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Kim 2
Lv 5
Kim 2 asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

Christmas Party Etiquette?

My husband and I are having our first Christmas party in 12 years.

9 people will be attending, all his relatives (mine have all passed away).

I have a feeling that one of his sisters, who is known to be very difficult, very negative and disagreeable may cause some problems.

Specifically, I think she'll want to watch television, which we do not plan to have on (we will have music playing instead).

Also, we have a downstairs family room which also has a television and based on her always hiding at other family parties (yes, she actually hides away in another room), I think she'll try and do the same at our house and I'll have to continually go and get her because the party is being held in the upstairs living room.

Also, I know she'll have a problem with the food and ask that we order her something different or something along those lines.

Not inviting her is not an option, unfortunately. My husband's family travels in a pack.

I know I'll have hours of her eye rolls and sighs and complaints about EVERYTHING but how do I handle it if the things I just mentioned come up?

Any ideas on what I can say to her? I don't want to cause a scene, be rude or have anyone (including me) be upset at a party.

She's 51 years old by the way.

Update:

The problem with her hiding downstairs is that we'll be having a Christmas grab bag, serving food (snacks, appetizers and a sit down dinner) and I'll be giving out personalized gift bags to each person as well so (as much as I'd love it if she disappeared) she has to be with everyone else or I'll be running up and down the stairs all night to get her for each thing which is not something I'll be able to do while hosting a party.

Unfortunately, there's no door I can lock to keep her from going downstairs. :(

9 Answers

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  • BBG
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I can totally see why you don't want a TV on in the living room/party area. I would suggest either removing it to your bedroom or if it's too big, unplug it and tape a small "out of order" sign on it.

    As far as her disappearing to the basement....who cares? She is a pain in the rear anyways...let her disappear and just pretend she didn't show up. That is a win-win, right?

    If she complains about the food and wants something ordered for her, I'd simply say, "I'm sorry you didn't find something that appeals to you. I'd be happy to get you a phone book if you'd like to order something for yourself." And let her take care of it and pay.

    She's rude - but you're going to play the "good hostess" role (within reason) and don't let her foul attitude ruin the party. You just have to adjust your expectations a bit. Don't be surprised when the gorilla eats bananas if you know what I mean. :-)

    Have a great party!

    ETA: I am starting to get the feeling that you are someone who demands all the attention and doesn't really want to "solve" this problem. As EVERYONE has said, just let her hide downstairs. A simple shout-out down the stairs for dinner if she wants to join will suffice. If she misses elements of the party, so be it. It will reflect on her, not you. Just let it go already!!!!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Whoa, does she have and kids? Because she might be my mom. JK my mom is not that bad. I do have relatives. especially the men, who think they can come to my home and watch what they want to watch. i un plug the TV, and i put a decoration on the Screen. If they don't get the Hint then they have had way to much Eggnog.

    As for her being rude and huffing and puffing in your home, that is totally unacceptable, and its something that your husband might need to talk to her about, or the other members in your family. Odds are the family is turning a blind eye to her rude behavior. If she does not like your food, drinks, decoration, company, kill her with kindness. Let her know how sorry you are that she is not having a good time and everyone else is. Then ignore her.

    Wow interesting question, aren't the holidays fun?

  • 1 decade ago

    Oh boy....I guess there's one in every family, huh?

    Since you seem to know her typical behavior, honestly I would just ignore that kind of childishness. If she has a problem with the food, you can make her a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches :-) If she is going to act childish then you can treat her like a child :-) Okay I am just kidding (although that would be hilarious).

    In all seriousness, if she does choose to go downstairs, I would just ignore it. Maybe she gets overwhelmed with all of the social stimulation, you never know. Or maybe she's just downright bored.

    I think you can still have a nice time, I would be genuinely nice to her and try to be as understanding as you can.

    Good luck with that :-)

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    No, it relatively is not a "bit too plenty" in any respect. in basic terms because you opt to grant each thing once you throw a party would not advise it is how others pick to throw a party. The sweater opposition is a potential of entertainment - the thank you to function to the ambience and relaxing. in case you do no longer pick to locate a sweater, then do no longer, yet you're in basic terms in basic terms going to look to all people else as in case you think of you're too stable to play their activity (no be counted if or no longer you easily think of that - even with the undeniable fact that it does seem such as you do). with regard to the foodstuff and drink, the invitation mentioned they'll grant beer and wine. it is your decision in case you opt to hold some thing else, yet they could desire to no longer could desire to cater to all people else's alternatives. And potlucks are particularly basic those days. it relatively is a manner for each guy or woman to make contributions to the evening and make it look extra like an in depth amassing somewhat than a suited affair. some thing to bear in mind - this could nicely be a party you will, no longer some thing to nit %. and be ungrateful approximately. you're asked to hold 2 issues - a sweater for entertainment and a dish. it relatively is not too plenty. returned, the form you opt to throw a party is your perogative. And it relatively is not appropriate how plenty human beings make and what they could arise with the money for - in the event that they do no longer pick to purchase your liquor, they do no longer could desire to.

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  • L
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I'm not sure what the problem is... Bottom line, she's weird and difficult. Let her hang out by herself downstairs and don't include her in any of the festivities upstairs. Problem solved.

  • 1 decade ago

    I hate having to hand hold people like your sister in law. If she feels like going downstairs and ordering a pizza, let her. At least you won't have to deal with "...hours of her eye rolls and sighs and complaints about EVERYTHING." as you say.

  • 1 decade ago

    clean off the couch down there! BE that good hostess!

    Unless you want to totally alienate her. In this case you would turn the entire area into storage but leave only not enough room for her to watch television. If she chooses to stay down there, she will wallow in her own misery.

  • 1 decade ago

    You arte prepared, invite her, and if she wants to skulk around watching TV instead of being part of the party let her. It is her loss not yours. Also her complaining about food will not reflect on you as all the family are aware of her ways.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'd send her to the basement to watch TV...Problem solved. Maybe even pick up a few movies for her to watch.

    Maybe she has anxiety issues or something and doesn't really want to be there. Ignore her as best you can.

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