TEEN GIRLS ONLY: I've posted this before, but I've thought things through and still need help? (pretty long)?

we're both 17. we dated for a few months. i fell in love with her the moment i first kissed her forehead and held her in my arms, and told her everything will be alright when she fell ill.

she is very hardworking. very very into her schoolwork, not like most girls, and under lots of pressure.

our relationship was short, but we had lots of fun together. i never told her that i loved her. i could feel that part of her loved me too. i showed her kindness, i bought little surprises for her, i wrote her a poem, flattered her at every chance...

we never had sex though. we did stuff, sure... but i didn't want a relationship based only on that. she was thankful that i didn't.

we broke up after a series of "mock" trial exams, which i did fairly well in while she got very stressed and did badly. she said to me she couldnt hold a relationship in our school, but that she really wanted us to stay friends. she later wrote to me, saying "i'll miss you. i always will".

a week after we broke up it was my birthday. she sent a card, wishing me happy birthday and saying "with love, forever and always".

over the holidays, when we had to prepare for big exams, she was very stressed with work. foolishly, i finally told (by text... stupid, i know) her i was hopelessly, madly in love with her. i asked her if part of her felt the same. she replied "ezio, i dont have time for this, im so busy revising! .of course part of me feels the same but i would rather just focus on my schoolwork". i kept texting her for a few days, which was also v stupid cuz she never replied, because she was under loads of stress (the easter holidays are basically the revision holidays for kids here in england... very stressful and frustrating)... i sent another text a few weeks later when the holidays were over, and she said "im really struggling here with work. i may see you after my stress with the exams. please stop texting me Ezio, i really cant handle it any more. please can we just be friends for now".

lately, things took a turn for the worst... I received some bad news on monday, and I let my heart get to my head. I texted her once more, telling her that I couldn't keep living like this, and (really, really stupidly...) I said "in a few days my mother will be planning a funeral... I'm sorry Angela". I didnt tell her exactly what happened, and I don't want to say it on here... but i came very close to ending my own life; i have been enduring pain these last few years (she knows this), and was contemplating giving up.. she got very upset when she read the text, and that's when i realised what i had done and thought i had screwed up any chance of being with her again.

Things brightened up. I went to a psychiatrist, a very understanding and intelligent man. I told him what I had done, and how scared i was of losing her because of a reckless decision. he told me not to worry, and that provided i leave her alone for several weeks now until the exams are over, there is a good chance she will come back...

i know most of you will feel angry, sad or shocked reading this, and tell me to move on. that is the one thing i can't do. sure, i could go out and find someone else... but ive tried that already. she doesn't get much attention from guys, especially not romantic attention... she once said she couldn't understand why "you're really hot, but you didn't choose some pretty blonde girl" instead. but to me, she is the most beautiful girl in the entire world. and i love her. i'd say it a million different ways if i have to, write every love song or climb to every star in the sky for her... i wrote a poem for her a few weeks after we split, (I don't know exactly, but I think she liked it... I'll post it later if you want)

I have asked what to do many times before, and I think it's best that I send a final text telling her that I am here for her and always will be, that I will wait for her, forever and always, because I love her more than anything...

(I know it seems like I'm obsessed, but I'm not... I have experienced "love" before in my life, but words can't describe how much I care for this girl)

sorry for repost. dont feel that you have to answer again if you already have.