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How do couples date, now a days, after divorce?

My husband....(maybe ex), left suddenly, in June.....There is an awesome man at work that seeks me out during breaks, to talk to me. He gives me butterflies......we have been talking for over a month, should I be forward enough to give him my phone number or ask him out? I have never done that before, considering I am an old-fashioned kind of girl. I am not used to the "dating game" of today, and am unsure of how to go about letting him know I am interested in seeing him, socially.

What should I do? I am a little out of practice and out of my depth with this one.

Thanks for any help......

Update:

FYI: To some people who "assume"....

My "husband" left suddenly, quit his job, and left his home of 26 years.....NOT because of me......he was running away from himself and certain things he had done before he met me. He STOLE ALL of my money and apparently, married me only to CON me. I never was on a computer when he was home.....ever. And until you walk in another's shoes.....don't assume you know everything....or anything for that fact. You'll get mud on your face. LOL

Update 2:

My ex-husband did indeed, leave suddenly, due to his inability to pay his $500,000 mortgage, his having to chase down his tenants to pay their rents, his disgust at having to take care of his mother (who lived with us and his not realizing how difficult she could be), and he had received a final written warning on his job.......so he ran away. He grew up spoiled, never got anything on his own....his parents helped him by co-signing on everything or just plain gave him what he wanted....even as an adult. He had never know struggle before. He felt guilty about me having to support him, although I never threw it in his face. He is a coward who never grew up to be a man. Our marriage was annulled on Thursday, Sept. 1st.....finalized on that....thank God. I am free to do what I please......it is MY turn. I have been living in his life, trying to help him....so now it is my turn to be selfish and have fun.

17 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Its always best to clean up past relationships before beginning new ones. It would be best to at least be legally separated before beginning a new relationship. It would be even better if you were to finalize your divorce before seeking out a new relationship.

    Life does not always work in ways that we can plan. Different circumstances such as yours may change the dynamics and therefore change the appropriate way to interact with members of the opposite sex. Just be honest with your circumstances with him and let him decide if he wants to date a married woman. If you want to seek out the affection of this gentleman, non-verbal cues will give him the idea that you are interested in him for more than just a person to talk to at work. Eye contact, casual physical touching and other signals will give him the idea that you are interested in him as more than just a friend. He should be the one who asks you for your phone number. But, you could ask him for his number if you want to be more aggressive. It all depends on the individual.

    Good Luck. I hope this works out for you.

  • 5 years ago

    I was kinda in the same situation you are. I had a hard time knowing the person i wanted to be with didn't want to be with me. I waited for a yr and now we are finally together. Read here https://tr.im/4mL6h

    If i where you i would just leave her alone. Maybe contact her a couple days a week just to see how she's doing i mean 3 years you have to care about her and i know you miss talking to her. Let her see what you really meant to her. If she misses you she WILL find a way to contact you, And in doing that it will show you how much she really cares by calling you just to see why you have called her as much.

    Being a girl myself as long as you chase her the more she is going to run. She told you she didn't know what she wanted. so in other words she needs time, so give her what she wants give her that space she asked for. Show her you care by giving her that. If it is meant to be she will come back to you. Everything happens for a reason. I know all this is hard to do but it does work it worked in my situation. Im glad i did all this. Besides doing all this will show you if it IS meant to be or not. Good luck and i hope everything works out the way you want it to, and if not then i wish you the best of luck starting something new

  • 1 decade ago

    I have been in your situation after 20 years of marriage. - As for the man at work do not ask him out as that will look to pushy, if he asks for your phone number then give it to him but personally i would wait till he asks you out. At this moment with your husband leaving you will feel useless and feel your life has come to an end but it will get better and you will meet someone else eventually. I waited 3 years before I started dating again as there was a lot I had to go through with the sale of the house etc before I would ever slightly trust a man again. I have been with current partner for 9 years and although I love him to bits etc I feel I rushed into it and would have been better just dating rather than look for a long term partner. You will also find that now that you are single men seem to thing you available for sex without any hesitation. Good Luck.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

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  • 1 decade ago

    I would not be so anxious. Men are going to seek you out and why not, your a pretty lady, but looks don't mean anything, but for some it helps. Single guys on the hunt for new meat find it, love it, have sex with it and then move on.

    You will feel used and obliterated; However, you make the call and you do as you wish, but remember your loss when you decide to lay down again with another Man that falls in love after getting his whistle wet. Those are the weak individuals.

  • 1 decade ago

    Seem to me you might the answer to this question yourself. The world is changing therefore, I don't think nothing should hold you back from living your life. We're not sure why your EX left suddenly but, you can surely do things differently this days. Step out and make yourself happy I presume.

    Ps: I do like it when people say "am a little out of practice", I refuse to believe that :).

  • 1 decade ago

    l'm dating a divorced woman right now. she seems to know what she wants from me. l don't have to do a whole lot. thats the biggest mistake l've made in the past l was trying to hard. l don't have to try at all now she take care of everything and stands by me no matter what l do. so my advise is stand by him let him be who he is, show interest. But first you've got to ask him out. but don't be to forward don't make it sound like a date at first just invite him somewhere like maybe a walk after work or maybe you can bake him some cookies and give him one everyday at lunch break, keep him interested in you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Just start by asking where he lives and talk about the area and where you live. Then say 'I'd like to go out for drinks sometime, how would you like that?' But be careful not to get into a relationship maybe on a rebound.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'd say wait and see until your husband is really an "ex" husband or no before you proceed with new relationships or dating. 1) It's cheating since you're still married and 2) You never know when it can be used against you if the case goes to court.

  • 5 years ago

    because of the fact, while ur relationship, maximum ppl do no longer stay mutually, so u in basic terms see the superb of the two events. And u like that. whether u do no longer see the superb, u attempt to make the superb of issues. U prefer to consistently positioned ur superb foot fwd. AFter marriage, u tend to place ur safeguard down. It gets tiring after a on a similar time as. Plus, regularly, while u date, ur mothers and dads are not in ur relationship, yet as quickly as ur married, some in rules are very intrusive, relatively while grand young toddlers enter the image, and that's confusing to take. U can no longer tell ur in rules to shove it, and neither can their infant. Then those issues flow into the abode n mattress room. and of path, while ur married, the two tend to quiet down, and from time to time, the grass ought to look greener on the different edge, and then u make comparisons(from time to time in ur head), because of the fact that's in basic terms organic to choose what u have not got. And that's truly confusing for women to understand and shop on with the concept she ought to consistently look as she did while she and her guy have been relationship...yet in addition selection it up slightly in accordance to the circumstances and her age. Do all this on a similar time as protecting the abode, raising the youngsters, and searching after hubby. that's no longer ordinary. Husband's wade by this too, yet regularly, different halves look greater forgiving(it truly is how they're raised). even nonetheless, I hear in india that's changing, for the reason that I examine on right here that greater women than adult males are submitting for divorce. The above statements are the main reason y. women are the weaker intercourse in maximum aspects. while ur married, roles for the two spouses replace. yet adult males consistently choose the ladies they married, and girls in no way ever see the guy they married back. while neither intercourse can settle for this and understand life is a real attempt of a relationship, then issues flow array. The sacrifices are not too great while u date, yet while u marry, they're. the two events unfastened some freedom while married, and that's some thing they over look purely before marriage for the reason that they have in no way experienced it before.

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