Question from a 20 year old boy trying to win his ex girl back?

How to get back with your ex girlfriend as soon as possible is the question that so many guys want to know, but the reality of the situation is not really what most guys want to hear. You need to think about the whole situations logically. If you want to get your ex back you have to do things the right way. The problem that most men have is that they are flooded with emotions that they aren't used to feeling on a day to day basis, so they have no idea how to deal with them. In the end they usually make their situation even worse by acting on these out of control emotions.

The first thing that you have to realize is that your ex girlfriend wants change in her life. When people want change they are usually looking for something better. Not something worse. You need to look at the condition you are in. Is your home clean and organized? Are your dressing your best everyday? Are you showering everyday? Do you think that begging and groveling for your ex girlfriend to take you back is going to work? It won't, because she wants something better and you are presenting yourself as desperate, lonely, and pathetic. Trust me, the sympathy path does not lead to getting your ex back in your arms. You will only push her further away.

What you need to do instead is focus on yourself and making your life better. First you need to clean up your life. Clean your place up as if you are going to have company over everyday and you want to make a good first impression. Dress your best and if you need to, go buy a new wardrobe. Start finding new and exciting things to occupy your time. Get your friends to join you so you aren't alone and have support. Your goal is to avoid your ex for a few weeks in order to get her attention. If she ever felt anything for you at all she will want to know how you are.

Deep down she knows that you are having a difficult time with the break up and she is expecting it. She will say that she wants you to be happy, but the reality is that she wants to see that you are miserable without her. Who doesn't want to feel wanted?

What you want to accomplish is show her that you have moved on with your life and are fine. However, you need to be careful and not be a jerk to her. What you want to be is more indifferent. Be polite and ask her how she has been doing. Simply make small talk, but make sure that you end it soon by saying that you have to be somewhere, but would love to catch up another time. Don't set a fixed date. Keep it questionable that you will actually meet with her such as telling her maybe in the next day or so.

Learning how to get back with your ex girlfriend is very similar to the tactics that you would use in dating. You don't want to come across as being a push over because she will not be attracted to that. You need to present yourself with a higher value that she didn't see when you were dating. You need to spark her interest in you to save your relationship, and by feeling sorry for yourself you will not accomplish that. Remember that everyone wants what they can't have. You just need to figure out how to use that to your advantage.

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First, create some distance between you. This means leaving her alone for a while. Stop all contact. Don't go to places where you know she is. Just leave her alone. Suffer quietly and get busy.

You are 20 and she is how old?

Next, since you have already pointed out your flaws, it's time to start correcting them. Look for a job. Were you going to school? If not, what were you doing and where did you get money to do things? You need to act like a responsible adult now. Get a job that you will stay with for a long time, and start working. This will straighten out a lot of things.

Next, establish yourself, find a place to live. You didn't say where you lived but you said something about getting a place. I am just wondering where you are now?

If some weeks go by and you don't hear from her, don't give up and bother her. Maybe she needs more time. Just stay away. That means no emailing, chatting, or reading her online places. Just stop all contact. And make sure she is not reading your online places too. Don't play games like a child, act like an adult.

If you do not hear from her for 6-8 weeks, then it is getting serious. She may have found someone better than you. But even if she did, this is not necessarily a permanent condition. If 2-3 months go by, then you can start looking for a temporary female friend. You can be seen with her, where your ex or her friends might see you. This will send the idea that you have moved on, and you are no longer sitting there doing nothing and waiting for her. If she has any interest in you at all, this will make her panic and contact you. But you should be honest and see what she wants. Too many people are always trying to overpower and control their special person. It can never work.

If she knows you are with someone else and she makes no attempt to contact you, then she may be gone forever. But after all that time, you should be working and having an income, and a place to live and other normal things. Some other woman will see you and be interested in you.

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Wow - I'm surprised that she stayed with you at all. She obviously loves you. So, to answer your question, you have a very slim shot at getting her back - but not in the near future.

Yes, get a job and get your dignity back. By all means, sober up and take control of your life. You put her through some stuff that no 20-year old should put any woman through. Learn the lesson here. Even if you never get her back, changing the way you are will make you better material for the next woman in your life.

Love always prevails. If you both really love each other, then there is a possibility that you can get this girl back. But it is going to take ALOT of work on your part. You sound really clingy and needy. No woman wants a man who is like that. So work on that first.

It is possible that she left you in the hopes that you will get it together so you two can have a life together in the future.

Ok so I don't think I need to say you messed up big. But what I think is that you need to make some self improvements before you can win her back. Get a job, get a place, and clean your self up. When you see her act like a friend no talk about the past no drama. I didn't think my hubby could change and he did and we have been married for 7 years. You need to have some respect for yourself and grow up a little. Get your life together and then approach her, tell her you have changed (and actually change) and ask if you can take her on a date, take it slow and prove it to her. Let her have a life, and support it. If you love her you need to make some serious changes and if when you approach her again she says no, act like an adult and say ok. and tell her if she changes her mind you are there. Ask if you can be friends and try and get back in her life that way, no tears, yelling or whining it wont win her back!

Tomorrow When The War Began by John Marsden Its a good series. Red Storm Rising by Tom Clancy He may like it, not too sure. If he likes star wars the get him Hard Contact by Karen Traviss. Its far grittier, darker and morally challenging than your average Star wars book. Any of the James Bond books. He may like some Sherlock Holmes stories. He may like some Matthew Reilly books, go for Seven Ancient Wonders or Hover Car Racer. Although I strongly recommend Seven Ancient Wonders.

A lot of people believe that there are ways for getting your ex back!

There are some things you can do or not do that will increase your chances of getting back your ex.

Here is a great website on how to get your ex back. Check it out if you are interested:

http://www.exbackguides.com/

Sorry to say this. But I don't think that its gonna happen again.

To be honest the only way to be appealing boyfriend material again is to be one. Usually that means actually moving past this break up. Its going to be tough, don't get me wrong but once she's made up her mind that's it.

Maybe a few years down the track there's hope but for now I'd say forget it and live your life. Learn to be your independent self again :]

CHANGE! clean up your acts and get a life, not for this girl but more importantly for yourself, your own self esteem and sense of worth.

If you re happy within yourself she will see this and will want you back

Whip out your penis, put it on a platter and say "Dinner is served". Saw that on a porno, and it seemed to work.

Nah serious, i totaly agree with the first answer, couldnt add much, so i attempted a joke.