elderly parents living in mice infested home & won't let us help them. who should we contact?

This is drastic, but I think they may need to have a court ordered power of attorney in charge of their affairs.

Generally, it's a close family member that applies for the position.

Then, you control the money and the bills.

But, the rodents have to be dealt with immediately!

What's the chance that you can get them out of the house for a day?

Take a cleaning crew in and work your butts off.

This sounds like it could possibly be a dementia problem. If your parents have a family doctor, you should contact him or her right away, and discuss this with them. They have the necessary authority to do what is right in this instance. Additionally, the family doctor may be someone your parents trust to an extent given sounds like there is some paranoia here given how you have phrased your story. Call their doctor and the two of you need to sit down for a talk. Document everything and take pictures if you can, to show the doctor. The second possibility if no one is doing much is to make an appointment with a local justice of the peace and tell him or her your extreme worries about your parents and they are not competent to take care of themselves, the justice may agree and ask that they be examined by a mental health professional.

This must be very hard, however the main thing is, if your parents are deemed competent, there is not a lot you can do, they have the right to live as they choose, albeit not the most pleasant. The information you have provided seems to point towards some form of dementia, however your problem is currently a legal one.in obtaining assistance if your parents are not agreeable. From the information you provided you have attempted several avenues and not much help provided.

You need to talk to their doctor or a medical professional in order to try and get something done. Whatever happens, this is not easy, and your parents will probably feel more estranged than before, but you are doing what is best.

Good luck, I feel for you.

This is what is known as being a hoarder which is actually a mental illness much like OCD. As people get older sometimes this tendancy gets worse and can be accompanied by some dementia. This is very difficult. You can clean out the whole house, but it will be full again next year. I work with hoarders all the time and we do have a mental healh suppor group in our town run by Dr Alex Pollard. However, the success rate is very low. Usually what happens is that the city is called, the home is condemned due to being a health hazzard and the older people are moved to senior apartments. The apartments are smaller so there is less tendancy to hoard but they do have to be frequently monitored or things will pile up even then. During the whole process you will have to deal with their anxiety and anger. They are in danger healthwise from the mice so I would suggest that you call your state hot liine and get a state social worker involved to help you through this process. If she feels they are in danger, she will insist that they let her in and use the police if necessary. She can also suggest that they be hospitalized for a psychiatric hold or with their doctors help medical observation for a few days which will give you time to make the move.

Seems to me if this occurred here in the city I live in the county would be notified and they would send in someone to help them either while they were in the hospital or they would be sent to some kind of nursing home or alf. Seems they have dementia and can't handle themselves anymore and need forced intervention. If you also lived in their county and since you knew of it and didn't do anything (force them in one way or other to get the matter solved) that you would be jailed, seriously you would. Call the county commissioner's office in your parents area and ask them what to do. Then be ready to talk with someone from the county who could find them a place to live. You should figure on helping clean up the house to sell it since they can no longer take care of it or themselves.

I've worked for health care agencies and have run into that kind of problem 2 times there and 2 other times (once with my friend's mother and the other with an elderly gentleman I was assisting). So I know what a place looks like when it's full of bugs. When they have gone from the home you'll have to set mouse traps and foggers and then maybe even some roach houses (by Raid) and then shovel the mess into bags and haul that out to the trash and then clean it all up, paint it and put new rug in there and then sell it when either getting their signature or if they aren't competent then get the judge to let you sign for them and you'd be responsible for them, their past bills and such. People seem to be fine as elders till they get sick and then things go downhill fast.

Pinky-please have some compassion for the Questioner (and no, I did not give you "thumbs down".) It's not "disgusting crap." Questioner posted because they'd like some suggestions/advice. It's a very sad, yet treatable condition, more common than you think, some family members can't be bothered, and can happen to anyone-even to a member of your own family. No one's immune.

That said - Sorry to hear this. Sounds like your parents are Hoarders, and their ill health only compounded the problem. They've also created a health hazard.

Either you'll have to just overlook their complaints and clean out the place (be prepared that it may be traumatic for them), or look into Adult Protective Services in your state. It's for their own good.

You're lucky you've got your sister to help. My mother was a hoarder, minus the rats, and I'm an Only. She refused to let me get help. It got to the point where it was overwhelming and a hazard to her well being. If it weren't for my husband who helped to clean out her place, against her objections and stubborness, then finally agreeing to let Adult Protective clear out the rest, I don't know what I would have done-except let the state take over and stick her in a nursing home.

I hope all will work out in your favor. Good luck.

The situation you describe is far more common than you might think. It isn't easy to figure out when to force action and when to allow our older family members to reject offers of help. It does seem like it is time to take some definitive action; their home is a health hazard, and they are not keeping up with paying their bills.

You could contact Adult Protective Services from your State; what you are describing is a form of self-neglect. Another option would be to contact your local area agency on aging; and ask for a case manager to work with you; evaluate the situation, and offer advice on what can be done. I suggest you also contact an attorney who specializes in elder law to discuss whether or not you could obtain guardianship to ensure the house is cleaned and bills are paid.

I think you'll make better progress if you get some support from professionals who have dealt with similar situations. The links I'm posting below will help you find your local resources:

Eldercare Locator

http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare.NET/Public/Home...

National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys

http://www.naela.org/

You just go in and do it, they arent in sound mental health, think of them as now your children, because that is how its going to be. You dont ask a child to clean the house, and take care of rodents etc.

They are so confused they wouldnt even know HOW to do it or what to do.or where to begin. The mental ability to organize a cleanup like this is no longer there.

On the weekend you get your SO's if you have one, or enlist friends and perhaps a few people from your church and you remove your parents from the house, take them an adult day centre for the day.

Then you throw out all the garbage, you may be able to find someone with a pick up truck to help with that, throw out all the food, and you scrub and clean, then you exterminate --

Then you find out about programs for elder care and see if someone can come into the house perhaps daily to do some housework,and cook or you get meals on wheels, because you can be sure they arent eating properly.

You talk to their Dr. about their mental health and well being - they are probably not taking medications they should be, not even getting them filled.Take them both for a full physical check up and have the Dr write out something saying they are no longer competent

And you start handling their finances, paying bills etc. You get a POA so you can do this. If necessary you have them declared incompetent - as simple as trotting them off to your lawyer in some cases.

What you DONT do is ask for their cooperation or participation. Its gone too far for that, they arent capable anymore. Its a hard place to find yourself in but most people with elderly parents come to this same place and have to take over their lives and affairs.

Good luck

It is beyond the time for you & your sis to Ask & Hope your parents will act in their own behalf. The feeling of helpless as their children has to be put aside and You must do the unthinkable - You must act for your parents. They may even hate you for it. They will not even appreciate your intervention. The breakdown in their abilities to make decisions has reached a point of overwhelm. You may have been unconsciously aware but I dont think it was a total surprise.

You will need to act rather than have someone else take charge. Do you have a general power of attorney for your parents? Do you have a medical power of attorney? A financial power of attorney? These are forms available at most stationary stores that once signed by your folks and witnessed by non-relative friends should allow you to act in their behalf. Also talk to an attorney at a Senior Ctr for advice.. No one here has the answers for you but you have our permission to act for your folks. It will not be easy. Some of us have similar situations w/aged parents.

Call an exterminator and get an appointment to have the mouse problem taken off. I they are behind on everything they must be having money problems, low income apartment may be the answer for them Try to settle this in the family first. Tell them if they won't let you help them you will have to call someone and you know they don't want that. Make sure they understand you want to help them and not control their life. At this age independence is all they have left.Treat them as you would want to be treated.

Can you offer to take them out for an outing for the day while the team of cleaners is there to get stuff out of the house. Don't know what you'll do with all the boxes but doing nothing is not the answer. Have a plan and have a plan B and C. Don't give up, they didn't on you.