My son's girlfriend - tips on Filipino culture??? We're TRYING to understand and not doing so well...?

Question

Our son is deeply in love w/a girl from Hawaii, of Filipino descent (1st Gen....that is, her parents moved here from there). She's now going to a local university to be near our son, but there are SO many things we don't get, such as her reticence to speak to adults (which she says she was raised to do???) 

To be fair to her, (and we DO see her as part of the family), we would like some insights into how she might have been raised. For instance: tho'  she was taught to "respect" adults no matter what, her own family sems to be a mess (perpetually drunk--she says she hates them and her own mother raised her not to trust ANYONE!). 

WTF??? Any insights would be appreciated! (BTW...she and our son are both 19 and PLEASE don't respond if you're gonna say "Let them  go  on their own"...we're NOT built for that!...Not yet anyway).

jateef · Accepted Answer

I think she might be ashamed of her family, and is afraid to let that show, so perhaps she is just avoiding the whole situation.

It's possible, though, that her behavior around you doesn't have as much to do with her Filipino culture, as it does with her (what you describe as) dysfunctional history.

But if you do want to learn more about the Filipino culture, here is an interesting link with one Filipino's observations on the culture:
http://www.livinginthephilippines.com/philculture/

Anonymous · Answer

The same way you understand any other culture: by living in it, and experiencing it first hand. There are many points of Filipino culture that stand out once you leave the Philippines. And although the Philippines does contain quite a few races, it is nowhere near as ethnically and religiously diverse as Canada or the United States.

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My son's girlfriend - tips on Filipino culture??? We're TRYING to understand and not doing so well...?

2 Answers