would you like to read my poem? #02?

It's great

your first few lines are pretty good. since you have a lot of repetition in this poem, you should try to bring it out more.

Also, starting with line five, you begin to lose the same meter. Since I think you'd be the most comfortable writing in Blank Verse, you should look up the constituents, or at least know that it is in iambic pentameter. If you don't know what that means, look it up.

And like i said, use your repetition and alliteration. And then also help keep up the idea that this is a never ending cycle for you. I think if you style it correctly with the right wording you can have a very effective poem.

questions, comments, or more suggestions email jimmylightning420@yahoo.com

Sometimes you said something

but I couldn`t really know what you mean

so i shrug my shoulders

it just comes to my mind

it`s natural and doesn`t mean anything.

Anyway that`s what i think.nothing.

Very good. Especially for just thinking of it today!