Tell Wife Or Tell Him First That I'm Telling Wife Hes Gay?

I understand you're hurt. But you knew he was married and you had no issue with his lack of morals an honesty then. Now your hurt and shocked he was dishonest to you? Really?

I think your actually angry at yourself for allowing yourself to get into this mess and allowing yourself to have feelings for him.

He is a liar, a cheat and I feel sorry for his wife. But you have no business hurting her for revenge. And that is the only reason your doing it. You didn't want to tell her until you had been lied to. You had no issues with her not knowing for the last 3 years. You also knew it was a sex only situation which means he owed you nothing.

You may have deserved honesty, but if he is not going to give it to his wife, his family and has spent his entire life miserably hiding his double life because he can't be honest about his sexuality......You couldn't seriously have expected you would be the only person on the face of the earth that he wasn't lying to, could you?

Forget him and move on.

Man, I can see why he didnt give you a proper name and number. You knew he was married right? You also knew he would not leave his wife and family for you right? So, what you have said is that your mad because he gave you a fake name and job. Also your mad because you wanted sex to make you feel better after grandmother died? Next, your mad at him because he gave you money to keep your mouth shut? You know that $2,000 dollars could be seen as blackmail dont you? Do you think for one minute that your guy is stupid? Do you think that him being an attorney that he doesnt have connections to unsavory people? Do you think that he is going to let you damage his reputation in his law practice as well as ruin his family life and insult him before his son? Does this sound like a person who is right in their head? Buddy, you are asking to get hurt. Dont let your jealousy and fantasy get the best of you here. If you trap this guy and force him into a corner that is going to cost him his job his family and maybe half of everything he owns because of you, well you had better get some health insurance quick. And while you are at it get some life insurance as well. Dont be stupid. Take the money, as long as the numbers are not in a row, and use it for a mad vacation away from that city as fast as you can. Go to Fire Island or to the Keys or somewhere far away.

As the wife of a man who had ventured into sex with men, please don't tell her yourself. It's a very hard, humiliating thing to hear. And just as I wish you hadn't found out what a jerk he is in such a shocking way, she shouldn't find out from you either.

I would confront him next time he comes over (before sex, and no, don't throw his clothes in the shower), and tell him you know his real name, his wife's name, etc. and tell him he needs to tell his wife about his double life before someone else does. You can even imply that you'll be one to tell her. But, bottom line is this--for your sake, you need to take the high road. Do not do anything to him other than tell him that someone needs to tell his wife. And do not be the one to tell the wife. I know that reacting in a hurtful way will give you some initial satisfaction, but doing the right thing will give you long term satisfaction in knowing you behaved the best way you could.

Good luck.

You should go with the idea when "Or should I just not do that, maybe just email him and show him his profile/pic I found and tell him im telling his wife or do I just not tell him and just email the wife?"

You should just email him and let him know that you know he's a complete liar and then call and tell his wife everything and show her the proof.

Don't tell the wife!!! She is innocent to the situation and im pretty sure her life is Great and the last thing she wants to hear is that her husband is a Dow Low Brother.. Just find someone else and leave him alone. Hes just using you anyway. Thats why he half talk to you and don't show you any emotion.

it hurts

love hurts,you fell in love with this guy

so,even though you knew he was married

sorry, now dont go and tell the wife

what for

this guy will just get upset of you

move on,someone else will heal that space

you will

this time be sure who are you going to get in love with

for fun hey 'what ever'

once you start falling in love

you just need to know

whats up

dont tell the wife - try to confront the guy and things sounds it wont be a happy ending

either way

move on - look for that someone that will heal your broken heart

take care!!! : )

The wife has the right to know, his lying and cheating is putting her health in danger if nothing else. So please be kind. Don't be a drama queen and throw your little fit to assuage your own feelings. You were never anything but a piece of a$$ to the man. Deal with it. Find someone who cares.

You tell him that you know he's been lying. You tell him how you know this. You tell him how you feel about it, and ask him to explain himself. Then, you give him a chance to tell his wife himself. Give him a week. Tell him that in one week, you are going to his wife with all you know. Either she will already know about it from him, or she will be hearing it from you for the first time. Whichever he prefers.

His wife needs to know that he's gay and sleeping around. It could be dangerous for her not to know, from an STD standpoint if nothing else. (no offense to you, i'm just sayin')

He's living a lie with his family, it needs to stop. He's also been a jerk to you, and that needs to stop too.

Move on and forget the guy... What you propose is destroying a woman's life, pal..just to get what you want from the hubby. That ain't gonna fly either since everyone will hate you. Dump him, find a healthy relationship and stop being a *****.

You sound like a fourteen year old drama queen that's been dumped and is looking for payback. Not a late twenties adult.

Grow up.