Help with this friend situation?

Question

I've been friends with this girl for 3 years, but recently me and other friends have realized how mean she really is and don't really like to be around her. She says things like "you're so awkward, no one likes you..." I don't think she's trying to be mean, I know she's joking but it's still hurtful. 

I've come up with ways to make her stop doing that, but she also talks non-stop about all of the boys she is "best friends" with. It seems like she's doing this because she knows that me and a couple other girls haven't really had boyfriends, whereas she has, and she likes to feel like she's above us. Whenever any of us like a guy or even are friends with a guy, she tries to be better friends with them than we are. She also can be really conceited and acts like she's prettier than all of her friends.

A lot of people have been distancing themselves from this girl because they can't tolerate her! Me and my other friend are thinking that we want to do this too, but we remember that she can also be REALLY nice and really really understanding and supportive. The girl keeps saying things like "you're my only friends, you've always been there for me, so-and-so stopped talking to me and I don't know why..." 

I don't want to stop being friends with her, but I can't keep the situation how it is. If I just distanced myself, the problem would never be solved, and as her friend I want to make her a better person. What can I say to her that addresses these issues without me seeming like a really mean person?

Thanks if you can help!

Katie Cousins · Accepted Answer

Confront her is the best way to approach this, she obviously has a difficult personality to work with, I know because I am the same, I have a natual split personality, and so does she.
Whenever she is mean, or says something hurtfull, take her aside and tell her she is being inappropriate or how it hurts your feelings when she says this, she may not even realise she is doing it. The liklyhood is she does not realise when she does it leading her to not understand when people distance from her.

As for the guy deal, maybe she is jelous or once again, on automatic with the not realising. Next time she tells you about her 'guy friends' just tell her you don't care who she is friends with or how many guys she is best friends with.

A lot of the time you will sound like your being mean, just explain your trying to help her keep her friends, if you want to make her a better person, then stick with it, because if you don't then, most likly noone will and she is going to have problems later on in life.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Isaiah · Answer

I'd just go up to her and let her know that she's been putting you down, and hurting your feelings, if she's really your friend then she'll understand and stop. If she doesn't then she's not really your friend.

? · Answer

mayb u shud tell her dat her behaviour is da reason why every1's distancing demselves frm her and dat u and ur friends will help her change for da better if she's willing to change.

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Help with this friend situation?

3 Answers