when you know you are dying and want to talk about it why wont your family talk?

Very good responses. I'm wondering that perhaps it has nothing to do with me at all but the fact that each of them might have even thought about their own future and since they are only in their 40's and healthy the fact that life is terminal hasn't yet been something to consider even remotely? They reacted the same as each of their grandparents died. I find I am afraid for my children and not at all for myself.

Emma; I think a party just might be the best thing. The holiday season is rapidly approaching. Well if I arrange it now sort of an Irish Wake idea with the food and music and family all together while I'm still here it might just work. I'll be thinking about that because I like that.

Cee; I sure do not want anyone crying over me. I have never seen any point of crying over the deceased. My point of view, of course, must be slanted because of the privilege I had being with my own Grandmother as she died and I was a child, My Father when he died, I was with him, My Mother and I was with her. You see, they were beautiful and the pain left. They were at peace and were free. I want my children & grandchildren to know and feel that peace and freedom without tears and grief. As it is life is terminal and what you do with that life is up to the individual.

Well now Emma, I want to have a party but I'm simply not fit anymore. However, I have made reservations for all of us and that includes my friend of 40 yrs to join us at my favourite restaurant. I made the reservation personally (only because I want to have a splendid meal. I won't have more than a bite or two of the things I want but I will surely have them with my family). I have already told the Chateau (restaurant) what I want in "spades"...I will let my sons choose the wine/s but I intend to taste the Calamaris one or two and the fresh Fish of the day and they are about two or three ounces then hopefully some Coconut Shrimp, one or two and then a taste of fresh Alaska King Crab with lots of butter. Being diabetic I never can have these tasty bites. Now I will. They can all have whatever they want and indulge and that includes my grandchildren (who will probably ask for mac & cheese or chicken fingers).

For me and being totally selfish about this. My last supper with my family. I adore them all. I've arranged for 3 weeks from now to give them time to ensure they can all be there. I should be OK for another month or so. In any event, I wouldn't have changed anything. It's been grand and thank you for your input.