Kim 2

I've suffered with Stage III Hidradenitis Suppurativa for 6 years. I've seen many Dermatologists & was sent to a Plastic Surgeon. I've had wide excision axillary surgery & follow-up skin graft & wide excision abdominal surgery & suture follow-up. I have HS bilaterally on my groin & inner thighs-extensive tunneling & flare-ups and need further surgery there. Unfortunately, the groin area is beyond the level of expertise of the plastic surgeon who performed my prior surgeries. The pain is constant, excruciating & debilitating. I need a local plastic surgeon with experience in doing excisions of areas affected by HS. I live in Westchester County, NY.

Serious replies only, please.

My 10 year old spayed Maine Coon cat has started hiding and slinking around this morning, she did not wake us up at dawn for her morning meal, she does not want to be touched. She pooped yesterday, not yet today, but her urine was fine from today, no smell, no blood. She has had hernia surgery 4 and 1/2 years ago but has been perfect in every Vet visit since, the last one being her annual this past January.

Does anyone have any idea why she is acting like this? It seems she can walk so it's not a limb injury....she slinked all the way up two flights of stairs and then hid under the bed when I tried to get her out of her little kitty alcove.

Also, her pupils look dilated (is this from fear or pain or both?) and she has cried loudly three times. Although she's usually vocal (she is a Maine Coon) this sounded like painful cries to me. I know she is in pain. She is wagging her tail like she usually does, though. She has been eating and drinking fine as of yesterday.

Could it be a urinary tract infection? Or blocked anal glands? She won't let me look under her tail (which we normally do to check that she is clean, etc.)

Does anyone have any advice? Should I see our Vet today? I'm very concerned and need help, please. Thank you so much. Serious answers only, please. I'm just so frightened.

Molly's Mommy

I had a routine pap test done on 3/11 and have been awaiting the results in the mail.

Today I got a call that the results are inconclusive because "not enough cells were taken during the test" (meaning that it was the doctors fault) and they wanted me to come in and take the test again.

The two people I spoke with on the phone made it sound like this was something that happened there all the time.

I've never been called back to re-take a pap test. Now I don't feel confident in going back to this doctor and, if I do, they won't even give me an appt. for another 2 weeks! That'll be at least 6 weeks all told to wait for a pap result and I think they should have me come in asap to do this test again, not wait.

Has anyone else ever had this experience?

Our Godson, who is going to be 17, has never given us so much as a card although we give his Mother (my husband's sister) a gift and usually flowers on Mother's Day.

My friend and her husband, who have a few God Children, just told me that they both receive something every year from each of them on Mother's and Father's Day (cards and gifts) so I was wondering if that is considered the norm?

I'm not looking for gifts, just wondering if it's something most people do.

Serious answers only, please.

My in-laws have had a batch in their fridge for almost 2 weeks. The cabbage is stuffed with ground beef, cooked rice, onions, shallots and raw eggs.

Based on personal experience and what I've read online, stuffed cabbage only lasts 3-4 days in the fridge before it starts to go bad. My in-laws are still planning on eating theirs.

Does anyone know if it is still safe to eat after almost 2 weeks in the fridge or will they get sick from doing so?

I'd say to throw it out.

Does anyone else have any experience with eating this after it being in the fridge for so long?

Every time my husband and I go to family gathering, we're stuck with bringing home his sister. It goes one of three ways:

1. She asks for a ride home.

2. Her mom asks my husband for her.

3. She just goes outside with us and gets in the car when we're leaving (whether she was going to leave at the same time or not).

Now, she gets to these get togethers by herself, so my question is why can't she get home by herself?

Case in point. This Thanksgiving - my husband's mother asked him to drive his sister home despite the fact that they know that where his sister lives is in the total opposite direction than we need to go. It was also pouring rain which made the traffic much worse. It took over a half hour to get her home then 90 minutes more for us to get home.

We wouldn't mind so much if she wasn't such an incredibly negative and complaining person. She will literally scream and whine the entire time she's in the car because she's just always full of rage and hate. I get a headache every time I'm even near her.

We live the farthest from everyone else who all live in the same town as she does and can easily drive her but we're the ones always having to do so. My husband can't say no to his mother but this has gone on for many years now and I'm sick of it. It always causes fights between my husband and I.

Do I just tell her in advance that we won't be able to take her home?

Make up an excuse that we have somewhere else to go on the way home?

We've got a family Christmas party in a few weeks and I'm just dreading it.

Does anyone have any advise on this? (She's 52 years old).

Only serious answers, please.

If you are told that you had to re-take the urine test as it came back tainted with bacteria could that mean that the person's sample showed that they took or were taking drugs? If so, what kind of drugs might show up that way?

I'm concerned because this is regarding my teenaged nephew and I've never heard of a urine test that had to be taken again because the original one was "tainted with bacteria."

Serious answers only, please. Thank you.

My mother passed away almost 2 years ago and left about $150 in a bank account. The money is still there and I was wondering what I could or should do with it?

Do I need to close this account and if so, what happens to the $150? Does it go into her "estate"? I have power of attorney on the account so do I legally have the right to withdraw the money?

I would like to do that and donate the money to her favorite charity.

So far I have not touched the money because I don't know if I'm even allowed to do so or what I can or cannot do. Is the first step to contact the bank?

If anyone can give me any information, I would be most grateful.

Serious answers only, please.

Thank you.

My husband and I are having our first Christmas party in 12 years.

9 people will be attending, all his relatives (mine have all passed away).

I have a feeling that one of his sisters, who is known to be very difficult, very negative and disagreeable may cause some problems.

Specifically, I think she'll want to watch television, which we do not plan to have on (we will have music playing instead).

Also, we have a downstairs family room which also has a television and based on her always hiding at other family parties (yes, she actually hides away in another room), I think she'll try and do the same at our house and I'll have to continually go and get her because the party is being held in the upstairs living room.

Also, I know she'll have a problem with the food and ask that we order her something different or something along those lines.

Not inviting her is not an option, unfortunately. My husband's family travels in a pack.

I know I'll have hours of her eye rolls and sighs and complaints about EVERYTHING but how do I handle it if the things I just mentioned come up?

Any ideas on what I can say to her? I don't want to cause a scene, be rude or have anyone (including me) be upset at a party.

She's 51 years old by the way.

My friend had a baby boy in Sept. and I sent her a gift then, which she loved.

She did not have a baby shower (this was her third child - all boys).

The baby's christening is scheduled for around Thanksgiving weekend. I've already expressed our disappointment that we will be unable to attend because we have plans to travel that same day.

My question is, even though I've already send a gift and cannot attend the christening, do I still need to send another gift?

My husband's cousin is getting married in July. She's already had an engagement party (with gifts expected) last April and I just got her inviation to her bridal shower this coming April.

My husband and I aren't particularly close to his cousin and only see each other on rare, family get togethers.

We did not attend the engagement party last year as my mother died just days before and we weren't planning on attending the bridal shower as it is a very far drive for us and on a Sunday which is not convenient.

I'm now being asked by everyone in the family if I will be attending the shower.

Is is alright for us to just attend the wedding like we planned?

My mother died in April and I have no other blood relatives left.

My husband has a huge family and while they called and some sent flowers and gifts shortly after she died (in one case, months later), they have never asked me how I am doing or offered any kind of support or acknowledgment of her passing.

The first time I saw everyone for a graduation party it was only weeks after I lost my mother and not one person there said anything to me, actually, they ignored the situation entirely which hurt me deeply for months afterward.

This past weekend was a family Christmas party and, again, no one I saw there since the death of my mother said a word to me about her even though the fact is that this is the first Christmas I'll be having without her.

Actually, when my mother-in-law and one of my sisters-in-law made mention of how long my hair had gotten and asked me when I cut it last I replied that the last time I cut my hair was "the week after my mom died" and they just looked away and the conversation trailed off and they very quickly changed the subject.

I know that people may think that since they don't know what to say, they won't say anything at all or they think that it bringing up the death of a loved one will make you sad but just the opposite is true. It's the not mentioning the obvious that is most painful. To me anyway.

Death is not only about the person who passed away, it is also about those left behind and when you feel like no one even notices how hard things are for you or what you may be going through, it makes it all the more difficult and painful.

I guess my question is do you think it is right to not even ask "how are you doing?" or offer a hug or kind words?

Has anyone here had a similar experience? or do you think it is proper to not say anything for fear of hurting someone?

Serious answers only, please.

We live across the street from the neighborhood know-it-all. This guy rivals Al Gore in how he views all of his "inventions and ideas."

We've been living here for 3 years. Whenver I or my husband get the mail, put out the trash, or even walk outside or inside of our home, there he comes LUNGING at us and running from across the street to talk. It's never just a "hello how are you?" but usually a mind-numbingly boring monologue that can go as long as 40 minutes. We don't have that kind of time and have been VERY polite in trying to extracate ourselves. I've gone outside with a phone in my hand with my boss on the line (I work at home) and the guy across the street (seeing the phone to my ear and that I'm having a conversation) starts SCREAMING to me to get my attention.

He also has a habit of just walking into our backyard (bringing with him other people in the neighborhood), jumping in front of our car when we're leaving, BANGING on our front door and ringing our bell.

Help

I've listed with the NY Times and local newspapers. Would ebay be worth a try?

I'm desperate for any suggestions so that I can sell my business and retire.