Why do women have trouble finding a good guy? Is it just that the ones who ask questions here?

Good question. One thing I have NEVER done, is go out a man or been attracted to a man because of his looks or his bank account. I am just not that shallow or superficial.

I look for integrity and honor in a man I look at his heart and soul. I look at his sense of humor and that he has an ability to laugh at himself and that he can be silly. I love a man who can "share" his feelings and needs. I love a man who knows how to handle himself and is tough when called for. I love a man who has self respect and dignity. I love a man who knows himself and that he is a man.

Unfortunately, you are correct when it comes to women, and all people for that matter, who settle. I think that sometimes people settle because they are looking for a character trait in another person that they do not have......so than they can feel "complete". When in truth....they should have had that, longed for, character trait to begin with. Some people are drawn to another person who makes them feel secure about themselves.

Many women, I have found, will be with a man in hopes of changing that man into a man she needs, instead of waiting for the right man to start with. No one has patience anymore. We expect too much and settle for so little.

Sad what we have become.

I have difficulty in my marriage, only because something happened in my husband's life that changed his attitude. That change occurred after we married. And it has made him feel responsible and guilty. My husband's 82yr old mother came to live with us and she lays a huge guilt trip on him. And she knows it. She has made him feel responsible for her whole life and so he jumps through hoops to try and "fix" her life. Sadly, he can not. Her life is still what she makes of it.

Emotional scars are enormously difficult to overcome......some of the things that you list, can be overcome easily....and by choice. Some are not. But it takes people setting boundaries and having the ability to NOT tolerate certain behaviors that would save them a lot of pain, hurt, disappointment, and loss of their sense of self. It takes people believing that they deserve more for themselves than what they settle for......for whatever reason.

I think the big problem here is that some women feel they can change a guy into the man they wish him to be and this just isn't always the case especially if they are hooked on drugs or alcohol.

I feel the woman that goes out with the married men do it either because they weren't told in the beginning he was married or they feel a need to prove to their self they can get this married man if they want to. Not saying its right.

Many women not saying all feel a need to compete with other women and so sometimes by doing this they end up with the wrong man for the wrong reasons.

Some will settle for a man that isn't that great simply because they feel that is all they can get or feel the time is ticking for them and they had better take the first thing that comes along.

But you have to realize not all men are honest and some women don't find out until its to late what they actually have gotten.

I understand where you are coming from and know how you feel we all want the perfect person, one without flaws., but there is no such thing as the perfect person, we all have flaws, one way or another., Except there are some of us who want or expect more than we can offer and that's a shame., We are who we are and no one should expect more or less. I also agree that people should love one, for the person he represents and not what he has, its what the person has on the inside that matters more than whats on the outside and if they are willing to take the time to really look and see i am sure they will understand what i mean!

What is a hot person, just because she scrubs up for the occasion doesn't mean shes going to look like that all the time. And what has hot got to do with looks. Most of these women are cold fishers so if i was you i'd look for one ugly women and you may get all the hot sex you want. She may also throw on a meal or 2. may even wash you undies.

I don't usually ask questions, but answer from time-to-time. I did find a good guy to date and marry. My criteria for dating (long ago) did not involve money or hotness (although I think my husband is hot - I find intelligence and humor very hot and he's cute too). I married a decent, honest, very smart, wicked funny, respectful, kind, patient, unromantic, non-perfect guy.

I love the national personality test idea. There should be one for men as well as women. Eventually all the cheaters, losers, abusers and jerks would be weeded out of the gene pool. Sweet.

I ask questions on here, and I have an amazing guy. I really couldn't be happier with him. He is great :)

He is hot

He has no money

he's romantic

he is good looking and isn't a player

he doesn't use drugs

he is not an alcoholic

he did not cheat

his anger management is acceptable

he has a job and is always trying to better himself

I love him and he loves me, that's the most important part!

Personally, I look for a normal guy who I can connect with. I want to be happy, and money or looks do not bring happiness in the longer term.

Some women, yes you're right. The immature and silly ones.

But to be fair.... *some* guys don't go searching for a great conversation and a little sympathy in a bar, now do they?

Maybe we should start a class to teach them to not saddle up to the first loser they meet.

And if they still do it, then have another class that teaches them how to NOT whine about their poor choices in life.