How to handle these kids I babysit? HELP PLEASE!?

Question

Sometimes I have to babysit for these three boys, who are 12, 10, and 7. And most of the time it's in the evening/night, so I have to make sure they take their showers and go to bed, which is impossible!!!! They usually aren't bad during the day, because they just watch TV or sometimes play outside, and they get along okay for the most part. But getting them to bed is the bad part. I don't know why, but for some reason as time goes on, they just get worse about it. The first time I babysat for them, they actually took their showers as soon as I told them to, and although they were a little slow getting to bed it wasn't too much of a battle. But the last time I babysat...oh boy. They were watching TV downstairs and I told them they had to take their showers. They always pretend like they don't hear me and I have to repeat myself so many freaking times, or I'll just have to get the remote and turn off the TV since they won't. So, I finally turn off the TV, and after a lot of stalling, they finally go upstairs. I have to follow them, because I know they won't get in the shower. In fact, I came up a few seconds after they got up there and of course, they just turned on the TV upstairs. So we go through the same thing again where they won't listen so I have to turn off the TV. Then they finally go to their bathrooms to take their showers. Once I see them finally go in their rooms and turn off the lights (or sometimes I have to turn them off!) I go back downstairs. And the last time I was there, they sneaked out of their rooms after I left! I was downstairs and suddenly I hear SpongeBob's voice coming from upstairs! So they had obviously turned on the TV again! I had seen them go to their rooms and I turned off the lights, so they obviously waited until I was gone to sneak back out of their rooms. They had the volume down really quietly, but I could still hear it a little, and I heard them talking quietly too. At this point I was just sick of battling them so I didn't go back up there. I just figured if their mom found them they'd be in trouble, but hopefully she wouldn't blame me. Of course, their mom came home and when they heard the garage door opening, I could hear them scrambling back to their rooms upstairs. I did tell their mom about them not listening and sneaking up. Luckily she wasn't mad at me. I apologized but she said it was okay and it wasn't my fault. But what the heck am I supposed to do when they do this? I mean, the oldest kid is 12, and practically as big as me, I obviously can't physically force them to go to bed. And I don't see how I can punish them since that would only delay them getting to bed more, and they're way past the age of being put in time-out and stuff. Luckily I don't get asked to babysit them very often. I know it sounds bad, but when I do I try to think of some excuse to get out of it, because it's just really stressful! I might have to babysit them again in a few days, but their mom said their grandma might just watch them. I'm just praying to God that the grandma is available, and if not I'm seriously trying to think of some way to get out of it. I want to quit but I don't want to be rude and just suddenly tell the mom I don't want to ever watch her kids again! So, since I'm trapped doing this, how the heck DO I handle them?

Update:

Well, I don't show them that I'm stressed or upset. Actually, all three of them have the same bedtime because they're all in elementary school and have to get up really early in the morning.

Update 2:

Yeah, I'm in high school. I'm 16.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Don't babysit for them anymore.   Just tell the mom you'd rather take a pass on it from now on because you cannot control their behavior.   If one of the kids is 12 years old they are probably starting to get too old for a babysitter anyway, so just tell her they are too old for you to be able to keep under control.

cuatdance · Answer

Age is the key, the younger one will have less freedom, and the older one will have more. Make a time-line for them to follow, therefore you only have to work with one child at a time. Before the parents leave ask them if you can sit by the television upstairs so the kids cant watch tv. Once the kids are all in bed make bell bands to put on there door handles so you know when the kids leave. (bell bands- bells attached to string and wrapped on a door so you know when a person enters or exits.) Do what you can from then on,confront the kids if they leave there rooms after they are supposed to. The kids will be startled and should listen Keep a notebook with information for the parents. Note: Before the parents leave, find out what the house rules are, and what the parents want you to do if they are broken. This will really help, but they normally tell you to right it down and they will deal with it later. Good luck.

*HM* · Answer

Wow.  I might expect behavior like that from the 7 year old, but 12!?  That's way too old to be acting like that.  12 is old enough to understand that you can't stay up watching TV all night or else you'll be falling asleep the next day.  I really don't know how you would handle this, except you should definitely tell their mom about the problems you're having.  Since she seems to understand that they can be difficult and isn't blaming you for not getting them to bed, you can tell her that you're having a lot of problems with getting them to listen to you and go to bed.  Hopefully she'll talk to the kids about it and warn them about not listening to you and give them consequences if they don't.  But if things don't get better after that you can just tell her that you don't think you're cut out for the job (that way you don't have to say it's because you don't like watching her kids).

And I'm wondering if your age also might be part of the problem.  I wonder if the oldest kid might not take you seriously since you're only 4 years older than he is, and you say he's almost as big as you!  He may see you as more of a peer than an authority figure, and the younger ones might just be following what he does.  I mean, 12 is getting a bit old for a babysitter anyway, but if you are going to get a babysitter for someone that old, it probably shouldn't be a young teenager when that kid is practically a teenager too.  So it might be better anyway for the mom to find someone else to watch them, who is a little older.

Anonymous · Answer

You didn't say how old you are, but from you grammar and sentence structure I am guessing that you are in high school. Your best bet is just to be honest.  If their mom asks you to babysit again just tell her politely that after the last incident you don't think it would a a good idea.  You don't need an excuse, just the truth.  That isn't being rude.  The fact all three of them were brazen enough to just ignore you shows they are not very well disciplined.

mominla · Answer

You need to make time to sit down with the kids and the parents at the same time and let them tell their mom how they act when you are watching them. If they scramble when she is coming home then this will definetly work as a mom I would appreciate your sitting down with me and letting me know what is going on. The kids need to know you are serious and you aren't gonna back down they may be mad at you for a little while but at least they will respect you. 

Good luck hope all works out.

Anonymous · Answer

You're the authority. Don't let them push you around.

If they're watching TV and not listening, turn off the TV and confiscate the remote. You can always have a warning system, and let them know when you will tell their parents if they are not cooperating. Be firm and consistent.

And you have the choice not to babysit, if it's too much for you.

? · Answer

Okay the first thing you can do is hope they'll be better the next time. You also have to show them that you are the boss. I'm not sure how you can show it but just show it!!! If they don't listen to you just be all bossy and stuff. They may not like you for it but you need to show them that if they don't listen to them you won't be in a good mood. Talk to their mom or something. I'm not sure if this will help you but I hope it does!

Cora · Answer

Play a game where they can scream and yell and run for a few minutes before they have to go to bed. That way, maybe they won't feel like they are missing out. Try to make them feel like bed time isn't a death wish. Also, if they keep it up, tell their parents!!! Let them know you will tell their parents if they don't listen to you. That should help!

fandango · Answer

They are testing you and seem to be winning, getting you all upset. So relax and chill. Its no big thing. It won't kill the two older boys if they are still up a little longer than their set bedtimes- the 7 year old does have an earlier bedtime?

B4C0N · Answer

Threaten to beat them with a spoon if they don't stop.

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How to handle these kids I babysit? HELP PLEASE!?

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