As Blind Eyes Close, do you like the poem that stopped yet another spell of writer's block?

Question

The acts that fall between us,
the wedge cut out of the tree,
weakening its structure; it falls...
...you're leaving me.

Fragments of us in memory,
that my pacing feet grind down
into dust, to then become mud;
colossal tears flood the ground.

The night falls, clouded, starless
as a statue's stolen eyes
in the ruins of a temple
that bear the viral taint of lies.

Solemn ceremony, altar waiting, 
wreathed in smoke,
lain there, offered as sacrifice,
I am silenced in one stroke.

Bloodstains on the obelisk,
forensic after-thoughts;
placed under glass in your museum,
where the flesh of your lovers rot.

Time stands for no intercourse
with singular events,
but moves on indifferently
through the nightmares we invent.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The stanzas actually harm the flow of this.

Well written.

? · Answer

I see no writers block here as this was well done. You were able to bring the reader not only into the feeling and emotions of this read, but the depth of just how tangled ones mind can go within the feeling. I liked this, Dana

Anonymous · Answer

I read this twice. The way you layer longer story-related prose is admirable, and something I have much trouble with. You make it seem effortless, natural, but all of us who write know the opposite is true. I often measure the effectiveness of a piece by the number of TD's........Jealousy rears it's green head. Kudos to you, Mr Carney.

Dark Angel 1 · Answer

This is off the hook L.C. and i loved it much but i also read into all the sadness that is intertwined with in ' but from a storm comes New air and things Begin to grow' and to heal ..

Anonymous · Answer

i love this

"The acts that fall between us,
the wedge cut out of the tree,
weakening its structure; it falls...
...you're leaving me.
"
great lines, what i think about them
rest of the poems is also very good
i may say 8.6/9

Zahid from Pakistan

. · Answer

Sandra should read this to Jesse - when she makes him eat her dust!

Anonymous · Answer

This is awesome, lc! Your imagery is vivid, almost palpable. Should you change "rot" to "rots"?

Pea Pod · Answer

made me sad. Made me think about losing someone I loved :*( good job!

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As Blind Eyes Close, do you like the poem that stopped yet another spell of writer's block?

8 Answers