Jehovah's Witnesses & Others Willing To Help- What Bible Principles Apply In This Situation....?

You, or whoever this is about, needs to stop the situation now. Don't be timid, and don't worry about anyone's "feelings", just end it. He is trying to get close to you, and you being his sounding board is only encouraging it.

How would it look to others if this guy comes over regular, for who knows how long.They would think, rightly so, that you two have something going. And, what if the other woman saw it? It just gets more and more ugly. Nothing good could possibly come from letting it continue.

End it, tell him point blank that it was an unkindness on his part to burden you with all this crap, and that he is not welcome to come by anymore.

I am so pleased you asked former Jehovah's Witnesses to answer this question. Otherwise, how could you ever find out why they left? There are some interesting answers from your spiritual brothers and sisters - but not one of them has come up with the obvious. While I was a Jehovah's Witness, I also thought I had the true religion and there was no way I was ever going to leave it. That would be really stupid, wouldn't it, to leave what you believed to be true that gave you peace of mind. Neither did I leave because I was immoral or someone stumbled me or I simply didn't want to live up to the Bible's high standards. I wasn't mixing with worldly people, I didn't take up smoking or drinking. In fact, I was pioneering and I was married to a pioneer. So why did I leave? You need to understand that my parents became Witnesses in the 1930's, and that I knew nothing other than what Jehovah's Witnesses believed. We were all expecting the end of 6,000 years of man's existence to end in the fall of 1975 (I can provide the Watchtower quotations if you doubt me) and that meant Armageddon would come soon after. My parents believed they were the generation that would see the fulfilment of the end-time prophecies in Matthew 24 and that they would be alive when the Millennial reign of Christ started. None of us made any of this up. We all believed what the Society told us. Guess what? This prophecy was false - we're still waiting, 33 years later. This is the reason I left - false prophecies about dates and predictions when 6,000 years of human existence will end. Any peace of mind I had was shattered when I realised the extent to which I had been mislead. I am now a born-again Christian with a heavenly hope and I praise God that, through the Holy Spirit, he brought me to a place of repentance and forgiveness. Religion does not save. Only Jesus Christ can do that.

Most of the answers here are good but they still avoid the situation. You can not run away and hope that things will be OK tomorrow. The situation has to be addressed with the person involved directly. Yes tell others and get help from others so you are and can feel protected.

But very soon, sit down with the person concerned (with your boyfriend or other friend nearby) and quietly explain the situation that you do not feel comfortable with them talking about their girlfriend/wife in the way he has been and that you feel uncomfortable that he comes so often without your boyfriend there. You should not make him feel guilty, just allow him to see that his actions are upsetting you. This direct honesty will show him that you have no interest in his revelations about his woman or in his new closeness with you. If he is any sort of decent person, he will understand and pull back without being offended. As you only want to stop this situation from escalating and not any hurt feelings, this approach is the only way to address this. The truth will set you free.

Dear Vot , I am not going to give you bible based information , I have seen you on here a lot & I know you know right from wrong & what bible based principles to apply . My comments are from personal experience .

Why is this man confiding about his wife to you ? To get your sympathy .

Why does he come over when your boy friend is not there ? Because if he feels the time is right & you feel sorry for him enough he will have the chance to seduce with no one around so if you reject him & tell your boy friend he can say you are a liar.

If this person is really the friend of your boy friend why can he not talk too your boy friend about it ?

Do not trust what he say's about his wife & do not allow yourself to be alone with this man , it could back fire in your face , cut these people out of your life.

Discuss it with your boy friend because a relationship is based on trust & if you loose your boy friend over it because he believes his friend more than you , then loosing him would be a good thing , even if it hurts for a while.

That's how I would handle this situation if it where real.

Friendship means nothing to many people now a days & many would not think twice about making a move on a friends wife , partner or boy/girl friend.

Why do I feel this is happening to you or someone you know ?

First, tell the man 'friend' you can't listen to his confidences any more. Tell him it's upsetting you and he needs real help, not just a listening ear. Then give him the name and phone number of a therapist. Honey, he will run for the hills screaming. Men like him hate the thought that any problem might be their fault. And yes, he is definitely coming on to you. I've been there, it's an ugly place.

At this point, I would also avoid personal association with his 'woman'. Mercy... do men still think they own us? If you start going shopping etc. with her again, he will think you've "gone over to her side". Give it some time. Then you might ask the wife to go with you to the movies or something, if you really don't want to lose the friendship altogether.

This is not you, Vot, I know that. But your acquaintance should start some communication with her 'man'. There, got 'em. She has to know something is going wrong in the relationship. Of course, if all of you are Jehovah's Witnesses, this needs to be taken to an elder or mature sister. But my suggestion of therapy still stands.

Hmmm. I wonder if,, lets see, the wrong place, at the wrong time.... (bear with me Vot, im thinking out loud here) If one of either of the two just happen to walk up on man B talking to You...

Man, the way things go on in the world and the way things could look to others, well the situation I see that comes to mind would be Joseph who was Potiphar's slave in his own house, Well I mean could you see how that might look?

As Innocent as Joseph was he was in the wrong place @ the right time & served how many years in prison for a (rape) crime he didn't commit? Nah it isn't worth even being put into that situation.

Joseph- wrong place wrong time = prison

Dinah- wrong place wrong time = raped, families killed, Father ashamed and embarrased

David-wrong place wrong time= wanting something you cant have, had a man killed over it

So i personally would tell the gentleman (if he's that) Politely I would not want to put myself in any compromising situation that could cause the wrong thoughts of individuals of any of the party's involved. Therefore looking out for the benefit or advantage of the other person.(1 Cor 10:23).

And seriously tell him that he would have to confide personal matters in someone else.

Vot, your friend has been treated very badly. Because she doesn't even know, to acknowledge or defend herself. Dont compound that by hearing him out and believing it. It's impossible to unring a bell, I know.

Advise him to go to a marriage counselor. who will work to help him resolve. Not a friend, since you now have feel differently about his girlfriend, and cannot break his confidence to hear her out. Tell him this.

Also, if she saw him stopping over at your place, and your distancing away from her... She might reach a different conclusion.

I know this is a 'what if' question. But things like that happen often enough and it's hard to be fair.

First of all Vot, the only reason that the man would be downgrading his woman to another woman (you) .. is because he is interested in you. It's the old "my wife doesn't understand me" scenario.

It elevates you above his woman & is in order to make you feel special to him.

No Bible verses needed in this case, the fact that your conscience knows it wrong is a good enough reason to tell him that he must not come over again unless your boyfriend is there.

Be firm. If he ignores your request, then threaten to tell the woman about everything that he has said & that should be enough, or you could threaten to tell the elders if he's a JW. Oh, and you could resume shopping with her as most of what he's told you is likely to be untrue or highly exagerated.

(I know it's hypothetical but I responded as if it was really about you)

Vot needs to share this information with someone. Preferably an elder. Because it sounds as though the man is making advances towards Vot. This could be a serious situation. And needs prompt action.

One article stated:

It is particularly important to guard against flirting when it comes to married people. To signal romantic interest in a married person—or for a married person to show such interest in someone outside the marriage bond—is wrong. Sadly, some Christians have held the mistaken belief that it is acceptable to cultivate romantic feelings for members of the opposite sex other than their mate. Some reveal their innermost concerns to such a “friend,” even confiding private thoughts that they do not share with their mate. As a result, romantic feelings have blossomed into an emotional dependency that may undermine and even destroy a marriage. Married Christians do well to remember Jesus’ wise warning about adultery—it begins in the heart. (Matthew 5:28) Let us, then, safeguard the heart and avoid situations that could lead to such ruinous results.