R&P... Please someone help me....?

They're OK...check out 'The Secret Show', and their album 'Impressionist Road Map of the West'. They featured Matt Davies too, and I actually prefer that over anything I've heard by 'Funeral For A Friend'.

BQ: Nah...it's still OK here, but I admit that some of the excitement/entertainment is missing. But I suppose this is to be expected when many of the same questions are asked over and over...not to mention that trolls pretty much run this entire website. That's enough to drive many away I suppose.

Maybe it's time for another "In my pants" joke? Those were always hilarious...where you had to add the phrase "In my pants" to the title of a song...example:

Cat Scratch Fever...in my pants - Ted Nugent

Run To the Hills...in my pants - Iron Maiden

Flirting With Disater...in my pants - Molly Hatchet

Hold Your Head Up...in my pants - Argent

Thick As A Brick...in my pants - Jethro Tull

etc etc...

This is a Canadian joke, poking fun at Newfie's...or Newfoundlander's to the layperson;

One sunny Thursday afternoon, an Albertan, an American, and a Newfie were taking their lunch break high atop an I-beam on a construction site...

Joe, the Albertan opens his lunchbox and says, "Jeezus...the wife made me a Tuna Fish sandwich again! I swear, if she packs this again tomorrow, I'll be leaping from this beam!"

Frank, the American opens his lunchbox and says, "Wow...not Roast Beef again! That's 3 days in a row now! If I get roast beef again tomorrow, I'll be followin' Joe and jumping as well!"

Barry, the Newfie opens his lunchbox and says, "Lardtunderin' Jeezus! What da heck is dis? For 2 weeks now I been eatin' the same ting...peanut butter 'n jelly every day! If I find dat in me lunchbox tamara, I be jumpin' too!"

So...Friday rolls around, and the three dig into their lunchboxes...

The Albertan opens his lunch and says..."What?? Tuna Fish???...like I said, here goes!"...and with that, Joe threw himself off the I-beam headed for certain death!

The American opens his lunchbox and says..."Well...I'm a man of my word...so here goes!"...and with that, Frank spiraled to the ground!

The Newfie opened his lunchbox and said..."Un-freakin' believable...nat peanut butter and jelly again!???"...and with that Barry dove from the beam, an plummeted towards the pavement below.

A few days later the wives of the deceased construction workers were attending the funerals of their dearly departed...

The wife of the Albertan said..."I just don't get it...if Joe didn't like Tuna Fish, he could have asked me to make something else, like chicken salad, egg salad...anything! He didn't have to kill himself...boo hoo hoo!"

The wife of the American said..."I'm at a loss for words as well. If my darling Frank wanted something other than Roast Beef, all he had to do was ask! I would have made him anything! Bologna, Ham & Cheese...anything at all! It's not worth dying over!"

The wife of the Newfie said..."I don't understand...Barry made his own lunch!"

Here's another one for ya...

Tiger Woods was sent on a golf tour to Newfoundland, and drives his new Ford Fusion into a petrol station in a remote part of the countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Newfoundlander manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are dose?" Asks the attendant.

"They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"Well, what on god's earth are dey for?" inquires the attendant.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

"Lardthunderin!", says the Newfoundlander, "Ford tinks of everyting!"

*Edit - David V...

Nah...I'm not making fun of you. You're from New Brunswick...not Newfoundland. My joke was aimed at Newfies...most Canadians know the difference between Newfoundlander's, New Brunswickers, and Nova Scotian's...with the exception of a few people I've encountered since moving out west a few years ago...they tend to lump them all together, but I'd never do that, Lol.

Glad you enjoyed the jokes! The first one was told to me by a Newfie about 30 years ago:)

I don't know that band, just the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GYI6XJH9Ss

Awww that's too bad. Yeah some of the fun has been gone for a while.

I've been here for over 2 years now as a regular user, and it used to be so much fun back then. Now it is "once in a while only " kind of fun.

Here some Chuck Norris jokes that are so bad and so tacky they make tacky blush in diverse hues of pink and carmine. Maybe they will make you laugh though?

Here they come:

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

I'm sorry. I haven't been participating much the past few days - I had a death in the family and I'm kinda bummed out. I love that you used to piss your pants all day here though!! lol. Too funny. Things will probably pick back up again after the holidays are over. I hope so.

I am not familiar with the band but I love the Elton John song a lot....

BA: How about a funny picture?

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blp...

I agree this section is not as much fun as it used to be, with a lot ot old R&P er's gone. But there are a few good new ones and some of the old are still hanging it there.

I see Smiley is making fun of me again and my people from the coast but i'm across the bay from Newfounland, thanks for the laugh's Smiley.

take care

dave

sorry my friend I forgot to throw a few jobs in, they will also be jokes about my part of the country here in Canada.

A Newfie is addressing a Mainlander. "Do you know why Newfie jokes are so simple?"

The Mainlander replies, "No, Why?"

The Newfie answers, "So Mainlanders can understand them."

This is why people like me in the maritimes have a hard time with Computer Lingo, right along with the Newifes.

1.log on.....make the wood stove hotter.

2.long off...Don't add no more wood

3.monitor...keep an eye on that wood stove

4.download....get the firewood off the truck

5.floppy disk...what you get from trying to carry too much firewood.

6.ram....The thing that splits the fire wood

7.hard drive....getting home in the winter

8.prompt....thow another log on the fire

9.window....what to shut when it's cold outside

10.screen.....what to shut in fly season

11.byte....what flies do

12.bit.....what the flies did

13.megabyte....what BIG flies do

14.chip....munchies when monitoring

15.micro chip....what's left after you eat the chips

16.modem....what you did to the hayfields

17.dot matrix.....old Dan Matrix's wife.

18.lap top....where kitty sleeps

19.software.....the dumb plastic knives and forks they give you at the Big R.

20.hardware....reall stainless steel cutlery

21.Mouse....what eats the grain in the barn

22.mainframe....what holds up the barn

23.enter.....city talk for come on in b'y.

24.web....the things spiders make

25.website....the barn or attic

26.cursor....someone who swears a lot

27.search engine.....what you do when the car dies

28.screen saver.....a repair kit for the torn window screen

29.home page.....a map you keep in your back pocket just in case you get lost when picking berries

30.upgrade....driving up a hill

31.server....the Mrs. at Donovan's who brings the dinner

32.mail server....the guy at Big R. with Grade 8 who brings fish.

33.Ms-Dos....some new diease they discovered

34.sound card....one of them technological birthday cards that play music

35.user......Buddy down the street who keeps coming over and borrowing stuff.

36.Browser....what they call you when your eyebrows grow together.

37.network.....when you have to repair your fishing net

38...internet....where the fish get caught

39.netscape....when fish gets away

40.on-line.....when you gets the laundry on the wash-line

41.off -line......when the clothespins let go and the laundry

theses are from my book more Canadian Jokes. We love to laugh at ourselves

take care

dave

Funeral For A Friend is awesome!!! B-)

BQ: I know!! I definitely agree. All the new regs are only concerned with bashing bands they hate and it's annoying as hell to me. I've laughed REALLY hard in this section before but not in a while.

They all need to watch some spongebob =P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfEfM-MnTGc

Oh and for a joke, this one is horrible but hilarious at the same time and Its the only one I can think of XD

Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? So she can moan with the other one! XP

I've never really listened to their music!

BA: Oh my good god YES! Remember when people were allowed to make jokes, goof around, be sarcastic, and still have great conversations about music? Everything has gotten so serious here, and it seems like people are addicted to giving thumbs up and abuse reports!

A joke? Uhm...I think Tiger Woods should change his first name to "Cheetah"

& http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/

I used to like a few of their songs but I totally forgot about them until I saw this...so thanks, youtubing them now...:)

BQ: I have no idea, I barely ever come here...but it's always been full of reporters and trolls in P&S and we still have fun, so you gotta make it fun with your contacts man!!

Actually can't think of any jokes right now...sorry!

I'm sorry

I think some of the fun died along with My broken heart honestly. I feel like I'm such a emo downer on everyone that maybe I shouldn't be here. I really hope I didn't contribute to the slow death of R&P. But considering how badly I screw everything else up, maybe I shouldn't be surprised.

yeah, i've decided to actually use Yahoo Answers for what it's best for.

Answering questions to get actual help on things.

When you think about it, it's not even supposed to be an "online community" where people develop "online relationships" with one another...which is why the "fun" doesn't last.

On another note, hi daniel!

=)

Don't know them, do like the Elton John song.

Joke:

Two guys are riding to work on the bus. They both see two dogs having sex on a lawn. One guy looks at the other and says, "I sure wish my wife would get down like that."

The other guy, says, "Man, that's easy. Y'all just need to have a few drinks first."

The same two guys are riding the bus to work the next morning. The one asks the other, "Well, how did things go last night?"

The guy says, "It was great, but it took hell of a lot of drinks to get her out on the lawn.