Shouldn't I be happy for someone else to be pregnant?

Honey, your feelings are absolutely normal, and I think I would question you if you WEREN'T feeling this way. Yes, because you had a miscarriage, that will play a part in your bad feelings, but I think you'd have bad feelings even if you didn't have the miscarriage since those two present themselves to be a couple jackasses (openly cheating on each other, does your husband's cousin even know if the baby is really his or not?). I feel the same way you do about certain people having good things happen to them when I don't think they deserve it, but that's for God to decide, I guess. I have to tell myself that all the time, or I'd be stuck in a jealous rage every day of my life. Keep trying for your baby hun, it WILL happen for you, and you guys will be so happy you'll forget about how bad you felt today. Good luck, dear.

I know exactly how you feel. I had a miscarriage and told my family and the next day my husband's cousin called to tell me her GREAT news, she was pregnant. She even was going to use the same name I was going to use for my baby. I didn't think that it was fair I knew I would be a good mom and that she wasn't ready for a child. She would call me every time she would get something new for the baby, and it hurt really bad. No one was sympathetic about my miscarriage I felt like I went through it alone, I still hurt from time to time thinking about it and it has almost been a year. Well later on my husband's cousin also had a miscarriage and she eventually told me how sorry she was for rubbing her news in my face because she finally understood why I was so depressed and jealous. Good Luck to you and I am sorry for your loss. Baby Dust to you in your future.

Oh hun *hugs!* It sucks, doesn't it? It's totally normal for you to feel this way right now. You just lost your baby, and I am so sorry for you guys. It just brings up all your feelings of sadness when someone else announces they are pregnant, and especially when those people haven't exactly acted like they should. Right now, it is totally okay for you to be upset and not want to talk to others about it.

Unfortunately, people don't know how to act around someone who just had a miscarriage.

I have PCOS and it took us 18 months to get pregnant. During that time, my SIL and BIL got pregnant and had a baby and never realized we were TTC; they openly complained about the morning sickness and the tiredness, and they never knew how much it hurt me. Lots of prayer and trying to be supportive was all I could do.

My advice would be to forget about the cousin for right now and just grieve your own loss in whatever way you need to. Then, try and be congratulatory if not excited. Good luck dear!

I so understand how you feel - there are a few **** I'd like to kick as well after my miscarriage and that was 6 months ago.

While it is true people don't know what to say after a miscarriage unless they've been through it, I do not think most deserve such an excuse. It does not take a genious to understand what it MIGHT feel like to lose your baby. People make a bigger deal out of losing a family pet than they do about the loss of human life. Does an unborn life become human when it is born? When it is wanted? When it reaches a certain size or stage of development? If so, what it is prior to that? A kitten, a puppy, a green bean? Of course not. It is human life, it was your precious child, and that is why it hurts so damn much.

People who haven't experienced it don't understand it isn't just the loss of pregnancy, the loss of a future imagined child that hurts so much - it is that tiny heartbeat that stopped, the end of that particular life. Your child only belonged to you for such a very short time, and you never got a chance to hold them. It is like being kicked in the gut, cheated - and everybody else is on some other planet where life is cheery and losing a parking place is a major problem. Not to mention everybody suddenly seems pregnant. (I guarantee you after a miscarriage you don't go around complaining about morning sickness with the next pregnancy.)

I have a pregnant family member who has not spoken to me since the miscarriage because she "feels guilty" and doesn't know what to say. I say she needs to get over it, stop making it about her, and send a simple card with six simple words: "I'm so sorry about your loss." That's it - it is called an acknowledgment, and it really makes things better. You and I know that. Other people need to be told.

I recommend reading an online article on ehow called "How to Help Parents: Stillbirth, Miscarriage, Pregnancy and Infant Loss: by Saveurdimes. Then print it out and give it to your family members. I did it, and my mother in law has really come around in understanding a little better what we are going through.

I get angry beyond belief that people who know we tried so long and hard for a baby would not behave in some small way that shows me they care - yet continue to expect me to care about the most trivial of problems in their lives. I can only think my world needs educating, one person at at time.

The only thing that is keeping my husband and I sane is planning a simple, sweet memorial for our baby girl the first day of Spring, and naming her the name we love and wanted to call her after she was born. There is a book called "Naming the Child" by Jenny Schroedel, which I ordered on Amazon, and it is amazing. It will confirm for you your grief is there for a good reason - it is because you are a good mother. We defend our children when people mistreat them - and when people ignore our loss, they mimize the baby we loved - and we feel we need to defend them as well. It is called being a good parent. I really hope you take care of yourself - write, find people who will listen (tell them they might feel a little uncomfortable but you need to tell your story just like women who have their baby want to tell theirs) and keep affirming for yourself that miscarriage is not an act of God - it is an act of nature. It is not God's way of picking and choosing parents - he simply doesn't work that way. The more you focus on honoring your baby the less angry you feel - but you'll still have times you want to kick some *** - I wish I could come help you. Love, hugs and prayers to you. You are not alone.

Miscarriages are hard. when I miscarried and went back to work three days after it happene, not even 10 minutes after I got there a very pregnant woman walked in the door. I almost started bawling but couldn't be mad at her, it wasn't her fault that I lost my baby. I know it's hard not to be upset but you can't blame them for what has happened. Only time will help your heart heal.

Sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Give yourself time to grieve. It's awful that other people are treating so horrible. It can be so infuriating when others are so callous to your pain. You had a real loss and anyone who tells you different needs a swift kick.

As for the other couple, I know it seems unfair. When I had my miscarriage, my nurse was 7 months pregnant. I wanted to lash out at her for her happiness. Everyone around me seemed to be pregnant. It was heartbreaking.

This is perfectly understandable. Especially so close to your miscarriage. I missed my favorite band in concert last week and I don't let my friends who went talk about it around me. Same thing, but yours is on a much larger scale.