what do you think of this story beginning?

Christopher

Prince of the Sky

Prologue- Over the land of Vlaganara on the ninth month on the ninth day at 9:00 something happened, an eclipse of the rarest kind. All 8 planets lined up blocking all light. The Emperor of the sky, who only talks to the all female race of phoenix, sends his son through a lightning bolt to the ground near a phoenix village. As blue smoke and light drift away, a baby is revealed with a note.

Dear inhabitants of Vlaganara,

This is my son, Christopher. He is here to aid you in a great battle that will happen about 20 years from now. Almarn and his Seven Faithful will use dark magic to create war between your peace keepers, the elves. My son will rise to the challenge, for he is a great warrior. Until then he will be disguised as a transporter.

Farewell,

Emperor of the Sky

Twenty or so years later it has begun. The arguments have started at the elven capital of Selvin Rurel. Who should have leadership, should the inhabitants of Vlaganara vote or should their be a rotating colony leadership? The four different colonies of elves are secretly trying to gather allies but know one will join their cause because know one wants to get in the middle of an elven battle. There said to be fierce and terrifying. Only an elf would survive it. Also everyone is scared because if the peace keepers are fighting then they will be to busy to keep the peace and everything will be dragged into war with them.

A young elf of the Northern Colony who’s father is one of the ambassadors of the senate has realized what’s happening and on one freezing cold winter night, he sneaks away with intentions to gather everyone in Vlaganara and overthrow the elves before they make a decision that will ruin their world for eternity.

In ten minutes time guards were after him with orders to kill. Quil, the unsuspecting ambassadors’ son rides deep into the knight, his breath fogging up in front of him. He wrapped his cloak tighter around himself and kept riding. On and on the knight stretched, Quil was very tired but the eerie look of the dark wet forest made him keep going. After hours upon hours of riding the guards began to catch up to him. Quil heard a faint pounding. To any human it would nothing but forest noises but to Quils trained elf ears it was hoof beats, dulled by the muddy ground but still noticeable. Quil twisted in his saddle and through the trees he could make out three guards stringing there bows and knocking there arrows. Terrified Quil bent low over his horse and took a sharp turn into the forest and off the path. Leafy branches whipped and cut his face as he weaved in between the trees. The guards, now close behind him released their deadly stream of arrows that whistled past his ears dangerously, forcing him to change directions again. Then, before the guards turned the corner he leapt from his horse into the low hanging branches of a tree. They raced by without so much as a glimpse at Quils hiding spot. Once he confirmed they were gone he headed back the way he came in search of the road and the Transporter city.