I need advice: My husband left me with his mortgage/bills/tenants, to move to Florida with his mother?

Diane, what really concerns me is that your TENANTS have to tell you that he'll be back after he settles his mother in. That to me sounds like a very odd dynamic to have in a marriage. That alone tells me its time for you to get ready to get out of this marriage.

There are divorce lawyers in the phone book who will give you free consultations. I would call one in an enormous hurry. You have major interests to protect here and very little wiggle room for mistakes.

UPDATE:

Diane, are you under less stress than your husband?

Do you have some miraculously different parallel life you're living that somehow has nothing to do with the life he's living?

I'm guessing the answer is 'no,' and since you are still there, and he is not there, then you have no need to make excuses for him. His poor stress tolerance skills are destroying your life, and that doesn't seem to be much of a deterrent to him. Look, I don't think you'd be posting this question if you genuinely believed on any level that he's just going away for a few days to situate his mother. The worst thing we women do to ourselves is to deny what our instincts tell us and what we see with our own eyes. You haven't seen or heard from him since June 8th?? Look, unless my husband was in the military and deployed, or in the hospital (proven), there's absolutely no way that would be acceptable.

You seem like a wonderful woman, but it is not your obligation to make excuses for him. Do what I said and handle what you need to handle. I know it's sad and scary.

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Something doesn't add up here whatsoever and a man who is married doesn't just pull something this big without consulting his wife. Since you can swing it all alone let it go and see him off for now until you figure out what you want to do over some time. If his mother living with you didn't help enough he's really going to a pathetic extreme to move where she wants next. Let him go and see what kind of tatters he comes home in or if he moves on to somebody else. Edit: One thing I have noticed is that you lost a husband fairly recently and married this man in a hurry. Now you have found this man has some tendencies that don't make sense and a mother with questionable problems. Perhaps you should examine why you are clinging so tight to men and mention your sex life as though it pertains to your happiness and compatibility. Maybe you should discuss your relationships with men and conflicts with your husband with a psychologist. He may be able to pinpoint your clinginess and need for a man around even though the man isn't wrapped too tight.

and this is your husband? seriously, it's been like 5 days and you want to flee? i don't know what kind of circumstance and problem he is going through with his mom... obviously something pretty serious; but a 3500 mortgage to me sounds like you probably live in a decent neighborhood and a husband that has supported you for some time now. you are sounding a little selfish right now... most people would be worried about their husband's well being and ensure they are okay... try finding out where your husband is first and getting a hold of his mom might the first step rather than just taking off... again, it's merely couple days and you are complaining about having to be strong?? sorry, i'm still perplexed on your complaint. Unless of course, you are implying that he is cheating on you, and that's why he is MIA... then that's a different story; and if that is the case, start off by going through his cell phone bill.

If you can not reach him and he has not contacted you then this is what you need to do. First is don't pay the mortgage second it will take about 4 to five month before the foreclose you. The money save it and move out get a lawyer and get divorced. Start your life over and you will be find..Kick him to the curve you don't need a man like that.. good luck

file a police report that fact you haven't called him to give him space rings alarm bells to me it will to the cops if you don't start contacting him. if no response then call a lawyer use that money for the lawyer seems your going to need it. then have your lawyer contact the mortgage company for you and your tenants. if i were you i would see about having a Realtor take over seeing to your tenants needs as they need some guidance from someone.

you need to check your bank statements to see if he has already wire transferred money out of state start asking the bank to stop payment on anything without your knowledge and permission if they say no, then close the accounts out at that bank right then and there go to another bank open new accounts in your name to protect you. you might want to think about renting your big house out to a corporation for a modest fee of course the Realtor can help you with this.

never do anything without checking with your lawyer first every move you make right now to protect your future and credit.

Diane, I've read your questions for quite a while now, and I agree with some of the respondants: get out!

Just free yourself from the pain. If your husband really was coming back, he would advise you, not his tenants!! Get legal advice, take the money, and start fresh somewhere else.

Good luck. Prayers with you.

Diane,

You are a kind hearted woman who has been taken advantage of. Your husband does not respect you enough to include you in his decisions. He has lied to you, he has left you with all of his financial resposibilities without even a note. He has not contacted you for almost a week. It seems as though your relationship is over until he needs something else from you.

Unfortunately, you are married to him and you have to share the financial responsibilities for all debts incurred during your marriage. I suggest you contact a lawyer to see what your obligations are in your state. The first consultation visit is normally free with lawyers.

You are too young to spend your life with a man like your husband.

we should meet up for a coffee. my partner is 37, still lives at home, and still breastfeeds as well. its sickening. she is sickening. its a form of abuse, what they do, and they try to call it love. they wont let their sons grow up.

sounds like she has manipulated him into this whole florida thing. guess why he hasnt text you? shes probably guarding him. my partner doesnt phone me from home cos his mum dont like it. she had even told him that it was cos the local calls were too expensive. i checked out the phone plan and confirmed they were free. my partner did nothing, no reaction. still dont phone me.

i were you, id assume he's out to f**k you over, with his evil mum, who must die (ha), leading, and get a solicitor NOW. f**k the people who want you to 'save' them, save yourself.

claim abandonment, do whatever you have to do, fleece the f**ker and that trout of a mother of his.

its a shame these mommas boys cant marry mummy, innit? i mean, how can we ever compete?

you cant have a relationship with 3 people. x

oh wow im so sorry that this has happened to you, people are so cruel anymore, if i was you i would talk to a lawyer, and no way would i let this man back into my life, you dont do people you love that way and i dont care how much space they claim they need, this has to be the worst for you after all you have been through, been there dont that also and it does hurt, i dont know what to say I really dont, my heart goes out to you, if you need someone to talk to feel free to email me