Please help me out here? Please?

It makes me really happy to see that there are still great fighters out there. I cannot begin to understand how you must feel because i've never known nor had your illness but hopefully what i say can give you a littler more peace of mind....i want you to find solace in knowing that there are an extreme amount of disadvantaged people in our world, i know because i was one as a child and quite frankly i still am. at 18 years old i learned that i since there others in the world with troubles in their life(less,equal, and greater) i shouldn't lose hope that there will always be a better day....where every second is worth it because i would love nothing more than to make a difference big or small. Some consider it to be a little naive but courage will help you win any internal and external battle only if you believe it will.

Friends and loved ones are a great source of comfort, but love a family member (mom) is priceless. I've been raising myself since 15. I made great grades in school and graduated despite a full time job, and apartment bills. I recently just got my mother back into my life and i'm fine with it now. Truth be told i resisted at first but then i came to the realization that there is no point for harboring hatred or resentment because i wouldn't want that to be the last impression she has of her son. Don't try to prove to you mom that she messed up because i'm sure she knows she did...just let her know that she can't make you life any easier or more difficult than it already is so just be my mom and that you'll handle it from there. don't ever let anyone see you down....chin up and keep overcoming your obstacles because guaranteed it'll make you stronger.

best of luck and wishes to you

Devon

Wow! I just looked up some info on fibromyalgia and it sounds like a very difficult condition keep hanging in there. I first want to commend you for staying in school and not letting your condition be an excuse to be lazy, And your will to seek advise and help. Your mom has failed you in the past for not being there for you but you need to allow her to try to be there for you as much as she can. She will be your mother for ever and friends might come and go through the years. Besides none of us are perfect anything... that includes parenting. You will one day maybe mess up too and wish you can have a second and even a third chance to prove your self to someone about something.

And yes you do still need her in so many ways that you might not yet see.

People will fail you.... guaranteed!

Seek God you are not alone! Ever! Ever!

There is a higher reason you are hanging in there through such a tough circumstance otherwise you would of already given up. Why continue?

Pray for peace pray for clarity.

Read the book of Job

Jesus Christ is LORD!

It is hard not to become overwhelmed in this situation. There are fibromyalgia support groups in a lot of cities or online that are hugely helpful. Also, when you are coping with a chronic condition like this, a counselor is a great idea ... maybe your mom would even be willing to go with you?

I think you should just explain to your mom (in email or letter if more comfortable) that you are struggling to make it through your days and family interactions can be stressful sometimes so you would prefer to have your lighthearted friends along on your doctor visits to distract you. I am sorry your mom wasn't there for you but, being a mom myself, whether I had hurt my daughter or not, it would be hard to take her not letting me help her once I realized she had a need. I think it would be good to give her something to do to help you cope ... something that will make her feel like she is helping but something that you don't HAVE to have to make it through your day, you know? Maybe let her make you some dinners, or take you shopping to buy you easier dinners. Tell her you need help cleaning or ask if she could go to the support group with you. These are things that she could help with that might help you feel more supported but it wouldn't be completely overwhelming if she does happen to let you down.

I strongly recommend a counselor and (if you can do both) a support group.

You have to structure your life in a way that is conducive to your pain level because if you overwhelm your energy resources you will not be successful in anything you attempt and that will make managing even harder. I know it is hard to accept that you may have to cut back on some things you are doing and to make those kinds of choices and compromises at a young age but honey, sometimes you have to nurture yourself the way you know a good mommy would, right? A good mommy wouldn't let her daughter do so much it was overwhelming her ability to cope.

Strongly recommend reading up on ways to eat and clean your house without chemicals and additives, too. Believe fibromyalgia to be an "overload" of your system where too much input of anything: chemicals, emotion, stress (good or bad), heat, cold, fatigue, additives ... etc puts your body into overload and causes more pain and headaches and other symptoms. Reducing the chemicals in your home and food supply will help enormously. But please find a support group and/or a good counselor.

Also, I am a big believer in spiritual meditation. Something where you can center yourself and tune the world out ... seek a life source and follow it with whatever energy you have. Don't give up. Keep pressing on. They say fibromyalgia is incurable but when you find the solution that works for you life gets bright again ...

First of all, please read all of this before you become offended. I really don't mean to hurt your feelings or offend you, but I'm not as young as you and I've lived long enough to have been able to observe some things in people. What I say is just my opinion from those observations and my experience in life. And considering it COULD help you and won't hurt you I'm going to say it anyway. But you'll have to be pretty mature to take it without being offended.

Without negating your struggle or your pain, I observed in your letter that you are being very unforgiving toward your mom. You seem to believe that she 'owes' you all her time and energy and whatever else you want her to 'owe' you. It sounds like you have a case of princess-itis, and a sense of entitlement. There are a lot of reasons you might be upset with your mom. Some of them may be reasonable and valid. Most likely, some are and some aren't. But it doesn't matter about that. This is what matters:

Angry people suffer more than other people. They get cancer and other diseases and illnesses more. They die younger. People who hold grudges suffer more than other people. People who refuse to forgive others suffer more than other people. Anger will "put a hole in your stomach." Figuratively.

The people one is angry with are NOT suffering from it. Harboring anger against someone is like giving an enemy free rent in your brain. It's allowing the person you're angry with to remote-control you and your tho'ts.

People who forgive others easily and have happy, thankful hearts, suffer a lot less than people who don't. An "attitude of gratitude" is a wonderful medicine. So is laughter.

You need to stop thinking so much about yourself and your own wants, needs and wishes, and think about other people's wants, needs and wishes more. You need to be less self-focused and more outward focused.

And get good nutrition.Too much caffeine can make one physically uncomfortable. Or sometimes chocolate, milk (dairy products), even too much orange juice, or other food items can disturb one's physical well-being. Try keeping a record of what you are eating and drinking, then doing without each of those things for two weeks--one item at a time--and see if you find a pattern. Keep a written record, so you can see it.

You say you're so young and alone, but you won't let the one person who loves you most in the world be with you. So she pushed you away at one time. So what? She's a human being, too. She has problems to deal with, too. Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance? Or just you?

If you don't want her in your life drop it and move on, but don't be angry about it. Just make it a logical decision that works for you. Likewise with your physical pain. Pain hurts, no doubt about it. But some of us have to live with pain. Being angry won't help. Be logical instead. Fix what you can and be happy about the good stuff. Don't be angry. It makes your life worse.

And then people ask the question, "Well, how do I get rid of it?" Just let it go, that's all. Our minds have way more control over our well-being that we realize. I would bet that if you told yourself every single morning for 3 weeks, before you got out of bed that, "Today I won't be angry with anyone, and my body will not hurt as much as it did yesterday," that it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. And of course, refuse to be angry with anyone for any reason that day. Anyway, you could try it for three weeks and see what happens. It couldn't hurt you.

Please think about what I've said. You say you want and need help and this really is a way to help yourself even if it was hard to hear.

Good luck & God bless.

This must be very frustrating to you.your mom should have been there for you and she wasn't.but you do have your friends to help you cope.you are fairly young to be having to go through this.as for your anger the only thing I can tell you that may help is to,when you do get angry remember your friends and them being there for you.It may help to find someone with a similar problem and chat with them for a while.anyone who has been through what you have would probably more than likely love to help you out and to help you cope.they will be the most likely to understand your pain and identify with it.hope all works out for you.

Im kinda shocked you can have a boyfriend with that disease. Uh i donno my dad isn't really there for me when i need him but thats ok im independent