Diane's Free to Breathe Again

My husband....(maybe ex), left suddenly, in June.....There is an awesome man at work that seeks me out during breaks, to talk to me. He gives me butterflies......we have been talking for over a month, should I be forward enough to give him my phone number or ask him out? I have never done that before, considering I am an old-fashioned kind of girl. I am not used to the "dating game" of today, and am unsure of how to go about letting him know I am interested in seeing him, socially.

What should I do? I am a little out of practice and out of my depth with this one.

Thanks for any help......

I thought that maybe it was the oil pan gasket. Could the plug have come out from the "sludge" plug hole? My vehicle is a 94' Mitusubishi Montero. What else could this be and how much do you think it would cost to fix. I have kept the oil changed and have never had a problem with it before.

My husband suddenly moved to Florida with his mother. He quit his job, left his home of 26 years, and dumped his mortgage...bills, everything. I sold my home in a cash deal, to financially help him. I gave him everything I had. Now, I am left to deal with 6 rental properties and tenants who are stealing from us. My husband has ignored every attempt of contact, that I have made to find out what is going on and what I should do. I live in North Carolina. I need to protect myself and my grandson, who lives with us. The property is in my husband's name, as well as the mortgage payment. But I have no where to go, since I gave him all my money. I am scared, devastated, and alone. I trust no one. How can I get the property that the tenants have taken....back? How can I protect myself from being expelled, if my husband chooses to evict me from my home? What are my rights? He apparently is a con artist and defrauded me. I was a recent widow when I met him. How can I obtain, even a partial amount of money back from him? Can I sell some of his, and my things so that I can pay the bills or find another place to live?

Can someone please provide some answers. And no....I was not stupid, just vulnerable. My husband seems to have truly loved me.....just not as much as his mother and himself. Mid-life crisis or whatever, I can not get him to answer any enquiry as to what he needs me to do, or what I can do. I appreciate any help with this. I can not afford legal counsel at this time.

After contemplating my own behavior in my "drama", I have realized many things about me. I have been afraid to truly allow myself to love. And in all my pretense of being "strong" and "above" it all, I have realized that I am truly in love with my husband. I didn't know this until God showed me.

Will you read the text message I wrote to my husband and tell me what you think?

"B-----, I am not the strong person I pretend to be. I am overwhelmed with grief and I am overwhelmed with not knowing what to do. You were right, I have guarded myself so much out of fear that people will find out that I am just a scared little girl. I push out of fear. God is doing a work in me, God has shown me so much. Believe the best in me.....as I do you. We can make it through this. I have realized how much in love with you that I am. I am at peace with it. I have never known such a powerful love before. I feel you even though you are far away. This love made me afraid and I didn't trust it. I needed this time apart to find me, again. And to realize how much I truly love you. God knows my heart. I come to you with humility and to ask for a real chance at our marriage, when you are ready. This is the woman you fell in love with....your friend. I am with you, as you are with me. God has truly blessed my soul....with you, my husband. I value our marriage and the vows we said. I value you, the man. I have been so wrong. Pray and let God show you. Read your Bible to find answers."

I can not be objective enough to know how this text message sounds. Will you help me. by giving me an honest, yet thoughtful opinion? I am coming to terms with many things about what happened to cause my husband pain. I was one of those things. I am trying to save my marriage. What I had with my husband is so rare.....I don't know what to do.

Thank you ahead of time for your compassion.

After contemplating my own behavior in my "drama", I have realized many things about me. I have been afraid to truly allow myself to love. And in all my pretense of being "strong" and "above" it all, I have realized that I am truly in love with my husband. I didn't know this until God showed me.

Will you read the text message I wrote to my husband and tell me what you think?

"B-----, I am not the strong person I pretend to be. I am overwhelmed with grief and I am overwhelmed with not knowing what to do. You were right, I have guarded myself so much out of fear that people will find out that I am just a scared little girl. I push out of fear. God is doing a work in me, God has shown me so much. Believe the best in me.....as I do you. We can make it through this. I have realized how much in love with you that I am. I am at peace with it. I have never known such a powerful love before. I feel you even though you are far away. This love made me afraid and I didn't trust it. I needed this time apart to find me, again. And to realize how much I truly love you. God knows my heart. I come to you with humility and to ask for a real chance at our marriage, when you are ready. This is the woman you fell in love with....your friend. I am with you, as you are with me. God has truly blessed my soul....with you, my husband. I value our marriage and the vows we said. I value you, the man. I have been so wrong. Pray and let God show you. Read your Bible to find answers."

I can not be objective enough to know how this text message sounds. Will you help me. by giving me an honest, yet thoughtful opinion? I am coming to terms with many things about what happened to cause my husband pain. I was one of those things. I am trying to save my marriage. What I had with my husband is so rare.....I don't know what to do.

Thank you ahead of time for your compassion.

After contemplating my own behavior in my "drama", I have realized many things about me. I have been afraid to truly allow myself to love. And in all my pretense of being "strong" and "above" it all, I have realized that I am truly in love with my husband. I didn't know this until God showed me.

Will you read the text message I wrote to my husband and tell me what you think?

"B-----, I am not the strong person I pretend to be. I am overwhelmed with grief and I am overwhelmed with not knowing what to do. You were right, I have guarded myself so much out of fear that people will find out that I am just a scared little girl. I push out of fear. God is doing a work in me, God has shown me so much. Believe the best in me.....as I do you. We can make it through this. I have realized how much in love with you that I am. I am at peace with it. I have never known such a powerful love before. I feel you even though you are far away. This love made me afraid and I didn't trust it. I needed this time apart to find me, again. And to realize how much I truly love you. God knows my heart. I come to you with humility and to ask for a real chance at our marriage, when you are ready. This is the woman you fell in love with....your friend. I am with you, as you are with me. God has truly blessed my soul....with you, my husband. I value our marriage and the vows we said. I value you, the man. I have been so wrong. Pray and let God show you. Read your Bible to find answers."

I can not be objective enough to know how this text message sounds. Will you help me. by giving me an honest, yet thoughtful opinion? I am coming to terms with many things about what happened to cause my husband pain. I was one of those things. I am trying to save my marriage. What I had with my husband is so rare.....I don't know what to do.

Thank you ahead of time for your compassion.

After contemplating my own behavior in my "drama", I have realized many things about me. I have been afraid to truly allow myself to love. And in all my pretense of being "strong" and "above" it all, I have realized that I am truly in love with my husband. I didn't know this until God showed me.

Will you read the text message I wrote to my husband and tell me what you think?

"B-----, I am not the strong person I pretend to be. I am overwhelmed with grief and I am overwhelmed with not knowing what to do. You were right, I have guarded myself so much out of fear that people will find out that I am just a scared little girl. I push out of fear. God is doing a work in me, God has shown me so much. Believe the best in me.....as I do you. We can make it through this. I have realized how much in love with you that I am. I am at peace with it. I have never known such a powerful love before. I feel you even though you are far away. This love made me afraid and I didn't trust it. I needed this time apart to find me, again. And to realize how much I truly love you. God knows my heart. I come to you with humility and to ask for a real chance at our marriage, when you are ready. This is the woman you fell in love with....your friend. I am with you, as you are with me. God has truly blessed my soul....with you, my husband. I value our marriage and the vows we said. I value you, the man. I have been so wrong. Pray and let God show you. Read your Bible to find answers."

I can not be objective enough to know how this text message sounds. Will you help me. by giving me an honest, yet thoughtful opinion? I am coming to terms with many things about what happened to cause my husband pain. I was one of those things. I am trying to save my marriage. What I had with my husband is so rare.....I don't know what to do.

Thank you ahead of time for your compassion.

Someone help me.

My husband moved to Florida with his mother. It was sudden and it has devastated me. I have not heard anything from him. I have tried to text him and call him. Nothing. I am left with his mortgage, and other bills.

I have realized that I truly and deeply love him with all of my heart. Some people say he will be back, and others say I should pack up and leave. We haven't been married quite a year.

We have had communication problems, mostly because of me becoming defensive because of my husband's mother's manipulations and instigating trouble when there is none.

I am coming to terms with myself, in this. I know that much of what happened is because of my husband's co-dependency with his mother and trying to win her approval......he is 56 years old. But I failed in the fact, that I would become so angry that he would give his mother more power over our lives and our marriage, than God has. I felt less important and devalued as a person and as a wife. So I pushed and pushed and said things that were not really of me.

I know that my husband loves me.....deeply. But I have hurt him and I don't know if he can forgive me and try to work on our marriage. I know where I need to change and am doing that. But how can I tell him all of this when he won't even maintain contact with me. I don't even know where they are in Florida.

Can someone help me? Will someone pray for me? I am overwhelmed with grief and am so lost. I know the Lord is with me. But I am so heartbroken that I do not feel that I can go on/

I did not see this coming. And I feel set up.....see my previous questions. Thank you to all the empathetic humans out there with a heart.

I am getting to the point of putting my foot down and picking myself up......and saying "I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM ANYMORE"!!!!.

Walking in these shoes of this life.......is causing me great pain from blisters.....LOL

Is there anyone else out there who WANTS to stop being a victim to another person's manipulations and control?????

Let's start a club.......Backbone Anonymous.....LOL Anyone else want to join?

How long should I wait for him to come home?

When should I move out?

Apparently my husband has kept in touch with others, who tell me that he is going to come home. I just have a hard time believing that. These "other peoplee" said that my husband stated that "I will never have a marriage or a life as long as my mother lives with us." and "Mom has got to go".

We have shared many special memories. But does anyone truly believe that he will come back?

Why does love have to hurt so much, while I wait and hope he misses me.

BTW: He said he wanted his space and time....he would conctact me. It is killing me to not hear his voice, or feel his touch.

Forgive me....I am just lost and don't know where

All of our tenants are looking to me to be their "Savior". I can not afford to maintain a mortage of $3500/month. Plus the homeowners insurance, electric....etc.

Two tenants that had spoken to my husband before he left., said that my husband WILL come back after settling his mother in. I do not believe that he will come back.

Should I keep the monies gathered for this month's mortgage and move out.....or should I maintain hope of my husband returning, pay the mortgage and continue to maintain the tenants and the property?

BTW: I have not seen my husband since the night of June 8th, nor has he tried to text, call....noithing. I have allowed him his space and not contacted him.....but it hurts that he won't even see if I am okay. I do not know what to do. I feel lost. And I am tired of being strong. I need someone to be strong for me.....just for a change.....LOL

I was blindsided yesterday. My husband quit his job, and is moving with his mother to Florida. His mother has been living with us since December. She is 82 and suffers from "Maunchauser's Syndrome" with severe attention seeking disorder, with passive-aggressive tendencies. My husband is so overwhelmed with caring for her, his high mortgage payment, tenant problems...he has no motivation to save anything.....including his marriage. He quit a job that he loves that pays $60,000 a year. After begging and pleading for him not to leave, I left to stay with friends because the pain is so horrible.

What makes this so hard, is that we have made love everyday since we met. He told me how much he loves me the night before all of this. Everything was going great. He would say how I was a gift from God and that I was a beautiful soulmate and helpmate to him. I don't understand.....even at my age......I am filled with grief.

We have had difficulties in our marriage because of his mother's constant demands on him and our marriage. It is never enough. We both work and spend all of our off time with her....but it is never enough. I realize that blood is thicker than water....but to leave his home of 26 years, a great job he loves, and the woman he loves.....? I am giving him his space to find himself again. But he is blaming me for his frustration he feels towards his bills and the demands of his mother. Can he not see? Will he remember how wonderful the good times were? Do you thnk there is any hope of him coming back?

I am going back to our home and taking over the care and maintaining the payments on our home....his mortgage. I am trying to make this as painless for him as possible, and trying to allieve his guilt over what he is doing to me. He keeps calling our tenants to make sure I am okay and I don't get that. I feel so unvalued and am confused and in extreme emotional pain. I don't understand why he would give up his life for such a woman whom he admits is manipulative and demanding. This is so hard considering that I lost my late husband 2 years ago and thought I would die over that loss. And now this. Can a man or anyone out there tell me, objectively what might be going on in his heart?

We have had communication problems because of both of our frustrations with our situation with his mother.

Thanks for your understanding and compassion.......

Do all men need time? Is it a pout fest or does a man have the need to punish his wife by withdrawing and denying affection to the wife?

Help me to understand this....please?

Thanks for any help

Something weird is going on. There has been so much drama and crisis......more than normal for my husband and I. Other couples we know are having a really rough crisis time.

I am starting to answer my phone with "Crisis Center....how can I help you?"....LOL

Are there others on Y/A having weird dramas going on too? How are you coping with it all?

Is it hurting your marriage or bringing you closer?

My MIL has been hateful all day. She lives with my husband and I. And there was an incident this morning that was between my hubby and I....and my MIL stuck her nose into our business and it became a persecution of me, which was awful.

My grown daughter came over to visit in the afternoon. I was in with my MIL apologiizing to her and asking if we could get along and become a family. My MIL started saying horrible things, squawking, and yelling at me. My daughter came in and she told my MIL off.

Well....now my MIL is going to "tattle" and create more problems between my husband and I. I am scared....he will be home around 2:30am EST.... I don't think my husband realizes his mother is a born troublemaker. I do not know what to do. I can't take anymore discord that the MIL is creating in this house, Suggestions???? What can I say to smooth things over? I already apologized to MIL for what my daughter said to her.....none of which was untrue or disrespectful.....but I am afraid that with her manipulative nature, she will compound our problems.

I do not know what to do. He is standoffish and is extremely hard on me. He used to talk with me about everything....we shared our lives. He tells me he cant talk to me and I do not know why. He used to love our talks and any advice that I gave him to help him overcome a problem. We would brainstorm together.....now, he sees me as negative and I do not know why.

A few weeks ago, he was tearing up and said that he feels he has dragged me down. And that his problems were his, not mine and that those problems are hurting our marriage. I have helped him in more ways that I can count.....money, physical labor in his business (hard labor)...to save him money. One minute he compliments me telling me what an awesome helpmate and friend I have been to him.....the next minute, if I make a mistake or say something he doesn't like....he picks at me and is so hard on me.....I feel I have to be perfect. We used to be best friends.....but it is like he is pulling away from me, and I do not know what I did to deserve that.....I do not know what to do. I sold my home to help him financially......I am so lost, alone.....sounds like a huge pity party....maybe, but I put all my love, dreams, hopes, faith into this man and our marriage.......Help....I am too close to the situation to see.

My late husband passed away June 2008. I have regrets about things left unsaid, things left undone....not spending more time going places with him.

Would you appreciate your spouse more, be less angry with your spouse.....if you knew you had no more time to make things right with him/her?

The wedding is at 7pm

I feel so blessed......

Especially after last year....when my late husband died....he came to me in a dream and gave me his blessing.......

So......thank you all for being there for me the last several months.....

I love you guys!

She has been urinating on our bed and in the house. And the color is concentrated and reddish at times. Could she have a urinary tract infection?

If you aren't perfect, do you become "unloved"?