How can i get thru to my son?

So which is it did you leave him or did his seperate you two? First step in gaining trust is being trustworthy. Be honest about your part in being seperated from your son. As far as your husbands part that is on him. Keep this about you and your son. What other things are you doing that show you being honest, responsible, and faithful? You also need to realize you cannot make up for time lost. No one can. He wil never be 12, or 14 or 16 again. He will never graduate from high school again or go to his prom. Accept the fact that that time is gone. It is sad and it hurts. Now look past all that. You have today and tommoroow and God willing a lot more days ahead.Let him know that you accept responsibility for causing him pain. Even though you cannot have days past back you both can agree that you don't want to add any more days to that list. Let him know you are interested in his life. Perhaps you can start by lunch once a month, emails. There is a lot of catching up to do. Maybe he feels you didn't try hard enough to stay in his life before. How hard are you willing to try now? Does he know that? Are you looking for him to heal your pain or you trying to heal his? What is it about him and his life you want to know? Make a list. whenever opportunuty presents itself you will have those questions fresh you mind. I will pray for you both.

You already said it - he has to learn to trust you again. That will take a lot of work on your part. Now that he is a grown man, he may be more willing to give you another chance, but you must let him know that you will never stop trying. Remember his birthday and make it a big celebration, send him cards for all occasions like Valentine's Day and Thanksgiving. Include him in as many family activities as possible and always introduce him to others with enthusiasm and pride.

I know you must hurt, but apparently you brought it on yourself, so now you have to make every effort to right the wrong. Counseling for the two of you would really be great, but I know it may be hard to convince your son of that. Never give up trying because one day he will recognize the effort you have put into bettering your relationship, and he will once again give you the love and trust that you have earned. I will be praying for you.

So you're saying that it was the father that didn't let you have any contact with your son? Then you have to let him know that in a way that doesn't hinder his relationship with his father. Let him know you wanted to be there for him, but couldn't for whatever reasons. Tell him you are, if you were dealing with things, better know and are able to focus your attention on him. Tell him that yes, you are his mother and you love him and you have a right to try and be in his life.

You do have to respect his wishes though, whatever they may be. Just keep showing him you care. Work things out with the father to get his help in easing your son's feelings about you. I'm close to your son's age and I can tell you that it is just frustrated anger that he has developed because you have been away for so long from his life.

I really do hope this helps.

All you can do is let him know how you feel and then give him time. Let him sort it out for himself, in his mind and in his heart. If you come on too strong you will force him to withdraw. These things take time. Send him a heartfelt letter, explaining to him how you wanted to see him, how you thought of him all those years. Let him know that when he is ready you will be there for him. And then you just wait. It will be tough. But he has to be ready. He will give you another chance. You are his Mom. Try to be patient. I know it won't be easy. But at the end of the day, everyone wants their Mom.

I'm guessing you were unable to care for him as a mother when he was a child because of circumstances (ie. mental health, addiction, crime). If you are now able to have a healthy, loving family relationship with him, put your feelings in writing and send him a letter. Explain how you have changed, what you feel for him, ask for his forgiveness and a chance to be in his life now.