How come people don't understand that it's not "just a word"?

Question

I was getting a little fed up with a bunch of kids in my classes these past couple of days at school using the words: Gay, f*g, f*ggot, and homo to describe something they don't like. I'm about to pop some heads at this point. So I asked them nicely (almost the entire homophobic football team in one history class, ugh) to stop using that word to describe something they don't like because it's offensive to me and other people as well. I've asked them to do this twice before. Their response was the one I usually get from people, "I don't understand why it's so offensive. I mean, it's just a word."

The word f*g became associated with gay people during the times when it was still legal to burn somebody alive at the stake for being different than everybody else (Wiccan lifestyle, being gay, etc.). The word has been used to discriminate against an entire race of people that have a different sexual orientation. So, if it's okay to call someone a f*g, then doesn't that mean it's also socially acceptable to call something or someone you don't like a n*****, regardless of their skin tone? If saying one word that is meant to discriminate is okay to say, then doesn't that mean any other word that is meant to discriminate is okay to say as well? Think about it. In a country where racism is viewed with such distaste, how come homophobia is so widely accepted?

I was talking with someone else about these idiots, and he said, "It's not really used to discriminate against homosexuals anymore. Calling someone gay is just a synonym for stupid, these days. Same with retard." Here's the thing about that though. When you meet a stupid person (that doesn't do drugs), you wonder if they have a learning disability like ADHD or something, but instead of calling them a ritalin kid, you might call them a retard. But you would most-likely never say the word retard around someone who is actually mentally challenged. Why not? Because it's common courtesy. You know they're handicapped, and you wouldn't want to offend them by using that word, right? Well, it's not always common knowledge who is gay and who isn't, so wouldn't you use that same common courtesy so as not to offend someone who is in the LGBT community, and just might happen to be offended by the use of discriminating words.

Not only that, but it shows extremely bad grammer. Gay is a noun or a verb, yet people confuse it with an adjective. How in the hell can anyone who does that be taken seriously? Thank god none of the jocks are ever taken seriously. If these jocks had to spend a month in a gay person's shoes, and see the ridicule that some have to deal with on a daily basis, how some are treated by even their own parents (some of which disown their own children), they would think twice before ever saying that word again.

Today, when class started, every other word they were saying were those words. I finally got tired of it and snapped. I stood up and yelled, "Mother f*cker! Quit using that f*cking word! It's very, f*cking offensive!' The teacher looked over at me and calmly said, "Austin, you should really watch your mouth." I replied, "No! This is really starting to get old, and I'm f*cking sick of it!" From there I explained my reasoning (that I wrote above). My teacher told me that I shouldn't be using the f-word as much, but to my surprise, it was the jocks who got in trouble. 

What are your thoughts? If it's socially acceptable to call someone a f*g without thinking twice, doesn't that also mean someone can say n***** without thinking twice, and call someone who is mentally handicapped a retard?

? · Accepted Answer

i am so F*CKING fed up aswell. and they dont f*cking get it. i dont think they understand that maybe there is a gay person infront of you? its their lack of consideration and understanding when it comes to gay people.. they are uneducated... thats why i actually took the time to explain to people EXACTLY what homosexuality is in my literature class, and they actually listened and went all "ohhhhhhhh" on me. i didnt give a damn if i was nagging at them and swearing at them, they hate me now and i dont give a f*ck.... atleast they stopped using it infront of me, and when they do, i reply back with "thats so heterosexual" i know its lame, but atleast they notice now that its weird, so they cant use the excuse of it being "just a word" because i can backfire it at them:P

Anonymous · Answer

Kevin, you're right, we don't understand it. And I had never thought of it in terms of the way you stated it, so thank you. What I have to wonder is why do they need to come out? But, what if someone does not want to announce it because this is highly personal. It seems like homosexuals and bisexuals are pressured to come out and announce their sexuality. Heterosexuals don't need to disclose this, so why are those who are not heteros pressured to disclose this issue? To me, that announcement almost creates the barrier. Let me know you as a person and decide whether I like you or not and then you can decide whether to announce your sexual orientation to me. I can guarantee you that if I like you without knowing, I'll still like you after knowing. I can't say that as a Fundamentalist Christian, that I will ever support same sex marriage, but if you can accept that I may not agree with it, we'll get along fine.

Anonymous · Answer

Umm... okay. I can see you're very passionate about this. And I totally understand it.
But see, I'm with them on this one, and I am gay. I know I'll probably get hate mail for this but I don't have a problem refferring to myself as a dyke for fun sometimes.
I have black friends who are the same with the word ******. I just don't think that we should let words affect us so much. Because, let's face it, if we took them on and said "I'm proud to be a ******!" what could the homophobes say to us? Nothing really.
And just as an afterpoint, gay is not a verb (a verb is a "doing", you cannot say, I've been gaying), and it can be an adjective (I'm a gay girl). Sorry to correct but I'm an english student and it would have niggled at me.
You're probably right and I'm not saying you shouldn't be offended, but... we can take the words and make them ok if we choose to. I think we all just enjoy getting a little self-righteous now and then. I don't like it AT ALL when people use the words in a derogatory way to describe a straight person (Like "Missy looks like such a dyke") but I don't have a problem with them, per se.
Embrace the fagginess!!! Our world is becoming one of political correctness gone mad!

Anonymous · Answer

No it's absolutely not okay. That is hate speech and hate speech isn't okay.
I'm a straight woman and I am sick to death of homophobia, racism, sexism etc. Because it's 2015 and this sh*t shouldn't be going on. We're not in the 1950's anymore.
I'm pregnant with my first child, I will love him/her regardless of what gender it is or what their sexuality is and I will teach my child to accept others and love others for who they are.
No way am I going to let my son or daughter be an a**hole.
You could either tell those guys to shut the f*ck up and tell them just how disgusting they're being, you could punch the biggest one in the face and make them all fear you or you can just ignore it and pretend they don't even exist, remember they're so unimportant to your life. So they can go f*ck themselves.

Chechenz · Answer

Through popular culture, the word 'gay' or 'fag' in a negative connotation has taken a much broader meaning though slang, such as the F word has also. Both of these words are used in profanity to label negativity in virtually everything. Perceiving the word 'gay' in this connotation as a backdrop to homosexuality, a.k.a basically association gay people as bad could be used in a defense. However, the F word evolved in such a way and fornication is not seen as such but is used in a negative manner only because of the fact that the word itself is profanity. 

All I know is, I've met openly gay people who use the word 'gay' in a negative connotation, so if you're open with it, simply tell the user than you find that inappropriate. If the continue with the usage, then you know what that kind of person is I guess.

Josuan · Answer

Personally, I don't use any "degrading" word, but I don't care either, as long as the word is not used hatefully or insultingly against me.  Besides, in most cases where I am insulted (and that is rarely ever), it's ignorance.

If you are offended, you have all the right to be, because it is more than "just a word".  It has a negative meaning, a disgusting connotation, and can rarely, if ever, be taken lightly.  I don't agree that you fought fire with fire, so to speak, but I am glad that the point got across.

Anonymous · Answer

First, Fag means a bundle of sticks. I take it like they are calling me skinny. (which I am)

But I understand what you're getting at. People don't use f*g or retard in our school. For the first they get yelled at for their language. For the second they get yelled at for being disrespectful to people who can't help it. So they substituted the word "gay" for them.

I hate hearing it. I've asked people why, I've asked them not to. Their response is, "it's just a word" and my reply is "It's insulting". They're stumped from there.

Of course that doesn't really go over well with me...and I'm sad to say I get rather angry. But at least they don't use it around me. (I'm one of those people who is really quiet, but you want to avoid when angry.)

I just wish there was something we could do that was more obvious and would work in a snap.


(btw, thank you for your response on my last question)

Just Wondering... · Answer

no.. it's not right... can it be stopped? no. Not in this lifetime atleast. People don't have enough respect for other people to stop. My best friend is gay. I love him to death... he doesn't mind those words... but i don't use them to refer to him or other people... 
that doesn't make it right. There is no justification for humiliating and degrading people that you don't know like that. or even someone you do know, even if they blow it off. 
And the f word is a good word... i use is all the time when i'm pissed. I understand why you used it, that part made me happy. 
I love your rant, it inspires me. and i think it is very unfair how you get treated... if it helps, you could move here with me, and no one would think twice about accepting you ^_^  
i'm glad to finally see someone who will stand up for themselves against the Arrogants! (jocks)  you now have my undying respect.

? · Answer

I believe it depends. It's so common nowadays that sometimes people just let one slip. While I agree that it's offensive to a very high degree, not everyone knows or cares. If you explain your feelings to the person(s) and they continue to do it, just let it slide, because now they are just trying to get a rise out of you. I don't personally deal with this issue too much, but I completely understand how you feel.

Anonymous · Answer

in my opinion, it would be nice if people didn't use those kinda words

however... the way u compare offensive words is on a different scale...

first of all... it is just a fact that there are many many many rude, disrespectful people out there who will say anything and everything is gay simply to state their dislike for the LGBT community because they are homophobes... 

however... many people just kinda catch it because they get used to listening to other people saying it... but... most people might not say it to offend other people...

for example... some1 might say "that movie was so gay" or "that movie was so retarded"... they aren't saying those words to offend some1 who's gay or some1 who's got some kinda mental disability... it was simply to express their dislike of the movie... 

yes, it would be nice if they would say "the movie was bad" "i didn't like the movie"... but i don't think that any1 should get offended by the way people are using the gay word to express their dislike of something... 

now... the way u compare using the gay or or the n**** word is on a different scale... most people don't use the gay word to offend people... some1 who uses the n**** word would do it to deliberately offend some1...

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How come people don't understand that it's not "just a word"?

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