I am incredibly lonely, have no friends, and am suicidal, am I mentally ill?

To answer the initial question "am I mentally ill", I'd say yes, of course. Anyone who went through what you did would most likely be mentally ill. Though I don't like to use the word "ill", for no reason other than it just sounds off to me.

I have post traumatic stress disorder which has caused major depressive disorder. I don't have friends either. Not really. Some online. I live with my boyfriend. Most of the time he is the only person I see for days. I have a dog and cat. I was an only child, so I was okay with being alone. I don't usually feel as lonely as others seem to. I have pretty much no relationship with my parents. My mom tried to commit suicide when I was 12 just to get out of the house, and then she left. My dad and I don't speak and never have. I also self-mutilated- I'd take safety pins and scissors and just pick at my skin and make lots of little bloody dots.

So there's my background.

I can't "save" you. I don't believe in "saving". Recovering from abuse and trauma takes more than saving. It is a life-long process that starts when you realize that you're in trouble. I realized relatively late. After I dropped out of college 5 times and quit like 5 jobs in a row. I'm 24. I don't work or go to school, and I don't do chores well.

One diagnostic criteria for determining a diagnosis is- does it impair functioning (like daily living activities). My therapist puts an emphasis on that. From what I've read, that seems to be the case for you. How can anyone function to the best of his ability when plagued constantly by suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety, etc.

Going to a therapist, doing workbooks, trying out co-dependent's anonymous, and getting on medications did not solve my problems, so I wouldn't really ever say- "just go to a therapist and you'll be fine". BUT it is a start. The rest comes when you face the traumas and feel the emotions instead of trying to ignore them, minimize them, or whatever. Then after one's brain is thoroughly picked through, one has to learn who he is. I realized the other day that I didn't even know what my favorite foods were. I participated in so many escapist activities- surfing the web, sleeping, reading, etc., that I never ever thought of anything about myself or memories.

And you could probably see a therapist, depending on where you live. I go for free, because I have no income. I go through a local program funded by my state. I'm sure every state is different in regards to its programs, but I'm sure there's something available for everyone. Most places like that will determine cost of services based on a sliding scale of income. So 0 income is $0. Being 17 it may be different. When you're 18, though, there will definitely be something out there for you. However, I'm fairly certain that my case worker deals with minors. I could help you research it if you'd like.

The only lame advice I have other than what I suggested is find a hobby. They're sort of escapist in nature, but at the same time they make you feel good about yourself in ways that tv or sleeping can't. I am learning to crochet and garden now. A year ago I learned to sing and took voice lessons for a short while. Doesn't make everything go away, but it does give me some sort of sense of self. I don't think about suicide like I used to. Not at all, actually. I guess that's progress. What do you like to do? What do you think would be cool to learn to do?

Hope something I said helped. "Take what you like and leave the rest."

Sheena

To be honest, I'm going through the same thing as you right now. I have absolutely no friends because I work the graveyard shift and the weekend. Everyday I wonder what the reason for existing even is. I want to meet people and get over social phobia and have fun. You need to see a counselor immediately and come up with a life plan. I'm in the process of figuring those things out myself. If you can't afford a therapist most communities have ones that will work on a sliding scale according to how much you can afford.

Alright i can tell u have strained your self a lot all your life but believe me there's a lot more things worse in life than death. believe me i thought the exact same thing you thought of as well, people talk about you behind your back and having the thoughts of suicide come every now and then. but what you need to realize just as much as i have is you can make a difference in your life no one can judge you and that suicide is never the answer. i would always cry to myself thinking i was worthless, and that no body cared if i was no longer on the face of this earth, and i later got over it just by realizing there's a lot of things in life i can do and if i kill myself i wont have that opportunity to take a chance and try it out myself. as far as friends go let them come to you or try to talk to people you know and know there friends, don't live under the thump all your life you can't talk think others are talking about you, besides the more you think that the more they will think your not much of a friend. or being your 17 do what i did ignore everybody your almost done with school and make a difference in your future and put your family and school behind you and make something for yourself and when you do achieve your goals in life you can look back and not even know the person your were then. but you never know when i decided to ignore everyone i got more friends then i ever had people wanted to hang out with me, k..... the girls wanted to hang with me but were 9th and 10th and i was a senior. but yeah i made friends give it a try get out of school and make the best decisions in life. hope this helps I'm sorry you feel this way but keep thinking positive life has a funny way of changing.

Sorry you are feeling this way, you are NOT the only one you know. Millions of people feel the same way as you every day, and honestly the only thing you can do that will help you is to see a cognitive therapist. Since you say you are suicidal, you need to seek medical help for that, that is what anyone will tell you. Just remember, suicide is defeat. If you commited suicide, you are just giving in. The best insight I could give you is to just stay positive, GO MAKE FRIENDS, get yourself involved in things instead of going home everyday to sit there and analyze all of your problems.

I am 17, I have severe anxiety and depression, I have no friends, and I know about a lot of the things you've talked about. You seem like an intelligent person and I've never done this before but if you e-mail me I'd be happy to talk to you.

Loneliness is a really evil thing and I know enough of it to be sure of that. I know you'll be okay though because I can tell you're intelligent and that brings you far. You just need the will.

To help Self Esteem learn this-

Realize this

Hurting people hurt others. It's not you.. They are the ones who have a problem. They are sick and being mean makes them feel better. People/kids/parents do mean things or lie to manipulate. They just want the reaction so they can get high feel good from it. You have to look at the agenda and not just the words. Abuse is anything that's not uplifting so forget what truth is being used right then. They have the problem.

When they or you have been thru a bad past/rejection/father gone it makes things start. So called disorders such as Bipolar, cutting, OCD, anxiety, panic attacks,hearing voices can all come from a tramautic past. It opens doors to the negative and things like addicitons, cravings also. You can talk to me or google "emotional abuse" Knowing the truth is the step to freedom from pain.

Sickness can be a spiritual problem so praying to get rid of negative things of a spiritual nature is often needed after years of abuse.

Turns out psychiatry is not based on science. Its just like a theory and a guess. Doctors only practice this theory on the side of being docs. There is no medical background to it at all. Psychiatrists do not draw blood to determine the presence of a biochemical imbalance in patients. They merely observe and announce the existence of imbalances. They just desire to believe this. Mental illness does not exist.

Google online "Emotional Abuse" Read about bullies online.

Realize its their problem.

Google- Diet Depression Soda Thyroid

Google-"Sinners prayer"- learn that heaven awaits you

Google- "Deliverance Prayers"

Click my name to talk. - God wants you to know truth

Source-- Experience in a ministry- I have time.

I'm having the same feeling of loneliness. My loneliness extends from the fact that I don't have a mate. I don't see an out as well and think about suicide a lot.

All I can say is try to hang in there. I don't know what to say that would help you, but I think one thing that I sort of wish I'd knew is if it'll all work out in the end. And that I don't know.

ya this is a type of depression it's something No one can understand unless they actully go through it I had a kid at my school drive his car off a bridge you could become something amazing. try talking to kids at school ignore those kids who think there so cool look at the kids who love who they are just try to fit in. like my sister she was very self contious she had to learn to accept who she was she did cut her self and attempted but realized there are people out there wanting to be your friend and someone more than a friend. when you think about suicide are you thinking of the others around you ur siblings would be so messed up in the head without you you are at the age where it's about fitting in and being that hot shot. the one thing I can really tell you to try his going to a loacal church and talk to a pasture it's better than any help out there. email me if you wanna talk

Lets be friends, because I can't think of anything insightful enough to say.

I read the whole thing, i thought about it for about 10 minutes, but i got nothin.

I'm also lonely, so i thought i could tell you things that keep me from killing myself, but then i realized those things may not necessarily be use full to you.

So in the end i gave up, i'm sorry...

So, Depression GAD try walmart st johnswort thats the fastest cheapest help, since your parents are in denial? go to church where they have teen outting i know baptist like have activities,

bowling days , community clean up, volunteer at hospital dog kennel etc.. you can voluntarily go to the psychiatric hospital, you can get free mental health,just call and change your thinking there is a bright future but you have to take the right step..fwd!