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My girlfriend's found out I cheated on her, how do I even begin to make things right?

First details of my relationship with my girlfriend (ex at present):

We live a fair few miles apart, and a few months ago the distance got too much so my gf decided to end it. We were still seeing other every couple of weekends, and would usually end up kissing or cuddling or something like that, but then visits got wider apart, and the kissing etc. stopped. I took this to mean that it properly over, and she just wanted a 'friends' thing.

Not wanting to be chasing something I couldn't have I started looking (not necessarily 'looking' but not holding myself back if the chance arose) elsewhere, and one night I met a girl and we went back to hers, etc. It was purely that, a one night stand.

After that, things got better with my ex. We still only saw each other rarely, but on the phone and online we seemed to be getting on better than before, even making a few plans for the future.

She came over at the weekend at we had an amazing time, even thought she did have to leave early, than after a phone call last she asked me outright if I'd had sex with anyone else, and because some a terrible liar I admitted it, now she says she never wants to talk to me again, I'm absolutely gutted.

She always said I should find someone else, and that'd it'd be fine if I did. I knew she couldn't really mean it, but that was part of the justification going through my mind at the time.

And now I'm at a loss, she lives miles away so its not like I've got anyway to get in touch with her apart from online and over the phone, and if she's not answering my calls/messages we're cut-off. I really want things to work with her, and now its like the future I was heading towards is crumbling away. I don't know if I should give her time to think, or strike now while the iron's hot, so to speak.

Any help gratefully appreciated

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well from your heading 'my gf found out i cheated'

    sounds to me like you thought you wouldn't be found out as she lives miles away.

    i remember going with a guy and we were going through a rough patch and he took it that we had broken up that week and got some nice love bites and came back a week later and when i saw them i told him to get lost and that was that. My feelings were oh my god were only arguing and he thinks we've broken up so takes advantage but still wants to come back to me when he thinks the going has got easier. I thought to myself hes got no b*lls and is weak at the first sign of trouble between us. I also knew in my heart that i wouldn't even kiss another guy for a good while as i loved him and thought he felt the same...obviously not if he can get a neck full of love bites so quick. he was gutted too and i was better off without

  • 1 decade ago

    First of all, she had no claim on you while you were broken up. It may make her feel awful to think that you were with someone else, but she lost her claim on you when you broke up. Either she needs to accept that and accept you, or it's just not going to work.

    Give it one last try, if you must, but it sounds like you should just move on at this point. Long distance isn't going to work unless both of you really want it to work, and it sounds like she doesn't want it.

    It's hard, but you can find something new--something that won't leave you feeling gutted.

  • 1 decade ago

    Honesty is the key to a relationship & thats good that u didnt lie but "the truth hurts" but the best thing you can do is go talk to her in person ( it shows alotin a guy, that he actually cares & is concerned) so tell her how u feel about the situation how you didnt know what was the status and how u hardly seen her....but tell her wat are your true intensions....if you really do care about her go for it before its too late!...Its normal for her to feel like that i would be real mad too but she somewat has fault for not laying things straight out for you & not letting you know wat was she expecting but hopefully everything works out...

    good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    More stupid advice. If she had no claim on you then you had none on her, right? Why didn't she turn up with lovebites from other guys offering it to her, i wonder.

    My advice, take the consequences. If you are lucky, be grateful if she ever takes you back.

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