Is it worth to fight to win her love back to me? WOMEN what do you think?

I didn't read your whole story - but is it a regular trend nowadays? Well it seems like a lot of things that aren't right are trends nowadays. People divorce all too quickly nowadays. People move on WAY too quickly after divorce nowadays, as if they never loved their spouses in the first place. (This is a big reason why diseases are getting spread around, btw.)

Anyway, infidelity is wrong, and there is no reason either one of you should tolerate that. Both of you promised to love each other and no one else til death. Do you remember what made you fall for her in the first place? If you can find it in your heart, tell her that you are hurt by what she has done, but that you are willing to try to make things work and start over IF she will cut off all contact with this person - ALL CONTACT - no emails, texts, phone calls, visits - NO CONTACT with this person - and go to marriage counseling with you.

For her to say she's going to divorce you... that's a huge hurt.

For you to be willing to give it a second chance, that is huge.

For her to take that second chance,.... that would be good.

But she has to make the decision and not be wishy-washy.

Fight how? I took my first wife to lunch once a week during our "trial separation", I sent her flowers, chocolates, wine. I told her how much I wanted it to work. We divorced 3 month later and she was remarried the following month. My second wife came home one day and announced out of the clear blue that she did not love me anymore because we dont talk. We dont talk because she worked 3rd shift and I rarely saw her except when she was a sleep. I simply offered to go to counseling.

My point is regardless of what some of the books say, one person cannot repair a failing relationship, it takes both people to do that. You could walk across fire, swim through rivers of acid, wine and dine her daily and, even if you sustained that pace for 5 years, the fact that she is not interested makes it all fruitless.

Does it hurt!? You betcha! Like a kick in the family jewels.

I am not saying that you should chuck in the towel and run, but you should very calmly and sincerely discuss the options available to both of you. If you cannot agree TOGETHER that this is worth fixing then divorce or legal separation is your only resort. Don't wait until she finishes school, she can do that on her own.

Good Luck

Honestly she just wants you to see that shes in denile right now, she might be in love with a total stranger but you as a man are missin the point, shes practically been with you so long that you can tell your wife is very negosible and understands that its hard to leave you because she has parts and pieces she still admires about you ,,,she might not be ready to give you a divorce because sadly she still has the hope that you will change but soon when she sees it you go back to your rudeness and naiveness, so she trys to keep her mind off you by beliveing she can go off with this other person she doesnt know...and yes you might think she needs space but i think your wife needs affection she needs to conect with you again like she use to...so if you still love her try and communicate with her because you aparently sound like those men that when the wife trys to explain her side the man completely ignores her acts like he know better when he hasnt heared the whole side to it...i think for your relationship to work you need to LISTEN, COMPLAMENT HER THAT SHE IS RIGHT ALMOST ALL THE TIME AND LASTLY YOU NEED TO OPPEN UP TO HER AND TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER DEEPLY...then to seal the deal you should invite her to watch a movie with you at the theater like old times...if she refuses though dont get upset and start arguing just tell her you love her and you want to just have fun you and her so it wont be about fighting all the time,,,,trusting this might work it might even make you see things diffrent

How in the world could anyone fall in love with someone they do not even know & he doesn't even know she exists! How could she have even "met" such person? Did she find him on the Internet? She has NO idea what this man is really like in person, is already married with a family. I DO NOT understand how she possible could "be in love" with someone like this. It has to be a "dream world" for her is all I can say. See if you can find out how in the world she "met" him. Do you think she's waiting until she gets thru school & can support herself then will divorce you? Maybe try to stop fighting with her or doing whatever you KNOW bothers her the most. Then she would have absolutely nothing to hold against you, if you know what I mean. Be on your very best behavior regardless of how hard it is to do it. IF a fight starts out between you, just hold your "tongue" & don't say a word. Just walk away from it period. This way you cannot fight with her. I wouldn't leave now until I've at least tried my best to not fight with her or do anything you know she'd hold against you. It's sure worth a try after being with her for all these yrs. Really make up your mind you're going to give things a good fair trial in your marriage. See if things just do happen to get better. At least she won't have anything you know of to hold against you. Put this other "guy" out of your mind. There's NO way she is ever going to meet him. NO way she'll ever leave you for him as she doesn't even know him. What would ever make her think he would leave his family for some complete stranger. He may be madly in love with his wife for all she knows. So forget him completely, this is just some "dream" she has in her mind for some odd reason. That's ALL it can be. Try doing your best, know you've done your best & see what happens in the future. I would NOT wait the whole 3 yrs. for her to finish school tho. IF this does not work after you've tried your BEST, then I would leave & not let her "use you" until she finishes school. This would not be a bit fair of her to "use you" like that...I DO wish you the best...:)

How does she know of this other man? Through the internet?

If that's the case, then yes it's crazy of her to be in love w/ someone she's never met.

Luckily it sounds like she's not ready to divorce. My advice is to tell her to stop all contact with the married man with a family of his own and go to couples counselling together. Fight for your marriage and stop "hurting her" for revenge...that is not good.

hon you need to take a good hard long look in the mirror at your self where did your self respect go when did you decide you were second best ? he is a dog and has no respect for you or your kids or his so called best Friend, I know how bad it hurts to know the person you loved for so long has betrayed you but you know what you will be all right let his sorry azz go and if you really want to get his attention well you go see your self a really good Divorce lawyer and take his sorry *** to the cleaners I bet you he will be begging you for your forgiveness then .And i would also set me up a date to talk to his best friend because even if he has a mistress he is still going to be pissed off that his so called best friend is doing his wife.....you just remember there is a very thin line between love and hate

Stop being a doormat-so she wants to stay married until she graduates school THEN she can dump you? What are you thinking? She is an evil, selfish person and you would be an idiot to stay with her. I cannot imagine that she actually revealed her plan to leave you after she graduates...tell her is she wants to wait then better for you, you can argue in divorce court that you put her through school and deserve alimony.

read 'relationship rescue' by dr phil.

if you cant even be bothered to read a book that will help you mature, which you desperately need to do, and save your marriage, dont come crying to me when you 'hurted' her more and she then 'falling in love' with someone else, who can probably at least speak and write proper english.

Stop "hurting her" and tell her to stop hurting you. Talk about things. If this is an online relationship, tell her to stop talking to his man and get help. Go to counseling together.

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