What would you do if after 10 years there is still no ring?

Two children, probably under ten-years-old have the absolute priority in your relationship. Surely you understand that they are the real purpose of a father-mother-home circle. After ten years you feel stuck, I felt stuck, everyone feels stuck. You're feeling unfulfilled because you were cheated out of a church wedding? If you were a church-girl, you wouldn't have jumped into bed without the rings, right? Again, two children need to be protected with lots of love in a home that has their father and mother. Two children.

Girl....i was with my now hubby from our freshman year in college 97' then we FINALLY married in 2006. By then we had had a 3 yr old, and both finished school a couple years earlier. There was pressure from family and friends and questions of why we weren't married, we were "shacking" up, it was a sin, we were blocking blessings. I began believing it all and contemplated giving him an ultimatum. I prayed about it and thought more and decided I KNEW he loved me and didn't desire to be anywhere else and we had spoke on occassion about getting married someday. I wondered when, but we continued to live together after we had our first son, after all if it's not broke don't fix it. I figured he would one day, I thought maybe he wanted to save his money for a nice ring (i already had two promise rings; after the second one i told him i didn't want any more). He eventually proposed and we set a date! He says he wanted to wait until he knew in his heart he was ready. I respected that and my decision to wait for him. It was my choice. Just like it's yours. If he has no desire to be married, it may be time to rethink what YOU want and what will make YOU happy, which is the best gift you can give your children.

I don't think it matters if you have the ring or not. I've got the ring, but I still don't feel engaged. He won't set a date, he's been lying to me, the sex sucks, I don't feel "in-love" with him, I love him, he is sweet but I really don't see us getting married and it seemed to fall apart after I got the ring.

Ten years is a long time not to get married and why would he, he's got his cake and can eat it too. If you really want to get married, tell him, it's time to get married, or it's over, but don't put it like that. Never give them an ultimatum. Just think about it, do you really want this man in your life, for the rest of your life.

You know he'll always be a part of your life because you have children together, but does he treat you with respect, integrity, honor, love, support you emotionally, stand by you, you get the idea, you really need to look deep inside yourself and ask yourself some of these things, and if he's not doing these things, you deserve better.

There is someone out there that will give you everything you deserve and you owe yourself to be happy, because if you are happy, your children will be happy too. They pick up on our vibes, and emotions.

Good luck!

Aww sweetie...you have to do what you feel is best for you. I waited 6 and I believe it actually happen because I was so ready to leave and I told him that but know I often wonder the truth behind the marriage because obviously he didn't just do it out of the blue without my nagging and not constant just maybe every 6 months or so. We had kids so I know the stuck feeling but you deserve the best and to get back what you are putting out. If he doesn't want to get married then he doesn't its up to you how long you are willing to put up with it.

Just do it for the right reasons, not because you are comfortable, or because other people are doing it, not because you feel that you have invested so much time and not because you have kids...kids are smarter than we think.

Good Luck

one part of me wants to say "I would have ran a longgggg time ago" The other part of me feels like (being married myself) marriage isn't all that great really and its probably best you never were married if he makes you so miserable. You shouldnt feel stuck at all (you aren't married after all) just because you have kids together doesnt mean you have to stay with him. wouldnt your kids rather you be happy and not with him than with him and miserable. Set an example for your kids so they dont end up in the same situation. Besides if you leave, maybe he'll come to his senses and give you a ring and step up the romance. like they say you dont know what you've got till its gone.

Sorry i dont get it... i mean this man live with you since 10 years now... he wanted to children with you... and you are not happy ??? means nothing to be married sweetie... what count is that this man is with you... if you need a litle bit more romance why dont you initiate some... wait for him with a dinner with candles and wine... surprise him.. do things special... it will surely gives him idea but it will do alot more then that to you... because at the end of the day, you will have have your romance moment dont you think ? please try to be happy there is so many divorce... so many cheaters out there... he is in your bed every single night... and you are in his bed every single night... kiss each other and be happy guys... having a long term relationship might at times... be less romantic its to one or the other to spice it up a ltile bit... if your the one in that need, just start it... youll see it will do miracle to your man and to you... he too needs to feel love as we all do...

I guess if i were in your shoes and i was at a time. I left my first childs dad and found a great man and we were married a year after we started seeing each other. I couldnt see myself with my first childs father for the rest of my life. I love him for giving me a beautiful baby but my husband is the one that i want to spend the rest of my life with. Hope this helps.

Well, when you settle for less than you deserve, you get exactly what you settle for....

I have a close friend who was with a man for 30yrs that never married her. She did have to get a legal divorce when she finally woke up & decide to make decisions for herself. 2 grown boys now, yet they are her kids who treat her like their father does/did (total disrespect)... And thousands of dollars to fight him in court for joint property & everything, because he feels nothing is hers since he "never married her"!!!

Question for "ME"... do you have children with your boyfriend?

As they say: Why buy the milk...

Move on. With a man like that, he's never going to change and you will be miserable and feel like you are wasting your life away on this commitmentphobe!

When you put the cart before the horse you can't expect to get anywhere.

So why should you be surprised....you were willing to play marriage and have children without that ring, so why should it change now.