violence, but it is indicative of a lack of self-control and anger management issues. First of all, it's stupid because he could (and has) hurt himself. In future, he could damage property, which could also hurt you, and would cost time and money to replace.

And honestly, I hate to generalize, but these things tend to escalate. See, when a guy gets away with this stuff, and/or sees a positive reaction to it (such as fear in your eyes, and you shutting up basically), it encourage him on a subconscious level. He will do it again, because essentially, it worked. And if breaking a mirror or hitting a bedpost worked, well...

What else can I hit?

3. He wants to control who your friends are. See there's one thing all men understand: our girlfriends/wives friends are jerks. That's their job. To get together and be jerks. Just like us with our jerks friends. So the normal man just accepts this and assumes our significant other is strong enough to not be overly influence by their retarded friends. Because we respect them and love them. They are adults and not a child.

The controlling man does not understand this. He want to be "Number ONE" He wants to be the only influence in your life, and is threatened by anything else. He will slowly excise these outside influences until there is no on left. So if you like having friends, you might want to consider leaving this relationship before this starts, and while you have a support system (friends, family ) that can help you.

4. Keeping tabs on you. The average man is GLAD when a woman is active and has stuff to do. It give us more time to be active and have something to do. So when we get together, hey!, we've got lots of stuff to talk about. We may check in occasionally, but that's just to see what's up for later (you making dinner? when will we meet? you having fun?)

We do not check up on each other like we are children at the amusement park. We do not chastise adults because they are busy being adults and can't call us every five minutes. We TRUST our PARTNERS.

The controlling man (or to be fair woman) is constantly worried about losing that control. It eats at their fragile psyche. They must know where their property is at ALL TIMES. And they must approve of what they are doing.

If you don't want to be controlled like a wind up toy, get out. If you want to have an existence when this guy is not around, get out. Things will probably only get worse.

I could go on but.... was that answer long enough?

Hope I helped

He fits the profile just on his actions alone.1- Gets violent when upset.

2- Always texting you. He's always checking up on you.( What would happened if you didn't respond?) 3- Doesn't like your friends. Most abusers/control freaks want their mates to be isolated.4- You may feel like a queen when he plans fun trips, but this could also be a sign of a dominating/controlling nature.

I'd be careful with this guy. I think if you agreed to marriage, he'd be beating on you before the honeymoon was over.( Aren't there Lifetime movies about this?) Abusers/control freaks feel marriage makes their mates their property. I'd bet, if you keep deflecting or saying no to his marriage proposal, he'd leave you for an easier victim.

Take a real hard look at your relationship so far. It sounds to me he's laying the groundwork to justify him beating you.Does he bring up how he does so much for you when you argue? Does he try to make you feel like you owe him something or you have to do more or try harder to please him/ pay him back?

I think there's two things you should do. YOU plan more trips with your friends and family and invite him along.( I bet he won't go, but this will establish your right to keep your friends and own life). And tell him straight out you're afraid he may be on the verge of abusive. If he is such a good guy then he may consider what you say and discuss it further. But, I think he'll probaly start leaving you alone more.

Well there are a few red flags going up here. One is that he is obsessive and controlling. Are you going to want to live your life "reporting" to him about where you are and who you're with all the time? Controlling. Obsessive. Not good. Also, in any regard of the fights, he sounds like he needs anger counseling.

I am not suggesting that you completely abolish this relationship but the red flags are enough that SOMETHING needs to be done. This is not a good situation and if it does not change, I feel you will suffer in the long run and get yourself into an even MORE troubling circumstance.

JFC! What kind of love relationship is this?

It takes a strong woman to handle a strong man and vice versa. Most mililtary guys/husbands that I know are very difficult to get thru.

I have a former Marine nephew and his wife former Army really get into wwiii at home all the time. They are constantly fighting like hell, yet they never leave each other. Weird couple.

It seems to me that you and he are not all that compatible. He needs a woman who is a little more controllable than you are. He wants to be the boss, and if you want to be the boss, too, it won't work out. There are things about your personality that are obviously frustrating him. And there are things about his personality that are obviously frustrating you. People can change small things about themselves like bad habits, but you can not change personalities. Obvioulsy, he has gotten violent, I don;t know if he will get violent with YOU, but why stay in a relationship that make the both of you so unhappy? It is no way to live if you are living in fear, and it is no way for him to live if he constantly feels that he is on the verge of losing control.

You obviously already know the answer. The more time you waste with him, the more time you've taken away from meeting someone you really get along with, or even just time enjoying a single life. He's controlling, and abusive, and the first time he hits you he's going to say, "I was aiming at the wall, bedpost, etc. Please forgive me!" If you do, without a doubt, he'll miss again.

He's a control freak, and from what you say his actions are when he get mad, it won't be long before he turns on you. He needs anger management classes. You need to walk away. It's an abusive relationship, and only a matter of time before he turns his anger on you and you become the bedpost. Listen to your inner voice, leave while you can.

Do I think he could turn abusive? Yes.

Regardless...if you are dating someone and they have behaviors that are red flags to you...pay attention to them, cut your losses and get out. Do you really think you should get married to someone for the rest of your life to someone you feel apathetic about?

You need to have the highest standards for your future husband. Therefore have very high standards for your boyfriend. Because...do you want to have in your home for the rest of your life someone who hits the walls and physically shakes when he is angry? If you stay with him, that is what you will have.

Do you want to have in your home for the rest of your life, someone who gets irate if you are 5 minutes late? If you marry him, this is what you will have.

Do you want to have in your home for the rest of your life, someone who micromanages you and your friendships? If you marry him, this is what you will have.

I'm sure the two of you love each other. But is this what you want to deal with every day for the next 60 years?

And this my friends is why the divorce rate is as high as it it. People stop evaluating their relationships logically and ignore red flags because the orgasms are amazing. Our grandmothers had long-lasting happy marriages because they didn't put up with bull sh!t.

he sounds like a control freak,so you really need to be careful.i really feel that things could get worst.i suggest that you leave him,before things get worst.a relationship is 50/50 and he's not allowing you to have any say.it either his way or no way.take care..Bill

you are the only one know the answer ..

from your words I feel this man is good but you should put some common rules for both of you to ignore fights and solve problems in the right way :-)

Good Luck !!