Do you know of any adopted families that helped out the biological family after the adoptin?

I have heard of a few families like that. I don't have any personal experience like that though. The closest was foster care. There was this one foster family that even after leaving their care they had helped my sister and I and my mother. The foster mom often called to make sure we had food,clothing,etc. This family we lived with close to over 3 years. The foster mom and I are really close even today, never mind she has her own 4 children and I'm not a " child anymore". She visited me- a 6 hour drive- in the hospital after I had my premature baby. Shes a "grandparent/godparent" to my baby girl. She and her husband are role models for me, they were like parents and still are. My mother don't mind at all- I love my mom very much she was the one that gave birth to me and struggled to make ends meet,etc. I respect my mom and she knows it. She understands about the foster parents. She likes them. They were the only ones to treat us decently. She talks to them,etc. She's done her best for us, after my father died, it went down hill for her. She had to get her stuff back together for us. My foster mom still helps her today- giving her advice, encouraging her. I know it sounds weird but that family has done a lot for my mom- not just financially but emotionally support.

Now the other foster parents..didn't do anything like this. I know of one foster family that did help children/family after leaving-not counting my experience. Some people will. But not most, I don't think. I know a lady that has spent a lot of money on this child in foster care recently. She takes her every weekend to do fun things, she has her own horse,etc. She made a fabulous birthday cake for this girl. She was trying to be a foster parent but then an uncle got sick and she had to care for him. They still talk, she's still a "mentor" to this young teen. I think the things this woman does is great. Foster care should be a positive experience, not a negative one. I'm happy that I had a positive experience even when I had negative ones. I just wish that all foster children could be as lucky as I was.

Adoption you pay money. I think that money should be used to help better that family, not feed the pockets of private agencies. I can understand when it goes to local government like DHS or family services. I had a sister that was adopted- I know the name and everything. There was a time that we were up for adoption as well- it was a mistake- and there was this family from Texas that was interested in us. I believe it was the same family that adopted one of my oldest sisters- she's 3 years older then I am.

Do you think more people should do this?

Not necessarily, no. Then, it could turn into some kind of business for the biological parents to get free education, whatever for their family... all because they gave the child up.

Should it be required for people adopting internationally (assuming the child wasn't an infant)?

No, see my answer above. And where would the responsibility for the biological family end? should the adopted child feel that he/she needs to continue giving hand-outs just because he/she was the "adopted" one?

Do you know of anyone in the states that did something like this?

Yes, a few.

Or do people normally do things like this?

It's rare.

I have a close friend who adopted a little boy (age 5). The child's mother was placing him for adoption because she was terminally ill and she wanted to pick the new family for her son and not risk the child going into foster care (the father had previously been killed in a car accident and there was no extended family). My friends met with the mother and worked with her to transition the child into their family. The entire family refers to the birth mother as the little boy's first mother, not birth mother, and keep her picture displayed with all the other family pictures throughout their house. Before she died, my friends invited the woman to stay with them and when she was hospitalized they visited her daily and brought the little boy daily as well. I've always thought it must have been a relief to the mother to know she had found a good home for her child and for the little boy to the see that his new parents loved his first mother and took her into their home as well. It sounds to me that your fiance's adoptive parents are also very good people...not many people would continue to help a family like that and it speaks very highly of them.

Oh, I don't know. I would like to say that'd be a nice thing to do, if the family could afford it and were willing. I adopted my son to a very well off family, but I would never ask them for help! All I can ask for is they take care of my son and love him and treat him well and send him to college when he's grown. I'm responsible for myself. If I have children again, I will wait until I can support them myself, and it's an open adoption so I'm sure they'll meet each other frequently, and know they are siblings.

I don't think it would be a good idea for most people to do that, it would be like selling your child for money. In some cases it would be ok if you adopted from a single mom you know or something like that.

I know only a few who have even kept in contact but they did what they could in their own way.

I think if your bf's adopters were decent people, they'd have allowed him to be raised in the family nature provided for him, instead of bringing him home like a souvenir.