i need advice on the custody of my kids.?

Not being able to afford a lawyer and being in the military is not an excuse. Part of your benefits are legal assistance. And yes divorce and other family legal needs is a covered benefit.

You have serious problems. The case you defaulted on is over. You missed the boat as the military, even with the aid of the Red Cross, would have made sure you were at court. You would have been given a subpoena. The military would have honored this. You failed to go through your chain of command.

Now you are on duty in Iraq. You will either have to wait or seek a hardship discharge to fight this. You are not, at this time, prepared for a "fight" as the courts will decide against you.

--The best thing to do is set up a legal defense account and dump all the money you can into it. You "must have the support of your husband and must discuss this, all your mistakes, what you want, and formulate a plan. With his help you have the opportunity(two incomes) to do this.

--You can probably talk to Jag and get ideas. You can talk with an attorney and get an idea about what it would cost. You will have to bring this back to court. This could cost $5000.00. If an investigator is involved it could cost $10,000. An appeal could cost another $5000.00 or more. The total expense could run $20,000.

--You would need to prove that you would be the best choice for the interests of the children. This is what a court will go on. You have many other "problems" also. You are in the military, on overseas assignment, and he has custody. Even if his situation is not the best it is stable.

You have got to get stable first. This will probably require a permanent duty station. You will also have to bring it back to court in the original jurisdiction.

--As far as the family the grandparents have rights. They can file in court for visitation. This will not cost that much. Probably $1000.00 with an attorney. The children need their grandparents and family members and a court will go along with this. They can file a motion in court without an attorney and this will be a couple of hundren bucks. You need to talk to them. You should have no problem paying for this as it will be in your best interest, as well as the children.

1)- Get help. This would be from your husband, parents, and family as well as legal.

2)- Get a plan

3)- Save money

4)- Be patient

5)- Be relatively sure you have a case with merit and can win. If you do win the first time around put the rest of the money up for the children. Why not right?

6)- Get stable. This will be fundamental in the eyes of the court.

You are about(if you choose) to embark on a war. You lost a battle and have to regroup. A poorly planned or funded attack will end how?

With all this, and when you are ready, you will probably have to seek a discharge and have residence near the children. You can fight long distant but this is not a good idea.

--You made mistakes that you know were monumental and cost you. He took advantage of this and I would say had a plan.

--When you get to the point of visitation of family(can afford to and are prepared to fight) you can make an offer. Do not go into detail as sharing plans with the enemy(yours not the childrens) is never good. If you and the family are prepared to take him to court he may not want the battle.

--This would be round 1 and a victory that is deserved. You are in the military so should know that wars are usually won---one battle at a time right?

Good luck.

it relies upon on alot of issues= the decide could think of because of the fact the dad works alot how might he have time for his toddlers yet regardless of the reality that youngsters often stay with the mummy for some reason thats merely what the courts do yet while u have a sturdy criminal expert that helps alot..

You had your chance to do something but you chose your career in the army. I think it's all too little too late

You can afford one in the Army- they are appointed to you.

well !