When should I come out?

Question

Hi, I am a middle schooler right smack dab in Mormon, super religious, homophobic Salt Lake City.  Oh ya, I'm gay.  Only a few people know.  My mom, my two best friends (one is a bisexual girl and one is a straight, atheist male), and a couple of my mom's accepting friends.  However, my other friends are the typical straight males.  They commonly say "that's gay" and "f a g" and I once asked them what they would do if they found out one of their friends was gay, and they all said they would ignore him forever.  Anyway, I don't want to go throughout high school not dating because of my sexuality.  I won't to go to Homecoming and Prom and all that, but not with a girl.  Should I tell my peers I'm gay?  Would that be a mistake?  It's so hard.  All of my friends will be dating, and I'll just be some creep who won't go out with anybody.  Plus, there are a few people that are obviously gay who are really cute that I might want to hook up with.  What should I do?

natashav2003 · Accepted Answer

aw, honey...only you can answer this question.considering your location and the strong mormon beliefs, im sure that if you come out now that you will lose a few of those homo-phobe friends and will surely face harsh ridicule from the ignorant...but....that could happen whether you come out now or 10 yrs from now. i don't know you personally but if you act feminine then chances are that your friends and family may already have an idea. so again, its completely up to you but just remember this...no matter what the crazy bible thumpers may throw at you....GOD created all of us and loves us regardless.

Circean Goddess · Answer

First, I'd expand my circle of friends. Focus on making new, accepting friends first. Maybe most people are religious conservatives there, but there will probably be some people who are not. After you know for sure you've got a support system in place, come out. You'll know when it's time.

Cloud · Answer

Don't rush your life. Come out only if and when YOU are ready to, and not for anyone else. 

And maybe start making new friends, before these teach you to hate yourself.

Take care and I'm really glad you've got your mom and your best friends.

kalyn · Answer

One question for you, are you afraid of being who you are?

first of all i am absolutely straight. we have some gay guys in our school and they totally came out of the closet. they are cool and ppl like them, so their sexuality is not a problem. u know what's funny, this guy at my school is so hot and everything, but he's gay. we frequently go, be nice if he wasn't gay! really. 

so back to ur question, u should expect ur peers' reaction before u tell them. it's just that, again, ru afraid of being who you are?

Anonymous · Answer

Do what your heart tells you...I know that sounds corny, but right now I feel like collapsing into a sob-fest because I feel so alone. (I'm a guy, alright? Got that out of the way...and bi. I would date you, but yeh, sorry, that's kinda weird...heheh) But, believe me, there are things that you could find attractive that are WAY worse in the public eye...again, believe me, I should know...I've learned to be very secretive, I live in the smallest town ever, around a bunch of bible-thumpers (no offense, churchies...whoops, sorry! :(  ) Yeh, so, just do what you think would work...I don't know what else to tell you.

~Kora, Peace Out!

Six T 9 lover · Answer

Maybe in your environment it may be best to keep things the way they are, yes will not be easy but you have to think of yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

When you feel you are ready

Sukuyan Slickarblod · Answer

When you feel you are ready

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When should I come out?

8 Answers