Men: What does it mean when a man needs "time" after there has been an argument with his wife?

I am not sure how long you two have been married. None of my business really. However that too plays a part, especially where trying to get on your feet is concerned to start an actual life together.

When a guy says he needs time, most of the time... he means just that. He needs time away for a bit in order to get his bearings back and breathe before proceeding.

But based on all you said here, his mother moving in shortly after you two have married (I am assuming) will put a major damper on your relationship as a whole. That will be stressful as well, and sadly also jeopardize not only your relationship with him, but also her as an in-law. You may end up resenting her later. It is like "what is the point in getting married, when you essentially have not left mommy to begin with?!" kinda deal. She could be putting a lot more pressure on him, in turn arguing about mundane things with you adds to that. Not saying it is your fault, it is just stuff that happens. But to learn together, and grow in becoming strong takes 2, not just 1 in any relationship. And this is something most people do not even consider or realize.

Now you should never EVER apologize just to save face where you know for a fact you are not in the wrong. No. Stop doing that! When you find you are both in an argument where he is in the wrong and blaming you for his mothers crap, then let him take the time he needs, and reflect on all of it. Do not say anything, no matter how much you may want to! That way, he will want to come to you, and (should) make the effort to make things right and apologize himself. He should be the one taking the consequences for HIS actions! Not you for the both of you! No! That is not what a marriage is supposed to be like. It takes 2 not 1. You only own up to your own wrongs, and he his. Not you taking the brunt of all sides, or vice versa. You can stand by your man, but that does not mean you take all the Shiz as well.

Sounds like he is keeping his mommy from cutting the apron strings (that is if she really wants to). Or maybe he is afraid to leave her. Then again, maybe he is just stressed because he loves his mother, but doesn't want to be mean in letting her know he just cannot take her in the way she is imposing on the both of you. And it is the both of you, not just him. He may need to man up and politely tell mom HE needs to cut the apron strings, yet reassure her he will always love her. And if SHE has a problem with anything about you! Well...that is none of her business really! Because you married her son...NOT her AND her son. This is not helping your marriage at all! You both really have not had the chance to live and BE married because of her moving all in your life like she has. Do not allow her to rip you two apart, if that is not what you want/if that is what appears to be happening (if these things happened once she moved in).

Guys do not like it much, but oh well. Maybe he needs an ultimatum in order to wake him up. Then again, what always gets them is when we act like we do not care, and do not show as much emotion on a matter as they expect us to. What I mean by that is, not so much acting like we "do not care", but rather, it will appear we are pulling away. When sometimes, we do when we are sick of things. If you show this, and walk away before any potential argument commences, he may be more likely to come to you and want to talk WITH you (not TO you).

I'm not a man, but during/after an argument I like to be left alone for a little so I can calm down and think over what happened. It's not about withdrawing affection, it's about removing myself from the situation so I can see it clearly.

Not all men need time after an argument, my other half doesn't. It's about the individual really, some people like to have a breathing space for a little time, others may not.

I think the best thing you can do is let your husband have some time on his own, then talk to him if you want to. Nothing is more annoying when you want to have time alone than someone there asking "are you alright?" "why aren't you talking to me?"

Wow girl......I read your add on....where did it go? Anyway, it sounds like your husband may be suffering from "manic-depression" from all the stress in his life. Most men his age will go through it when stressed. He is in his 50's right?

You might try counseling and medication for 3-6 months to help the Serotonin levels in his brain.

I can't believe he got angry with you over his mother's dog peeing all over the house. Why would he take that out on you?

How many times has your husband been married before you? If he has been married 2-3 times before you.....he is known as a "Chronic Divorcer". And each marriage he brings the past anger from the previous relationship and will take it out on you. Trust me, you could be anybody.....this would still be happening if his mother is living with you and is manipulative. So do NOT take it personally.....it isn't you. He has issues that he needs to deal with. Good luck

Sometimes we as women just don't know what we want. Please go and give your husband a hug and kiss him. Every man generally has a "man cave". Its a part of the home, whether is the garage, outside on the porch, or even a small secluded place in the back yard with a shed. Men need to gather themselves from thime to time. Its the DNA of what makes them who and what they are... Men are territorial as in the wild too. I digress. He feels isolated, disconnected, and not a part of the family. Often more than none, men are really very sensitive beings, but they understand if any weakness is displayed, we can/will eat them alive. (As in the wild too). I understand your plight, as my husband has a man cave and over a period of months when I noticed a disconnection we spoke about the "Man Cave" and he said the time alone allowed him to a bit of solace to watch the games and just chill in his element. There were no rules in his man cave, and he knew that was a place whereby he would not be distracted by: The vacuum, move your feet, don't sit there, I need the space, and those types of things that we don't see as a issue. While I cannot apologize for my candor, I must say that the last paragraph you wrote in your story speaks volumes: "I feel like he is more of a room mate than a husband. He even sleeps in there, but that is kinda my fault because I kicked him out of bed since he snores like a bear and wakes me up constantly, being pregnant that is hard to deal with. And he is a very large person so he takes up most of the space in our bed so I can't get comfy". THAT PARAGRAPH WAS NOT VERY KIND". Marriage is difficult enough, but when you add the ingredients of disdain, it reaps havoc on the precious ones too. Try to work with him by spending time with him in the man cave. GO SLOWLY. He is large and the majority of the issue of the snoring is possibly the root cause for other concerns. Please find a medium, I mean that is one of the elements of marriage. (COMPROMISE), but not to make him feel so disconnected. TRUST ME: Some one is out there waiting to take him out of the man cave and all she may see that he needs is a RECONNECTION! I believe you will do fine. Peace-Beloved

Hmmm ??? Time can mean the space needed to re-evaluate the whole situation in general OR he's the kinda guy that has the sort of temper where the space is not allowed he may get violent OR he simply can't think straight if he's not alone??? Not something i'm aware of ever saying and ive had a lot of turbulent relationships...Hope this helps a little as you have helped me in the past :)

To really be able to tell, you're gonna have to give more detail in how long your relationship has been. All I can say is that you shouldn't stress over it too much until after he had some time alone. When men say that they usually just want to think things over and/or be away from you for a period of time. After a few minutes to a few hours depending on how big the arguement was you should try to see if you two could talk. Apologize if it was your fault. If it was his, don't ask for or expect an apology from him because that might piss him off more than he is. If it was a mutual area of fault, all you can do is try to calmly talk it over. The best you can do is forgive and forget. Admit your wrongs if there were any and just get past it.

I hope everything goes well for you. Good luck.

Bato summed it pretty well. When I was married I considered it a time out, I think myself and most men need to diffuse. We tend to be very instinctive due I think to testosterone levels, men having more of course causing us to over react or go physical on occasion. If we are in control we realize some alone times gives us the opportunity to cool down and rationalize the situation. It comes as a determined "shutdown", I never meant it as punishment although most females see it in that light.

I still keep a punching bag in the shop.

Depends what he intends doing with his "time". Does he just need to get away from your annoying nagging voice for 5 minutes, or does he need to have a wild night out with his mates and pull a dumb blonde to recover from the emotional trauma of being told off for leaving the toilet lid up again? If you've got the second one then take some time of your own and consider whether marriage to the idiot is the right thing! It sounds like every argument is causing him to re-evaluate his commitment to you! Must be a pretty shallow commitment.

My ex warned me that if we ever fought the first thing he would do would be to go out, find the first woman and sleep with her as punishement to me. That was what he meant when he said he needed time. It was a total control freak punishment thing, left me begging and grovelling every time I tried to say I was upset with anything, and it developed into him doing it everytime I didnt do as I was told. NOT nice. Best way to deal with that is to not let them know you NEED affection after an argument to feel like everything is ok again. If you are justifiably angry then stick to your guns. You know you're in the right and its worth wining the point. If they dont listen and behave like this, then you really really need to re-think your whole relationship. Its just their way of getting the upper hand again, making sure you never complain and just be a good girl and do as you're told!

Ps if you have just got married and you're asking this, then you're already in serious trouble my girl!

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/TayIk

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

I need time to let thinks cool down after an argument. After a time we talk it over then the affection returns,