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A question regarding adoption and/or legal guardianship...?
My relationship with a single mother ended very civilly after two and a half years. During that time, her son and I became very close and speak at least monthly, two years after the breakup. He is now fourteen and lives with his mom in Tennessee; I live in Denver.
I am in no way trying to take him away from his mother but need to establish some sort of legal ties for several reasons. First (and most important), I am the closest male figure he has had in his life and want him to have a 'father' of sorts (his biological father has been out of the picture since his birth and has a family of his own).
My second major concern is his mother's failing health. She has MS and it is not responding well to treatment. In case of the unthinkable, I need to know that he will be taken care of the way his mother would like him to be. Her parents and the rest of their family have never agreed with some of her choices and have never accepted me as a part of his life. I fear that if her family becomes the primary care giver for him that I will be pushed away and that her wishes for his future will be disregarded.
I know a lawyer will be needed at some point but am gathering as much information as possible. I have not spoken with his mother yet but know from previous conversations that she will be relieved that I want to take this role in his life. At this point, it is almost ceremonial - he will be 18 soon, but a lot can happen in four years.
What is my best option for securing legal rights for the child to ensure that I will be a part of his life and that he will be cared for properly?
Everything will be done with his mother's consent. We have spoken of adoption in the past but never started the legal process.
4 Answers
- BarryLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
The proper way to handle this is for the mother to have a will that names you as his guardian. That will take care of the issue after her death. A lawyer can help with that. You may also want to have the lawyer put a mechanism in place to cover the possibility that she is incapacitated but not deceased. This might be some sort of power of attorney. If you don't want to be the guardian, you can ask the mother to assign visitation rights to you just as is commonly done in a divorce situation.
As for maintaining a relationship with the boy until then, no legal documents are needed for that.
Good luck.
- 1 decade ago
If the ex is agreeable have her write a living will, designating you as his guardian in the event of her death.. Only if she doesn't have a will that designates you as his guardian will there be a lot of legal issues, the family can dispute the will but if she handles everything n ow with an attorney that agrees she is of sound mind at the time it will at least give you a chance,. Good luck and kudos that you want the responsibility, might want to consider moving back to TN though as the whole taking the boy to CO might become problematic. Or at least record period visits.
- 1 decade ago
You have no legal rights to this child so don't bother getting a lawyer. He's not your child so the decisions aren't yours to make.
If your ex-gf wants to make you his guardian, then it is up to her to make it legal.
- 1 decade ago
the best thing is to have her give you custody in her will. even then the family can contest it. if it is really that big of an issue with you marry her and adopt him.
