I have a co-worker who is turning into a stalker!?

Question

I've worked at my job now for 9 months. And what started out as a great co-worker relationship has gone bad and quickly! She was the first person to introduce herself and invited me to lunch on the first day. Which was great because its a big office! Then we realized we live pretty close to each other and to save time and money we'd carpool. 
But now she's constantly around me. She wants to go to lunch with me everyday, if we don't she asks me a 100 questions about what I did on that hour away from her. One day she even told me that it upset her that I didn't want to do lunch, she said I really hurt her. If we don't drive together 80% of the time she'll call me on the way to and from work to chat. When we do drive together she complains constantly about her life (she's 42 never married, no children and only 2 boyfriends her entire life). Anytime you try and say anything she has to make it about her and something thats happened to her. She constantly plays the victim role and trys to pull me onto her pitty wagon. 
The point is I need to break away from this friendship. But she's super sensative and has had 3 other friends do this to her lately (and I've been the one hearing about weeks on end) and I don't want to hurt her but I need some major space. I feel like I have a clingy girlfriend. HELP!!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well its obviously a problem associated with her if 3 other of her friends have had to cut her loose previously, which means you either need to talk to her about it or put up with it out of pity.

Personally Id say the best way would be to talk to her about it, and make it a serious thing, maybe make a point of meeting up with her at her home (so she feels more comfortable) and dont just end the relationship. Explain to her that theres a problem, shes making you feel trapped, and it is like having a clingy girlfriend which is not what your looking for.

Tell her you want to stay friends but some things have to change, and offer to help and support her through these changes, abandoning her like the other will no doubt only make her more clingy to the next person that comes along, if your truly her friend then you should help her rather than getting rid of her.

Anonymous · Answer

Put her down gently
try and spend less and less time with her
and when she asks u what youve been doing tell her i had some personal issues
(like family issues)
then one day say i cant see u anymore my (someone close to you) really needs me right now
(And if the problem turns into a stalker nightmare just talk to your boss about it
cuz it seems to me shes just looking for a friend

Alternativly u can tell her that she's waaayyy too clingy and ask her if you can have your own personal space every now and then

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I have a co-worker who is turning into a stalker!?

2 Answers