How do I fix my marriage?

Question

For the past 2yrs now my husband & I have grown apart. I've been looking/receiving attention fr other men and have found it. I've never cheated on my hubby, although I have came close. I've been telling my husband what I nd fr. him and asking what he nds. However I feel as I'm the only one really giving. The only thing he has changed is that he calls me on his lunch. Don't get me wrong, I'm greatful but I don't think he is really trying. I.e.-I tell him I nd him to talk to me more, be my friend ya know, he in return started calling me on his lunch staying on the phone for a min or 2, and hardly saying a word. I think he looks @ it like ok I've called now you talk. I've been telling him for the past 4mo. we nd to go back to marriage counseling. He says we can go, but never does mention again. When we're @ home we hardly say anything to one another. If our baby goes to sleep before he does, then I go down stairs and do laundry while he sits upstairs and watches tv. I think I'm still love him, but to be honest I don't know. I think I sometimes stay for all the wrong reasons, but I don't want my baby to grow up in a broken home. I did, and my parents made it hell. I feel so lonely, unhappy, and empty. 
 Please someone tell me how to fix it, b/c just me talking isn't doing any good. I can't leave my job is here and I don't have any family here. Thanks, God Bless

Dutch Lady · Accepted Answer

You know, you are right. Talking isn't going to help. In fact, it's doing more harm than good. Now, if you really want to know how to fix this, here are some suggestions. You can take them or leave them, I just know that this works. First of all, you have got to leave all other men alone. Period. And don't think that you can get away with this one, because you're wrecking the structure of your marriage over this "innocent" stuff. Remember, any temptation IF NOT FED, will eventually dry up and die a natural death. Don't lie to yourself. Your wrong here.
       Next, how are you treating him. Don't give a rat's ash how he's treating you. My question is, how are you treating him. Stay with me here. Are you treating him as special as when you first met him? Getting up in the morning WITH HIM, cooking breakfast, making coffee, have it ready when he gets up? Are you making sure that his clothes is clean and ready for when he goes to work? Stick with me now. I am not meaning to be a smarty pants. I am telling you this: If you will treat him like he's the center of your universe for 1 (one) month, you can change this. Don't go thinking, "But now I have a baby to take care of." This is not the deal. Take care of that baby, sure. Every man needs to know that his babies are well taken care of. But, he married YOU. He did not give that all up just because you had a baby for crying out loud. Make sure the baby is well fed and bathed by like 6:00 P.M. or so and TAKE TIME FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP. He is your universe. Treat him that way. Make sure the home that he is working so hard to keep you in, looks like you care about it when he gets home. Make sure you look like you were looking forward to seeing him when he gets home. Make sure you are dressed and ready for him by like 8:30 P.M. Believe me, he WON'T be falling asleep on the couch very much if you would do this. Surprise him. And stick to it. And don't expect anything from him in return. Keep quiet about it and give it a month. I guarantee great results.

? · Answer

Fixed marriages last longer than love marriages because in societies where you have fixed marriage divorce is usually totally out of the question or saved for really extreme cases. In many cases fixed marriage is more of a business or a deal than what we call "marriage" in our society. Sometimes love comes later and sometimes not, but the deal is usually not meant to be broken. I personally prefer love marriage with all its disadvantages.

Zacklee · Answer

I think that's the answer in your last to words. I think you need "God" in the center of your marriage. If you was a "holy" person like you should be, you wouldn't even consider sinning.                                                                                                                                                                    Proverbs says                                                  22How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?    

 23Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you.

 24Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;

 25But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:

 26I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;

 27When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.

 28Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:

 29For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:

 30They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.

 31Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.

 32For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.

 33But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.

Gary J · Answer

Sounds like he isn't willing to do anything to save your marriage...
To me... sounds like it's time to move on...
Sorry......

some dude · Answer

you better get him to go to that counseling, seems like your last hope. seems like he's forgotten how to love you correctly.

? · Answer

SWEET MILDRED IS IN THE HOUSE...CRAWL INTO HER PLAYPEN

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How do I fix my marriage?

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