If you have grudges against your husband's family, would you still attend the family Christmas party?

It sounds like your sister in laws are in a little click and trouble makers.

Your husband should never allow any of his family members to bad mouth you so shame on him.

So his brothers wives know how to flatter your mother in law because they are fake and you are real and they are not.

I would not want to be around a bunch of little small minded hen peckers either unless my husband could step up to the plate and control his hateful pit bull sister in laws.

That is just horrible for anyone to expect you to bow down to anyone so someone can have their way at the expense of causing you stress.

I would probably go to his family on Christmas and just wait for one of them to open up with their attitude and look them straight in the face and say "That is enough".

To bad if it upsets his dear mother because if she goes along with it in her own home Then i would tell her why i will not be coming back until she tells her family to get along.

They may not like you "which is their problem" but if nothing else they can all show you some respect including your husband.

Never allow anyone to expect you to tolerate emotional abuse so someone else can be happy to be in an environment at your expense.

First, I'm guessing you guys got married young. I say this because, in a mature healthy marriage, no husband is going to listen to his mom and sibs and then change how he feels about his wife. This can happen in high school with girlfriends/boyfriends, but not to a happy married couple. Therefore, something else is going on.

Maybe you did get married too young. If that's not the problem, maybe you didn't know each other well enough. Maybe you don't communicate well - this is often a huge problem.

I'd suck it up for Christmas, but you and your husband need to have a long and serious chat and then consider counseling. This isn't about his family - it's something wrong between the 2 of you.

You know what irritates this old battle beach more than anything?

Someone being nice to me when I KNOW they KNOW I dislike them.

Not to mention they are using my own tactics against me.

It's like hurting someone with the truth rather than a lie.

It hurts far worse.

Just go to the Christmas party and kill them all with kindness.

One of three things will happen: 1) One of them will blow up at you making themselves look like a royal *** for you have been nothing but overly kind and pleasant 2) you will see them steam, glare in hatred, eating themselves alive, 3) They give up and become pleasant for they see they can't get to you. Either way you win.

By not attending all you are doing is giving them more ammo against you and satisfaction they could run you off. You are part of the family Hon, like it or not so when you are given those got damn lemons make lemon aid.

Listen, it's not an easy thing to do, but with practice you can turn it into an art.

Best wishes & happy holidays

Holding grudges only proves immaturity. As you stated in your first sentence YOU have problems with your husband's brother's wives (sister in laws) and the problem is that you are blaming THEM for your husband not sticking up for you . They have no control over your husband. He obviously is siding with hi mother rather than you. That isn't the fault of your sister in laws.

Yes go!! Smile and politly ask the did I do something to offend you? get the bad air out in the open, its could be all a misunderstanding, and if not then either way you have a chance to defend yourself.

you are ruining your life because you dont honor your elders. it is all about you. it is boring and it is going to lead you to a very very lonely life if you dont shake off your selfishness.

turn it around and ask yourself how can you be pleasant, polite, and kind to everyone at christmas, and what food and little gifts you can bring to others with little notes that say things like ' i am so glad you are my sister in law' or, " to a wonderful mother in law" i will bet you have not torn yourself from looking at yourself in the mirror to spend one single second thinking about anyone but yourself. that is why you dont fit in. you are a party of one. it is you, not them.

help in the kitchen and smile the whole time. ask others how they are and what is new with them. really actually listen when they respond. if there is a game join in.

at the end of the night give hugs to everyone and humbly thank them for all the trouble and time they took to make the holdiay wonderful for everyone there. write a thank you letter to everyone there thanking them for the presents they gave you or just to tell them how nice it was to see them,

when you step out of the space that you inhabit with just you and your boring opinions, and actuallly show interest and joy and caring about others, you will get it back one thousandfold.

be the better person and attend. I've had to do that many times, and its my sister in laws that have made it miserable for me, and my husband never stood up for me. He now does, but I still hold that grudge against him and them for treating me that way. So, its hard. Until he steps up for you, you arent going to be happy.

Also, dont try to hard to please them, they should like you for who you are, not for what you do for them, trust me it hasnt worked with this family Im in.

LOL, didn't you see the question I posted a little while ago about my mother in law? Yeah, it sucks sometimes but you can get through one night. Make your husband proud.

I think it'll make your marriage and your relationship with your in laws a lot better if you stay home like a little baby.

go show ur face be a good sport and they will or will not approve either way it shows you love your husband and you have way more class than they do make sure your to cute wish u luck!!