Gift giving to in-laws...rude?

I'm sorry to hear your in-laws are this way. Honestly, although I am not religious, I don't think religion has anything to do with this. These people are downright hurtful. They have obviously not accepted you, for whatever reason, and are dead set on making sure you know that.

I think you have gone above and beyond making an effort for this long. Not sending a gift for you when they send one for your husband is hurtful, but if they are not even decent enough to acknowledge the receipt of a gift you sent them, they are beyond words.

If I were in your situation, I would cease any communication to them completely. Be polite if they make an effort to contact you, but otherwise take them off your list. These people do not deserve your generosity. If your husband feels different, then he can send them gifts or anything else on his own. Stop going out of your way for people like this. You have tried and you are the better person. Focus your efforts somewhere that will be appreciated.

Good luck!

UGH! My husband and I are dealing with this as I write this. We had a baby and this is her first Christmas. My side, of course, has been nothing but giving to her and maybe not so much to send us (me & hubby) as much as earlier years, but that's to be understood. Well, his side has sent him gifts only (as they have done in the past) and not acknowledged our 8 month old!!! He's super pissed. He got a small gourmett ham! Anyhoooo-- if your husband can understand the rudeness behind their actions, you're golden to STOP GIVING GIFTS. It's not worth spending time/money/thoughfulness on people who don't appreciate your kindness. If he wants you to continue sending gifts make him spend his own time/money/thoughtfulness of the gifts. Before the baby I did this with my hubby and he quit sending items on his own. At first he sent money then he got wise and stopped altogether. His side is religious too and they never said Boo to receiving or not so WHATEVER:) Enjoy the extras without all of the drama. Happy Holidays!

Hm. This isn't a fun situation at all.

I realize that your initial feeling might be to stop giving gifts and you're certainly under no obligation to give. I feel this sticky situation might be handled best with your husband's input. Does he support you in ending the giving? Does he feel like his family isn't at fault? Does he even care if there are gifts at all?

The reason I ask is because I'm assuming the gifts you send aren't from you, they're from the both of you as a unified entity. In saying that, if your husband supports your position, it wouldn't be wrong to ask him to gently intercede and ask his family to at least acknowledge receipt of the gifts they receive. If you're the odd man out in your extended family, your husband's feelings will carry a little more weight. You might not be able to get them to say thank you, but at least there'll be some line of communication.

Regarding receiving gifts from his family and your feeling of exclusion, your husband may be able to mediate in this as well, provided he is aware of your feelings and believes they're justified. At the very least, he can discover why they're excluding you, or if it's simply oversight on their part.

I wish you all the best of luck, darling. I've been in your shoes. Merry Christmas.

Stop sending them gifts. You're under no obligation to kiss their a**es, or to take their crap.

If they say something about not getting a gift, say simply and straight-forward "Why bother? You don't appreciate the ones you got." If they have a problem with that, they can write their congressman. Of course, this requires your husband to have the common sense and wherewithal to see what they do and to stand up for you. If he won't, you're going to be putting up with this for a long time.

Wow that is tough. They are blatantly leaving you out and being extremely rude. I would drop the gift giving (maybe except for the children if you feel torn). Maybe they will get the hint, but I doubt it since they don't seem to understand their rudeness now. I find it very funny that so many "religious" people act this way (disrespectful and judgmental). Sorry you have poor in-laws but seem par for the normal course.

the truth is that although you're married, they may not see you as part of the family. you shouldn't bother with gift giving for them, unless you want to. it really is up to you.

not all religious people are like this though. my fiance's family is religious and they give me gifts for Christmas even when i don't get them anything. in fact, they're the ones that started that tradition even while we were just dating. sometimes it's just the cards you're dealt. however, you seem strong so don't let them get to you. and i don't feel that there's any need for confrontation unless one of them brings it up. it might make you seem petty [although you're not], and it'll just fuel them. you don't need that.

besides, you're happily married now and the best thing that could have come from them, is already married to you. =]

merry Christmas!

I would either stop sending gifts or send really really really bad gifts so they get the message.

Stop giving them any gifts if you don't want to. Well, I think you should not expect them toif you anything back in return. However, I believe they should say thank you at least.

Quit sending them gifts. It 's ridiculous to put up with such treatment.

Stop giving gifts to them. They don't deserve them. They clearly don't like you, so don't waste your time on them.

I'm not religious either, and I don't care what religious people think about me.

However, I respect religious people and their beliefs.