How many calories should a 4 year old have in a day?

I understand that you have weight insecurities and worry about her gaining too much, but her height and weight are proportionate. Not only is her weight on the heavy side for her age, her height is too, which means that her weight is probably perfect for her height. She's a little girl who is growing taller, running around and being active, and she will gain weight as she grows taller. That's what's supposed to happen. As long as her height and weight percentiles are close, she's not fat or anything negative like that.

If you're concerned about her weight, just get rid of all of the unhealthy foods. Keep your chips stashed away so she doesn't know you have them, and buy real cheese instead of the fake stuff in a box. As long as all of the food she is being offered is healthy, she will be fine. So what if she's still hungry? Giving her a piece of fruit or slice of good cheese or a salad or carrot sticks is just fine. This may also be a way for you to see whether she is truly hungry or just wanting to munch on some junk food (kids will eat pretty much as much junk food as you let them, regardless of hunger).

You might also want to consider whether she has any food insecurities, where she thinks that she might not have enough food later. Do you only let her eat at meal times, or is she offered snacks between? If, for some reason, she feels like you're going to limit how much food she can eat, she might fight harder to eat more because next time she's hungry she might not be given enough to eat. If you think that's the case, make it clear to her that she can eat as much as she needs and that you'll always feed her (just make those healthy foods instead of junk).

Edit: Oops. I forgot to actually answer about how many calories and whatnot they need. 4-6 year olds need about 1800 calories per day (some sedentary adults need less than this). Her body is growing rapidly, and she is probably pretty active. She needs nutrient dense foods and lots of calories because of that. It's actually pretty normal for her to eat more than you if you're caloric needs are lower. That's okay. She's growing; you're not.

http://www.faqs.org/nutrition/Pre-Sma/Preschoolers...

my daughter is 16 months and she is big but i dont care how much she eats or gains cause she is very active. Give her very structured meals. like breakfast was great but when she ask's for more say no u had plenty and that in an hr or so if ur still hungry u can have a snack and then give her a cheese stick or something. then lunch then snack then dinner havening more structure is the way to do it, also move things out of her reach and if u have to put a lock in the fridge like a childproff lock. Just have to stick to what ur doing, it seems like u have the right thought process but u need the stick to it.

Sometimes kids can eat like crazy when they're about to go through a growth spurt, so that could be what's going on with her. It's your job as the parent to make healthy choices for her since she's too young to make them herself. Give her more fresh fruit and veggies to snack on rather than chips and cheez-its, lowfat yogurt is another good option that kids usually like. If you have to, put the junk out of her reach or just stop buying it. Cut out white bread and switch to whole grains. These are some simple things you can do to prevent her becoming overweight while still getting proper nutrition.