Is it wrong to withhold the truth to your children to save them pain?

No, I don't think so. Some things are better left unsaid. Plus, you don't really want to be the parent that walks around saying bad stuff about the other parent, even though it is true. That's just being ugly. I think you did the right thing. You are right, they don't need to know what happened, it will just make them feel mixed feelings and emotions, and they need to be happy around Christmas...good memories. I would have done the same thing.

No need to point it out to them, just simply say to them that their dad was mistaken obviously since the mail "finally" arrived.. but then u get on the phone with your x, and u tell him ur making a copy of the checks before u cash them for the kids, and copying the envelope with the post mark on it.. and u tell him that if he continues to put your children in the middle of his psychotic behavior that he will leave u no choice but to hold him in contempt (most divorce papers usually say something to the affect of there is to be no bashing the other parent to the children) and if he continues to mentally abuse the children like this that u will seek supervised visitations with the kids to keep them from having to endure his craziness.. and the next time that the kids are on the phone the moment u hear anything that even remotely sounds like he's bashing u , u quickly tell the kids u need to speak with their dad and take the phone away then excuse the children from the room and simply say when u can act like a mature adult that puts his childrens feelings ahead of his own personal feelings he may call back and hang up... Dont allow this to continue it only hurts the kids and makes them feel as though they are in the middle of a tug of war, if u put boundries up that your x cant cross he'll eventually get the picture and stop..

Always tell your kids the truth IF a question is asked, but always keep the answer age appropriate..

No. You were right. But you could suggest that they call Dad and tell him that the cards and presents arrived safely. I would suggest that an apology is in order. I'd imagine that the next time he pulls that stunt, the kids will be less likely to believe him and you could always remind them that sometimes things are "delayed" in the mail... just like the Christmas cards this year.

At least you did the right thing. I hope they will to (the apologies).

Merry Christmas.

Yes you need to tell the children the truth. Let them know up front that you do not want to put their dad down, but that you gave them the money just as soon as it arrived. Show them the date then let it go. Other things will come up in the future and this guy will hang himself on his own. You have no reason to cover for their father. It is unfair to you and the children.

You could have shown them that you just got the money. They are cheques and they were not cashed and they might understand that. You could have said nicely somehow that their father might have thought that it came earlier but that they just came today. You could explain it without blaming him and just trying to say that he made a mistake that he really thought you took it. This is one of the things I would not hide from the children but I would be careful as how I say it. You don't want them to think that you're a thief. They will see what a jerk he is one day on their own. My grown children don't speak to their father and believe me it had nothing to do with me but then again he is a jerk.

When i saw the heading of the question my first reaction was yes you should never withhold information. were stronger than you think! but when i read the question it seems like your husband was more in the wrong than you were. I think its okay that you let it go. technically your not lying to them your just not pointing out the obvious. If you pointed it out all you would be doing was saving face for yourself. Let them have a good christmas, if he feels guilty about lying then he can tell them himself.

If your kids are old enough they will figure it out for themselves. If they're not old enough, they probably won't understand. Give them the cards, checks and envelopes but say nothing about your ex. If they come back with questions answer them honestly and without embellishment.

ur a strong mother and ur badasssss for takin the blame even tho u know u dident do anything but ur kids are smart and they will understand it wasent u at all as long as u gave them the money and let them know how crazy the mail system is this time of year

Your ex is a nutjob. Good riddance. The kids? Well they got the money/cards. Besides, its not Christmas yet.

This really is a matter of opinion.

The truth always prevails.

If it were me, I would have explained to the children the facts as they are, so as to toughen them up for real life!!!