Problem with Husband?

You are not a child, and your husband is behaving like an idiot. YES, he is very insecure but apparently there is no basis for this. As far as "letting" you do this or do that, I have to ask you, why are you allowing this? Are you afraid to stand up to him? You say he hasn't been abusive to you, yet you act as though you are afraid that he will become abusive if you don't go along with everything the way he wants it to be.

An adult is unable to keep another adult, from doing what they really want to do. I'm not sure just exactly what he's doing to keep you from doing what you want to do, but if I were you I would have a very long talk with him, and tell him that things are going to change around here, or you will leave him and take the baby.

Tell him that you are going to 1) get your driver's license, 2) finish your education (and not just an online class, either, you tell him that from now on you are going to take your classes on campus!), and 3) he is not allowed to "dictate" how you spend your time and your life.

This is the only life you have. Now is the time for him to begin making some changes, because the longer this continues, the more difficult it will be for him to accept the changes that you want to make.

You need one day a week, out and away from home. You need an afternoon to yourself, even if it's only one day a week. You need to be able to go where you want, and do what you want, go shopping, eat lunch at a nice little cafe someplace, or see a movie. Whatever YOU want to do.

How long has it been, since he did something for YOU? How long has been, since he did something with you that YOU wanted to do?

If you allow this to continue, you will have no one to blame but yourself.

If he loses his temper when you talk to him, stop talking and leave the room. Tell him you will not engage in an argument about this, since there is nothing to argue about. Tell him that you are NOT ASKING him, you are TELLING HIM, this is the way it's going to be now.

Should the conversation take a threatening turn, remind him that, in this country, it is a crime for a man to strike his wife, it's called "domestic violence" and he can go to jail if he strikes you, and if he goes to jail, you will NOT bail him out. Tell him that if he strikes you, you will leave and go to a shelter for women and the next time he sees you, it will be in court.

I have a feeling that this will not be easy, but you must try to change this situation now, because as time goes on, instead of becoming more secure because you have no life, he will become even more INsecure, and that will cause him more anxiety and anger.

It's important that you address this NOW.

Good luck!

He's not at all being loving- he's being abusively controlling and manipulative! He is making you feel inferior to him by taking away your rights, which is a form of abuse. Please go back to your parents, and take your son with you. This man obviously has some problems in the head, and though it may seem right now that he loves you, he has serious mental issues that he needs to have dealt with before he can love anyone. Get away from him an fast, because if he's possessive, he can become abusive very quickly, which is dangerous both for yourself and your son. You deserve so much better, and you will find it. My husband is also from Russia and says that many women from Russia do go elsewhere to find men, but I'm sure that wherever you are, you will meet a man that is willing to love you and treat you as an equal. :) Best of luck!

If you are not happy an feel that you aren't not getting the freedom you wish...then I would say he is controlling you! Sounds like he wants you to be dependent of him an he wants you to have no social life of your own. And if you are feeling this way you either need to sit an have a talk with him an let him know how you feel. If he is defensive about talking to you about it that would be my first sign that he is controlling an if he won't compromise with or let you have your say then you need to decide whether you want to stay in a relationship like that or leave. So relationships like that can end up very scary an violent. I am not sure how he is toward you but start to read the signs an if it turns to physical abuse it's time to leave - period!

You already seem to know it's possessive and controlling but so you know how obvious it is here it is in print...he's overbearing and manipulative as well. What should you do? You should tell him the games are over and you need to be an equal or you just have to leave. Make it simple...put your foot down or continue to live this way and have a miserable existance until someone dies. He's insecure but you're allowing him to ruin your life so how long do you feel like going? Make a change immediately.

It does sound like he has crossed the boundary from loving concern to controlling. The important thing though is how you feel. If you feel like you are being controlled, that is a problem. If I were you, I'd push the boundaries a little and see how he reacts. For example, change the answering message on your phone. If gets a little annoyed or anrgy thats okay, but if he gets very angry then you know you have a problem. Keep yourself safe though! If he gets very angry apologize to him and then find a way to get out of there before anything more serious can happen!

For sure he is very possessive about your.This behavior from him is because he loves you nad he is scared that he will loose you so no offence.

As time changes things will change.Don't allow anybody to over rule you because the more you are quiet the more the other person is right.Talk to him make him understand that this is over possessiveness or get him somebody else to talk about the same without hurting his feelings too.

Run don't walk away from the control freak you are married to!

Change the password on your phone and leave your own message...

ummmm sweetie.....how old are you?? YES CLEARLY HE IS CONTROLLING YOU!! and i feel so sorry for you, get out of that marriage soon because he my not be abusive now but it time it will came. All those thing you mentioned are tell tell signs of that. Ill pray for you!

Taking away someone's independence is a form of abuse.

He is abusive- MENTALLY!

Go take a bus and show him you will walk if you have to.

You will suffer from this man's insecurity.

You live like a caged animal.

Set yourself free!