is this a good monologue so far?

You know that feeling when it feels like there is no purpose? No reason to do anything. Almost like you do something and say, what the hell is the point of this why am I doing this? Why am I trying to get into college? Why do I need a job? We are all just going to die anyways. What makes a heart break? Why do we have feelings? And do you think we would have feelings if we were brought up not knowing what they are? Is it all a state of mind? I don’t know but I think these feelings are finally starting to shock my parents. Maybe that’s why I am sitting here in this hospital bed. I feel completely normal though. Why would they put me here if I’m so normal? What IS normal? All of these weighing thoughts in my head started occurring about two months ago. Right after that night at Central Avenue.