Mean inlaws, what to do?

It probably has nothing to do with you personally. My mother in law, although nice to my face, thinks of me as the evil woman who stole her baby boy from her. Your inlaws are probably just jealous that you are the most important person to your husband (at least i hope so). Before we get married our parents are the most importnant to us and we rely so much on them. After marriage, that all switches to the spouse. Your inlaws can't get over that.

First..Standing up to them...completely won't work.

Second, The only way for you to be accepted (no liked or loved but accepted), is for your husband to speak up for you.

Tell him to make it very clear that not accepting you , is a direct slap in the face to HIM. If they respect him, they will respect his decision on the wife he chose. IT"S NOT THEIR CALL! They are disrespecting the mother of his children. Hurting the mother, by making her feel like she doesn't belong, hurts the kids as well. No child wants to see their mother feeling unwanted. If they can't accept that then they have no respect for the husband, you, or the children.

In that case, better to cut all ties.

If they really love and respect your husband, they will bring you into the fold. You may have to bite your tongue and play nice to win people over, but that's part of the price of being "in" with the in laws.

Have a 3 some, or a 4 some if your husband will feel left out.

You know, there's probably nothing you can do to change your inlaws. You should just hold your family together and let them be who they are. You are the wife and mother. Let them be their own problem, not yours. Be a bit assertive about your ownership of your family, but be nice. Talk to your husband about how you feel. Their behavior is a reflection on them, not on you.

I would address the issue. You don't want to have this conflict lingering around. I would sit them down and ask what they don't like about you...and why they make you feel like an outsider. Also, if they don't associate with you...there should be no reason why they associate with your kids. YOU made the kids...the kids are 1/2 you!

You standing up to them won't really produce any results because they won't care what you think/how you feel. It is now your husband's job to stand up to them and let them know THIS IS MY WIFE. there is no changing that, so get used to it, be nice to her, or else we don't need you guys around. He has to be firm with them or they will never come around.

I am with you on this one. My mother in-law flat out told me that "no one will ever be good enough for her son". LOL... and when we were married, I had the car, house, education, and decent job. I think my husband often fuels this her fire. Anytime we have a problem he goes running to mom. I have had this talk with him, but I know when he is mad at me, he still continues. I am not sure how your husband relates to them when you are not around. I try to continue to be as friendly with my in-laws as possible. I also have stopped complaining to my husband about it. It is not easy, but anymore I try to build his parents up to him... even suggesting that we go play cards one night. My husband was super happy. It was somewhat awkward for his mom and I, but I just tried to be as nice as possible. I have come to the conclusion that if I want my marriage to work, I am going to have to "eat crow".... not easy, but necessary. Good luck.

for specific your husband could desire to stand up for you. this is it quite is very own difficulty, you could desire to tell him how dissatisfied it makes you and he could desire to account for a manner he feels. I could desire to innovations for coping with the inlaws: (a million) Have your mom and dad and his over on a similar time (if this is attainable). Your mom and dad could little doubt arise for you, yet extra advantageous than that it will rigidity them to be certain you as somebody else's newborn with thoughts basically like certainly everyone else. (2) you could evaluate drawing close the independently in a one-on-one subject. Bullies are in no way as hard whilst they're on their very own and don't have their acquaintances to back them up or don't have every person to place a tutor on in front of. comprehend what I mean? in case you assert "hi you harm me thoughts" and it quite is basically you and definitely one of them i think of they're going to could desire to say sorry for it. stable luck!

Your husband needs to speak up. It's part of his job as a husband.

they will not understand it if you say that hurts my feelings. It use to bother me but now when I think back and needed help they were the ones to come to my aid. I wish now I would have been nicer to them.

I am just glad they love my husband enough to help us.