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Is it fair to have to decide between siblings?
In the past couple of years dads closet of secrets blew open. He has other kids from women in his past. My life went from a brother, and sister to 9 total. I've met all of them and I have bonded with them and their families (we are all grown). My immediate sibling however want nothing to do with them. That's fine but now they are drawing the line about me inviting ALL my brothers and sisters to my home for family functions. I love them but they are being unfair to my family and kids in asking they not know ALL their aunts and uncles, cousins, etc.. I've let it be known that ALL are invited to my home, those who don't wish to come, don't have to. My home is open to all. Its caused an uneasiness with my immediate sibling and I feel guilty, Did I do the right thing?
6 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I think that you did do the right thing. Your immediate sibling has every right to not get to know these other sibling, but you also have every right to build your own relationships with them. As long as you aren't inviting people to other family member's homes or events then you are fine.
You are not betraying your immediate sibling by accepting these other siblings into your life. It sounds to me that your immediate sibling may be harboring some sort of fear of change, or resentment toward the parent you share with these other siblings or other issues that they are having a difficult time dealing with, and that is fine, but it's something he has to work through and you should not feel guilty for the fact that you are able to move beyond any issues you may have in order to embrace your family.
Just make sure that you still make time to spend time with your immediate sibling and make sure he knows that the bond you share from the years of knowing each other and growing up together is not any less that it was just because you found out that you have more siblings.
Source(s): I have siblings that still don't know I exist. - KayLv 41 decade ago
you for sure did the right thing in opening your home, I understand that your immediate brother is feeling uneasy, it is a very hard thing you did. but you should stand your ground, just invite everyone you want to- no one will be forcing your brother to attend. Just be sure to do it nicely and maybe have some one on one time with your Bro so you two stay close as well.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
No, it isn't fair to have to choose between siblings.
One family function that only full siblings (or those raised as such) should be together is your mother's birthday. Start off with low key functions that won't cause resentment if they are missed. (ex-"I missed Dad's birthday party because you invited "them".-might cause resentment)
Until your full siblings are ready to blend with the other siblings, you might need two types of family functions. Be brave. Good luck!
Source(s): A large complex family - $m@rty P@nt$Lv 51 decade ago
Yah i would say you did!!! thats wonderful that you can take it that way and want you all to be together!
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- 1 decade ago
yes your doing the right thing ! if they don't think the same way then just don't go!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
no,u dont
