Shelbi =)

My father was never really involved in my life. My parents divorced before I was even in grade school, but my father always seemed to care about me. He was supposed to come by and get me every weekend, but that never happened. I usually just see him on holidays at the family's house. Anyways....

I started dating this guy in middle school. He was homeless after leaving a Christian boys school, (he didn't do anything bad to get there, just super religious parents), but he stayed with friends here in my town. About a year into our relationship his friends moved, and my mother offered him a place to stay. Four years later, were both out of high school and plan to get married.

My father never really made an effort to talk to my fiance, but my fiance didn't either; he thinks my father neglected me and should have been around more. The rest of my father's family knows my fiance, and likes him. My fiance even goes to celebrations that my dad misses because he's out with his friends.

My family is not, and has never been, very well off. We're lower middle class. However, my fiance's family is well off. They have offered us jobs and places to stay until we get on our feet. They are even offering to help us get into a good college, (something my family could never afford). The catch is, my family is in the midwest and his family is in North Carolina. My mother is all for it, she knows that we love each other. When he started staying with us, she was very sick and not in her right mind (who lets their daughter's boyfriend move in). Well, she took a turn for the worse and he really took care of things. He made sure the bills were paid (dropped out of high school and got a factory job). They are very close, and she trusts me with him. However, my dad never took the effort to get to know him and he's not to keen on the idea of me leaving.

I am going to breakfast with him in the morning and I'm not to sure about what to say. I really, really just want a better life. I don't want to have to work 50+ hour weeks just to keep a (rented) roof over my head. I want my future children to have better.

He thinks that I'm going to miss my friends and that I'll be lonley. I'm really good friends with his sister; we talk all the time. Plus my two best friends here will be giving birth in a few weeks. Then my other good friend is due in a few months, and my other friend moved down south. I don't want a family yet!! We worked really hard to ensure that we wouldn't have a family yet.

How do I explain this to him? He just sees it as me rebelling. I really don't want to leave on bad terms. Any advice or tips welcome.

My fiances family adopted him internationally as an infant/toddler. Not only did they keep up contact (he returned home on numerous occasions) but they helped his family out financially. His adoptive parents paid for his siblings to go to school (rare in his country), plus helped them to get a better home, etc.

I have a couple questions...

Do you think more people should do this?

Should it be required for people adopting internationally (assuming the child wasn't an infant)?

Do you know of anyone in the states that did something like this?

Or do people normally do things like this?

I'm just kind of learning about adoption & I would like to see what other adopted people think.

I mean, I'm not stupid they're not going to let an 18 year old do foster care.

However, if your in your early twenties and are financially stable, would you be eligible?

My fiance and I have been together since we were in middle school and now were in college and planning our lifes. We don't have kids and don't plan to for a few more years. We have always had discusions about adoption or doing foster care. He was adopted internationally as a toddler and is in contact with both families. His adoptive family is great and made sure that he knew both families love him and they almost even shared time with him. I think the understanding of what an adoptee feels, or being switched between homes feels, would make him and I great canidates for foster parents.

I know we're not anywhere close to being ready for a child, let alone foster care, but I'm the type of person that does her research (and a lot of it) before making decisions. So I have a few questions if you folks are nice enough to answer =)

1.) What age do you typically have to be in order to be a foster parent. (Not just babies or toddlers, I would actually prefer a school aged child; but I would always help whenever needed by whoever.)

2.) Do they descriminate against mixed race couples. I'm Caucasion and he's Haitian (dark skinned). Well, I guess what I'm really asking is: would we be fostering just mixed race children, or would we be able to foster any race child. Obviously, I don't care what race a child is, but I'm asking out of curiosity.

3.) If there are any foster parents here: What types of emotions go through your head while being a foster parent? I'm sure you would feel bad for a child that was neglected by their parents, and enraged when they got sent back to said parents. Could you give me an idea of what you feel?

4.) What type of training is necessary to be a foster parent and how long does that training typically take.

Please, I know the adoption section is, well, downright hostile at times. So please forgive me if I used the wrong terms of if I'm asking something that offends you, please tell me! I'm learning, that's my goal.

+Spell check was not working. So forgive me if I spelled something wrong.

Recently, I received a copy of a parenting magazine (it was sent to a girl who used to live in this house).

http://www.parents.com/parenting/adoption/stories/...

This is the article.

These families seem great; the adoptive couple seems great and they all kept their promise to an open adoption. However, no where on this did they state that open adoptions are not enforceable by law. An adoptive couple could back out of the open agreement at any time. I would hate to think that a woman read this and decided to put her baby up for adoption, chose an open adoption, and had it closed. It would be heartbreaking. I thought about writing them, but what do you guys think?

My boyfriend was adopted from a foreign country when he was a baby. He grew up going back and forth between his adopted parents in north carolina and his birth parents in his home country. His adoption was never a secret to him and he knows about both families/cultures/etc.

This is our problem: He was going to a private school and dropped out when he turned of age. They would not give him any of his documents, just an old I.D. This was 3 years ago and the I.D. has since been broken and is no longer useable.

I ordered his amended birth certificate from vitalcheck.com. First, they sent me a letter saying that his birth never happened. However, upon further inspection the website had searched the WRONG NAME. I was furious as I has already spend $65 (a ridiculous amount, mine is only $15). My mother called for us (as were both busy with school/work) she talked to a lady and she said that they do not do foreign birth certificates and that were going to have to call homeland security. The lady sent us a certificate of foreign birth, but that cannot be used as proof of citizenship.

What do I do now? He cannot even get a license because he has no proof of citizenship. He can also not get his social security card or an I.D.

I came here to ask if I really do have to go through homeland security. His adoption was finalized and he has an amended birth certificate with two american citizens as parents on it.

I believe that they thought that we were trying to get his REAL birth certificate or that we were trying to gain information on his adoption. They acted really shaddy. North Carolina Department of Vital Records even hung up on him!

They are giving us the run around. Who do I need to call and what do I need to say to get this done? and is this discrimination? It sure does feel like it to us.

I asked this here in hopes that an adopteee who experienced this could help us out. Thanks for your time.

My fiance and I have been together since we were in middle school. Now it's our senior year and were engaged. Were best friends and he is so very close with my family (especially my mom). As an infant he was adopted from his home country by a white family (he is black). They kept the adoption open and he still maintains contact with his real family. He was even allowed to spend months at a time living with his real family.

The reason I have bad feelings towards his adoptive mother is because of how she treats him. She does not approve of the "lifestyle" he is living (She is upset that he isn't going to church and that we are having sex before marriage *safe sex, mind you*). Honestly, I don't really care what she thinks.. but she tells his real family that we are doing really bad and that were going to end up in jail (we do NOTHING illegal). I know that his real mother is worried about her son but he is doing a lot better than she knows. I feel like his adoptive mother is trying to guilt trip him into being someone that he's not. He's a religious person but he feels like the people at his families church are fake. They are the type of people that are "more righteous than thou".

Well, thank Gosh, his family could finally afford a cell phone so now we can call them. His mother doesn't speak english but one of his siblings do (because his adoptive parents paid for his siblings school). I love them as if they were my own family. His sister even considers me a sister.

This isn't the only thing either. She makes him feel as if he should be grateful that he was adopted and that he should live the lifestyle SHE chose for him because SHE was nice enough to adopt him *PUKE*. He doesn't owe her anything... he respects her for raising him but he doesn't have to live a life that she chose for him.

It really makes me sad because it really hurts him. He feels like he is not good enough for her and it breaks my heart because to me, he is perfect and he should be to her too. He is a very respectable and intelligent young man and I wish she could see this.

How do I maintain a relationship with my soon to be mother in law? I'm not one to keep my mouth shut and if she tells him that he should be grateful to her, or if she even insinuates that, I will blow up. He doesn't owe her anything. She should have adopted him in his best interest.... not trying to complete her picture of a perfect family. I'm not her family and I will not sugar coat it. What should I do?? How do I deal with her? Should I just ignore her at family events?

Oh, and I'm not very good at pretending. I mean I can stand to be around her but I don't think I can handle having a conversation with her.

Please. Someone help!

We just moved across town. We filled out a change of address but it was lost in the mail (just my luck). It is me, my mom, and my boyfriend that live in this house. My mom's social security forms and my boyfriend and I's W-2s got thrown away by our landlord. This is the story:

Our landlord is crazy. My mother is disabled so my boyfriend and I stay with her to help her out. One day the landlord cursed my mom out and sent her in the house crying because we had "trash" in our yard. He said that the cigarette butts (there weren't many) were trashy looking... Anyways we picked them up to solve the problem. He had also failed to fix the electricity in the bathroom for over 6 months (yes we called him). We also have done our research and found out that he sues almost everyone that has lived in his houses. He is just a mean man and tried everything in his power to make our life's miserable. This is no exaggeration either.. He seems like he is on drugs and we KNOW that he is an alcoholic. We have seen him driving around downtown where a lot of the "crack houses" are & one of our 17 year old friends (we're 18) had been at his house and got drunk with him! His house was right across the street and there were tons of beer cans throughout his yard.

This isn't even the problem though; I'm just trying to give everyone an idea about what kind of man this is. Well we moved and filled out our change of address forms and for about a week we continued to check the mail at the old house. We had a pile of trashbags out in the yard so that we could arrange for them to be picked up (we have a small car and we couldn't have brought it ourselves). We have been waiting for our W-2's and when they didn't come to either house we got suspicious. We went to the post office and they didn't have them & they also informed us that they have NO record of our change of adress forms. So we filled new ones out and called the landlord about our missing mail. He failed to call us back. Yesterday my boyfriend and I went over to the old house to check our mailbox. When we arrived the landlord and three other men (there were 3 big trucks outside of our old duplex) were there. When he saw us he told us the house and mailbox were his and we had to leave. My boyfriend checked the mailbox anyways and asked him what he did with our mail. That is when he informed us that he had thrown it in with the trash that was sitting out in the yard. We had arranged for a trash company to come pick it up and they had taken it trash, mail, and all to the dump. Someone could have very easily (they might have) stolen any one of our identities. He also threw out all of our tax forms and my mom's social security information. My question to the community is... Is this a federal offence?

Can he get in trouble for throwing away tax/ SS information?

If so...

How do I go about filling charges?

Thank you to anyone who takes their time to help. This is a huge deal to us and has caused us a bunch of anxiety. Were so worried that someone took our Identities. We are a young couple not only trying to start a life together but we also have to take care of my disabled mom. If someone screws up our credit it could really put us in a prediciment. How would we get a house or a new car?? Thanks everyone!

I do, but I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone. Nowadays more parent's aren't allowing trick or treating, or limiting their children's candy. When I was younger it was like a challenge to get the most candy. Then you came home, traded with siblings, and stuffed yourself full of sweets. I know that much candy isn't healthy but one night a year isn't going to kill anyone. It also seems like more people are handing out healthy treats (which is good) but what kid really wants raisins for halloween? Shouldn't they get treats since it is a "holiday".?

I know things today aren't as safe as they used to be, but I think that some concerns are blown out of proportion. I mean... if you accompany your child, examine their candy, and bring a flashlight (among other things) they should have a good *safe* night.

What are your thoughts on this holiday? Do you plan on letting your children trick or treat? What kind of treats are you handing out?

&

Do you miss the way halloween was when you were little? I do.

Thanks for your time =)

What if it is...

A.) On the internet (like yahoo answers)

B.) Through the news paper

C.) Handing out cards to pregnant women or...

D.) Just straight out asking pregnant women if their considering adoption

Do you think any of these are right? Would you be offended if you were with child and someone asked you if you would consider giving them your baby? I just saw a question posted in adolescent asking the young women there if they were pregnant and if they would consider the couple for adoption. It made me kind of sick because it seemed like they were preying on the pregnant teens. I may be wrong though.. What is your opinion?

I have been going out with my boyfriend all through middle school and high school. Now that were older and both going to college we started talking about possibly starting a family. The thing is, he believes that he cannot be a father. He was adopted at a very young age from a very poor 3rd world country. His whole life his AP's have pretty much told him that he should be greatful that they even adopted him. They have told him that there is no way he will ever have a healthy relationship, and if he ever managed to get a wife and children that he would beat them. They have even went as far as to threaten to send him back because he was going through a rebellious stage!!! His adoptive parents were very mean to him and have even hit him with a closed fist before! He never did anything wrong, they were just extremely religious and punished him for simple things they considered sins. He was punished for not raising his arms in church, touching himself, or TALKING to the opposite sex. Other than those things (which is normal for ANY teenager) he was a good kid. His adoptive mom claims that he has reactive attachment disorder, which I know is very SERIOUS and effects a lot of adoptees. However I don't think he has RAD (I have dont my research). He has always known his birth mom and frequently calls his mom and siblings from my house. He always tells me stories about how much love his real mom and dad showed him. You can tell that his real mom and him have an amazing relationship and he is very much a mommas boy. However his adoptive mom has tried to make him out to be some kind of a monster. She said that he does not show her any kind of affection, but it's not true. She expects him to snuggle with her and give her kisses all the time! He is a teenage boy, he should not snuggle with his mom. He text her all the time (we don't have long distance) telling her that he loves her. Even though she rarely calls & whenever she does she puts him down about something. It really does make me sick to my stomach. He is such an amazing, well adjusted person considering what they have put him through. He has been in boarding schools all his life (including one that is notorious for beating children & has a total of 6 registered sex offenders working directly with the children). Because it is a "private" school the state cannot regulate what they do/teach. Luckily he is out of the private school and living a healty normal life with me. My question to the yahoo! answers adoption community is: How can I help him see himself for the amazing person he is Not the horrible person his AP try to make him out to be? Should I suggest getting him professional help? Are there any links you can give us that would help? Thanks in advance!

I have a 7 month old blue pit bull that is having problems. My boyfriend and I had always wanted a pitbull (we already have a 2 year old border collie), so when we got our dog Gracie we pretty much spoiled her silly (along with our collie who is very well behaved). Besides this little problem she is a relativly good dog.... she goes crazy if we leave her! We bring her on car rides and whenever my boyfriend or I get out of the car she goes nuts, even going as far to squeeze out a cracked window and follow us. This worries me because I don't want her getting ran over or worse... When one of us leaves she starts to bark very loudly, jump all over the car, and whine like she will never see us again. We have never left her in the car for more than 10 minutes, so I don't know why she reacts like this. Can anyone offer any suggestions? I don't want her to get out of the car and run away or get hit by a car while I'm inside a gas station or something. All advice is welcome =)

Long story short, I plan to go off my birthcontrol after I get out of school. I have been on it for a while (4 years) because of really bad periods. About how long should it take my to get my period back? I was on the patch, then the pill, and am currently on the nuvaring. Any information would be appreciated.

I really need a real estate agent to answer this, as that is what I am planning to go to college for. I was moving to my new house last night when a mirror fell off the door and hit me in the head. So today I am staying home even though it is the career fair! So if anyone can help me, I would appriciate it greatly.

These are the questions:

Name:

Career:

What is a typical day on the job like?

If you could go back in time would you still choose this career?

On average, what is the starting salery for this career?

What do you like most about your job?

What is the worst part of your job?

How much training or schooling did you need before starting your career?

Anything else that you feel is important would be great!

Thanks in advance.

My last months period (last week of feb) came late, and was very light. I think I only used 2 tampons and I dont think I really needed them. So I went ahead and took a pregnancy test (my first time ever taking one) and it was negative. Now (a week later) I am spotting a reddish brown color. Should I take another test? All help appriciated!

I had walking pnemonia earlier this month and had to go to the doctor. When he prescribed anitbiotics I asked for one that didnt interfere with my birth control. I was confident in my doctor and continued to take the medicine (while having sex). I have a live-in boyfriend and we probably had sex atleast every other night I was on the medicine (6 or 7 days). Last night (after 3 days of constant head aches, 3 leg cramps, and cramps in my lower abdomen *not when I usually PMS*) I decided to look the medicine up. Well I guess my doctor wasnt thinking to clear because they do effect birth control. My period is supposed to come February 29. My question is...

A.) Has anyone ever had this happen and what was the outcome?

B.) *experienced moms or moms-to-be* Do I sound pregnant to you?

C.) Do I have to wait untill the 29th to test for pregnancy?

Thanks for all your help.

P.S. I know that there is no what to know for sure untill I take a test, but please give me your opinion anyways.

Are there any teens (13-18) who breastfed their kids while going to high school? Or online school? What is your experience?

I dont know if this is typical, but my views on abortion have changed since I was younger. When I was 12 or 13 I thought that if I got pregnant (I wasnt having sex, so I couldnt have been) I wouldnt think twice about abortion. Now Im 15 I could never imagine having an abortion. I would rather take responsibilty for my actions and raise the child. Have your views changed as you got older?

-Please dont turn this into a pro life v. pro choice battle.

There is actually an add in my newspaper saying something along the lines of "Pregnant and confused? We are a good Christian couple looking to adopt." and then it list a number. I was curious as to if this was legal? I thought you had to go through the state or foster to adopt. All answers appriciated.

Thanks!

What age was your daughter when she needed her eyebrows waxed? Does age matter? What if she was really young with thick eyebrows? All opinions appriciated!

Sophia can either be a first or middle name.

Thanks!