Was the behavior of the Principal and Teacher appropriate?

Question

My daughter is 10 years old and last Friday, after school, they yelled at her continously in the hallway until she was crying uncontrollably.  The issue was over six assignments that she had told the after school daycare worker she'd finished and then hid in her locker.  On top of this they gave her three conduct cuts - two for three unfinished assignments and one for lying to the daycare employee.  I agree that she was wrong and deserved to take responsibility for those actions, but this was described to me by someone who witnessed part of it as being "too harsh."

Furthermore, they did this right in front of the gym where they even managed to shock and scare the other after school daycare kids. My daughter was abused at a very young age (by a daycare employee) - which is what prompts the crying.  So, not only was this humiliating, but it just brought about those feelings again.

1)  I don't feel yelling a child (especially elementary school age) is ever an appropriate action by a school.
2)  I feel that the discussion should've taken place in the principal's office or the class room where there would've been less risk of other's overhearing.
3)  I would've liked to have been informed of the meeting and given the opportunity to be present.

In my opinion they didn't solve anything that day.  My daughter just tuned them out.  If anything, they ended up losing her respect (and ours) that day.  

I also found out that night, when I read the conduct cuts (in addition to the unfinished homework) that she's failing her time tests for subtraction, multiplication and division, and has no reading points for this nine weeks.  The ONLY things I've been told that she (in early Nov) was doing MUCH better and (2 wks ago) that she needed to work on her multiplication facts.  I find it irresponsible on their part not to inform me of this before now.  After all, I can't work to correct a problem I'm not aware of.  I've always encouraged her teachers to call me when there's a problem - including this one.

RoaringMice · Accepted Answer

If you know that your daughter's teachers won't - or can't - call you if your daughter is falling behind, then put in place a program where you reach out to them, frequently. For example, right now, set up a meeting with her teacher, to discuss her performance. 

I understand that you want the teachers to call you, but they don't. That likely won't change, so you need to find other ways to communicate with them. 

I don't know why they didn't call. Maybe they have 6-7 classes per day of 30 students each, and can't realistically call parents. Maybe they just don't call. Maybe they suck. I don't know. But knowing that they won't, it's to you to take charge. 

As for the yelling - make an appointment to speak to the teacher and principle. Do not bring your daughter to this meeting. Speak to them in person. Explain the impact their behavior had on your daughter. Explain why you believe that they reacted inappropriately. Be calm. Don't show anger. Not yet. See what they say.

Anonymous · Answer

i think u should homeschool her. no kid especially age 10 should have to be yelled at especially in front of other kids. she wont want to go back to school so homeschool her

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Was the behavior of the Principal and Teacher appropriate?

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