how do you prevent your first child from getting jealous when your second child is born?

Just always remember, you have 2 children. Not just a new baby.

Keep the older child involved. Feedings, changings, etc...

Well, I have a mature 3 year old, and my newborn arrived on 12/4. So far, it's been alright, though my toddler's sleep patterns have changed, she really doesn't want to go to bed at night anymore, I guess she's afraid she'll miss something? Anyways, we've been including her in her brother's care, and letting her know what a big help she is. I've had more issues with daddy being overprotective of our newborn son than with her having jealousy, daddy gets upset if she's getting a little too affectionate or close while I tend to watch and wait, and see how she does. She's usually surprising gentle. She gets a bit bummed cause the baby can't talk yet, and she's a chatterbox, lol, I think she's looking forward to someone to chat with that isn't me. It's fairly easy while the newborn is a baby, I think most of the issues will come later when he's mobile and trying to play with all of his sister's toys, lol. But by then, I will have a great grasp on their personalities and know what approaches work best for our family.

Good luck!

Make them feel they are part of the process and how much help they are going to have to give. Start by playing with some baby dolls to show them what to expect. To many younger kids expect a ready to play baby brother or sister to come home not some basically boring little thing that takes mommy and daddy away. There are a few really good books that explain it even better. Just be sure to involve them and recruit them, into the helping mentality.That way they will get over the me,me,me,me syndrome we all can suffer from, at any age.

You can't entirely prevent it. My daughter turned 4 3 weeks after my son was born. One thing that you can do is try to have your husband help out as much as you can with the baby. If you are breastfeeding it can be difficult, but you don't want to not be able to give your oldest any attention because you are always busy with the baby. So if your older child wants something then you can always say as soon as I'm through feeding the baby daddy will go change him and then we can ....whatever it is your child is needing. The older child will have to learn to share her parents, but you don't always want to put the oder child on the back burner. Try to be sure and spend some time just the two of you while the baby is napping. You can also get your older child to help out with the baby as much as they are able and want to. You don't want to turn them into a little slave for the baby, but lots of kids that age like to be helpful. It makes them feel like a big kid to be able to help you with the baby. You can also multitask some. Once my son and I had the breastfeeding thing down I found it was a perfect time to read with my daughter while I was feeding the baby. She was big enough to hold the book and turn the pages and I was able to spend some good quality quiet time with both of them together.

When my youngest son my oldest was 3.

I had an old book from when my son was born(i still have it now!) and it said:

-Try to keep as many routines and activities as you can.

-Dont expect your older child to feel pleased with the baby or feel the way you do.

-Expect your older child to be more demanding.

-Be prepared for your older child to go back to baby behaviour for a time.

-Jealousy will come at some stage but wont last long.

My son was really jealous of his baby brother but when my daughter came along there was hardly any.

Make the sibling a gift to them. When you talk about the new baby, only discuss how great it will be for them.

Wow, won't it be cool to have a sibling to play with?

I think we need to go to the store and pick up some new toys. You are a big boy/girl, you don't need those silly baby toys anymore. (Maybe do this at the dollar store and let them go crazy and get a ton of stuff for $20!)

I'm so glad you are a big kid now. Mommy is so proud of you! You are so grown up!

I bet you are excited to show off your little brother to all of your friends! They will think you are such a big boy/girl now that you are caring for a little sibling.

Won't it be fun to show the new baby all the cool things you enjoy? I bet the baby will learn a lot from you.

Wow! The new baby got you this cool big brother/sister gift! How nice!

My first had a new sister at 3. We included him in everything. Now, he is 4 and my daughter is 1. We had twins 12/12/09 and we included them both in everything to make them feel a big part of the babies life. My 1 year old didn't really understand about it but we were all happy.

I went through this. Try to involve the older child in participating with the care of the baby. You could tell him that you are going to need his or her help with the new baby. Make your older child feel important like they are actually helping you....ie getting a diaper, etc This way there is less of a chance of jealousy. It worked for me...so good luck.

My first was 3 when her brother was born and naturally she was jealous, sad and happy, very confusing for a little girl. I made sure everyday at certain time in between feeding and burping it was her time with me alone, she had my undivided attention for 30 minutes, we would read, sing or even watch sesame street together, I have done this routine for years not just with her but with both as my son started needing attention more. I remember coming home from work and I'd sit them down on my lap one at a time and just talked, I'd even ramble on about my work and they had no idea what I was talking about but they would just listen. They are in their twenties now and they are the best listeners and best of all they love each other.

I suggest getting your first child excited about the baby,letting him/her know that they have an important role now as a big brother or sister,they understand more than what people give them credit for,even try giving him /her a certain responsibility and when the baby comes continue that role.Good Luck and Congrats

I.m lucky my son loves his sis,although their 8 years difference they are crazy about each other and i practiced the suggestions i give you i know there is a age difference with your's and mine but it's worth a try.