Worried about boss giving bad reference to keep me from leaving?

Question

I've been at my current management/supervisory job within a school for almost 4 years.  I've done a fabulous job, passed every state audit I've faced, started multiple programs to benefit the students, opened multiple new schools, and handled nearly every task asked of me.

However... my current boss knows this.  Losing me would be very hard for the district, as my knowledge and skills are nearly impossible to replace in the area I live in.  And they would have to double my salary just to bring in someone with similar skills from outside our area.

I am absolutely certain that I want to move... I haven't had a raise or gained any benefits since I was hired (I made $18K without benefits last year... my position typically starts $35-55K with full benefits elsewhere), and recent state education budget cuts ensure that I won't have one coming anytime soon.  And I've recently started a family, so I cannot afford to raise my family on the same salary I lived on as a bachelor.  Even a small raise, say to $22K, isn't going to be enough to support a large family (I had twins, raising my children to 3).  I've spent a lot of time considering pros & cons, and I know for 100% fact that I want to leave... I have thought for months about it, have discussed it with friends and family, and have a full list of reasons why I would want to do so (none of which attack the school or my supervisor, other than the low pay).

I've had recent interviews that have gone well.  However... I'm worried that if other employers call my current job, she will be surprised and will be dishonest about my work ability as a means of keeping me from leaving.

I'm not worried about being fired, as I'm too valuable to the school and replacing me would be too difficult... if anything, they need me to help train my replacement before I go.

Should I inform my supervisor that I'm looking for other possibilities, so that a phone call does not catch her by surprise?  My family really needs me to find a new position, and I'm scared that the great interview I had last week will be ruined by lies solely as a means of keeping me around.

Thank you to all who took the time to read this, and a bigger thanks to those who answer.

honeylane · Accepted Answer

There is no reason why you should keep it a secret that you're looking for a position elsewhere.  Talk to your boss and relive the past memories of what a great job you've done and remember that as it's time to move on, there will be no hard feelings.  As far as references go, it is never ok for your boss to give you a bad reference, if untrue.  That could be libelous and actionable, and the school you work for would have to fork over $$ to you since they are his employer.  He wouldn't be so stupid.  Find out if there is an Employment office and ask the personnel there what to except as far as references go.  Sometimes due to "liability reasons" (i.e., the attorneys and accountants develop a policy of how far a boss can go, say and do when a reference call is placed), there is a basic name, dates, and position/salary type of information that's allowed, and nothing as far as your work ethic, duties, etc. etc.  A lot of times people lie about their salary so they can make more at the next job, so find out what the policy is on divulging salary.

First think you do is you talk to the Employement / EEO / Antidiscrimination office and check with them to see if this advice is solid.  Personally I feel you need to tell your boss you're leaving.  Who wants to hear from some future prospective employer that a trusted employee of his has got plans to leave.  It should come from you, as stated above.

xochitl · Answer

with any luck they might think of roughly the different references. i might attempt to be discreet once you're interest finding. in case you prefer a reference i might attempt your co workers.

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Worried about boss giving bad reference to keep me from leaving?

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