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is this poem good enough for at least a B in class?
Crystal sea of crystal blue
i see the beauty
i see it true
you wonder me
in every wave
oh great sea
once again
crystal sea of crystal blue
i see the wonders
i see it true
you plain amaze me
in every splash
faster than the wind?
a lightning dash.
crystal sea of crystal blue
i hear the sadness
i hear it true
each child who must now sway
to there room
after there swimming day
for yet tomorrow
to go and play
oh crstal sea, of crystal blue.
4 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Maybe. It sounds like a lyric when you use a refrain. I was thinking if you keep repeating the same line, then maybe you might keep the words in it to just one, so instead of using "crystal" twice in "crystal sea of crystal blue" perhaps "mystery sea of crystal blue" would help cut down on straining it to being boring with the overuse of "crystal." Also "you plain amaze me" SB "you plainly amaze me"
- Anonymous1 decade ago
yes, I would remove "of", from crystal sea of crystal blue and replace it with a comma.
- 1 decade ago
yeah its better than that.. keet up the great work!
oh and ^agreed to all the good suggestions above..!!
answer mine please: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlsyW...
