why do I hurt so much?

Any man who cheats on his spouse and lies about money doesn't love his wife. sure if you divorce him you will regret it, one always does. but when you finally see the real him and realize he wasn't who you thought he was you will do just fine. Have you spoken to him about how you feel? you love who you thought he was and who you had hoped he was but in reality life is too short to constantly not be able to trust the most important one in your life. Trust is the glue that holds the relationship together and without that, its really not going to work out. Its hard to make the decision to file for divorce because in a way its admitting failure, and its the end of something you don't want to end, because women always fear their future, but we shouldn't because I have found that when one door closes another will open.

perhaps there is something missing in your married life. maybe it has gotten dull. maybe he likes the stimulation others give him but not wanting too leave you or the kids or the money he'd have to fork out in a divorce. Try getting to the root of the problem have a talk with him. tell him you want to be there for him and what is it that your missing to make things better. I would try all avenue's before jumping the gun. as far as is it a mistake that is your decison. No one can predict the future without out your spouce and how you will fair in life.

I do know that love is important to most people and if your not getting your needs you will find it elsewhere. Look at dennis hopper he is 73 dieing of prostate cancer and is divorcing his wife now he rather be with his loved ones at this time. So sometimes being together isnt' enough if you don't feel the love you require in life. when all is said and done most dont' realize this till something tragic comes into there lives and they can serious understand what is really imporant in the end. its not how many cars you have or how big of a house that counts. the soul yearns for the real deal.

Cyber affairs, of the heart, hurt as much as ones done face to face. Lies are a deal breaker in a marriage, especially about money. Yes, I would divorce him because I deserve better treatment than that. I deserve a man who will love me and me alone and cherish me as valuable to him enough not to hurt me like that. I had a man that got 3 women pregnant during our marriage, knowing that I could not get pregnant. He had 2 kids by a previous marriage and was not just trying to get more, he confessed he just wanted to have sex with a variety of women. They all had abortions eventually; however, I still chose to leave him. 1. I did not want to be a part of abortions in any way 2. I loved me more than I loved him and that is being a healthy person.

It will be a right decision the first good nights sleep you get and wake up without the headache and heart ache of wondering what he is or has done or lied about. You will feel free of worry and able to concentrate on giving yourself to those who deserve your attention. No, you will not regret divorcing him because you freed yourself up to meet someone else who will show you how special you are. You spouse loves himself more than you and that is why he is able to lie to you so easily and in some cases, he is only with you to help take care of him. Pay bills and the like. Good luck loving yourself more than anyone else....that is healthy.

Divorce is hard because its designed to be, and sway you away from doing going through with it. You need to look at how long you want to spend hurting, the time that you've put into the marriage and it can be salvaged if he changed. You will hurt when going through a divorce and you will miss him, but why make your self miserable in a relationship that there is a lot of lying and hurting. Im not trying to tell you to go one way or the other just take a step back and think about it all before you decide and stick with that decision. GOOD LUCK!

well wnhy is he having cyber affairs? Men do that for a reason, maybe he is looking for someone else, or maybe he is hooked to them on the net because he craves someone else to give him love and attention, it makes him feel wanted. My husband before we married was doing something similar, i caught him online chatting with girls and giving out his number, i was devestated thinking why did he do that and does he want someone else. We ended up working it out, we got married and he has given it up and been perfect ever since, so i know exectly how you feel.

if he is cheating on you and u know it, then leave him, you deserve better.Divorce is never easy, you have to think really about what is wrong in the marriage and can it be fixed. If you cant trust him, then u got nothing and may aswell get rid of him now. tell him whats going on and why he is lying? be honest with him about how u feel and see what he says, then go from there. goodluck

There is a horrifying hadith of Prophet(pbuh) I have no idea the distinctive phrases however the hadith is that If a Muslim see an oppression and makes a decision to not do something approximately it, does not condemn the acts of the oppressor through his middle or through his speech have the bottom degree of Emaan.

imagine 20+ years like this.

cheating

lying

stealing

deceit

you may love him or you may just be scared to follow your instincts.

i totally understand that you are having cold feet. i would too. i mean so much is invested into a marriage. it's hard to get back out there.

but......

when you live life the way you want.....

it's a breeze of fresh air. you're free. you're light. : )

i guess i would like that life more than one of pain and burden.

if you'll live to be 500 then stick it out with him. ; )

1Pe 3:1 In the same way you wives must submit yourselves to your husbands, so that if any of them do not believe God's word, your conduct will win them over to believe. It will not be necessary for you to say a word,

1Pe 3:2 because they will see how pure and reverent your conduct is.

1Pe 3:3 You should not use outward aids to make yourselves beautiful, such as the way you fix your hair, or the jewelry you put on, or the dresses you wear.

1Pe 3:4 Instead, your beauty should consist of your true inner self, the ageless beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of the greatest value in God's sight.

1Pe 3:5 For the devout women of the past who placed their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful by submitting themselves to their husbands.

1Pe 3:6 Sarah was like that; she obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are now her daughters if you do good and are not afraid of anything.

1Pe 3:7 In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are more delicate than you. Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, God's gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.

1Pe 3:8 To conclude: you must all have the same attitude and the same feelings; love one another, and be kind and humble with one another.

1Pe 3:9 Do not pay back evil with evil or cursing with cursing; instead, pay back with a blessing, because a blessing is what God promised to give you when he called you.

if you want to be happy, think for yourself and dont think of how you'll please him. he'd given you enough heart aches...

you'll find a better/wonderful man out there who's willing to love you much more..

a man who lies and cheats and woes for other women isnt a man... he's still a little boy.